Desperate Housewives 6.03 “Don’t Judge A Lady By Her Lover” Recap

This week’s Desperate Housewives had Susan going for the Psychotic Mother of the Year Award and her competition was Angie Bolen, if that’s Angie’s real name.

I am getting ahead of myself. Let’s recap!

Lynette’s Lie

Lynette and Tom reveal to the kids that they are about to get another set of siblings. How do Parker, Preston, and Penny take it? Parker thinks they were being irresponsible, Preston thinks it’s disgusting that they are still sexually active, and little Penny says she’s jumping ship if it’s another set of boys. So, would harshly fit the bill?

While Lynette preps herself to tell Carlos about her pregnancy, he promotes her to being his Senior VP, which Lynette refuses until he offers a 50% salary increase with the position. When Lynette asks why he didn’t give it to another woman up for the job, Carlos says simply because she was pregnant. Let the lies and tomfoolery begin.

Lynette’s first task as Senior VP involves a dinner date with Carlos, Gaby and a new client and his wife. She has to bring Tom and, boy, she better be glad she did, because the client is a winemaker and constantly pushes wine in her face. Tom, who is in on Lynette’s lie, covertly drinks the wine as it is passed to Lynette and ends up drunk.

Wonder how long this scheme will go down and how long will it be before Tom gets fed up with it as well?

The Jealousy of Bree

When Karl asks Bree to a weekend in Las Vegas, she declines, saying that 1) she has a husband and 2) their relationship is just not that serious to do something that only lovers would do. Fast forward to the Annual Country Club Fall Fest, where Bree is unnerved by Orson’s constant presence. Enter Karl, who has a much younger date named Candice, on his arm. Turns out that that not only does Orson know Candice, but that Karl is planning on taking the Candice to Bree and Karl’s secret rendezvous as well. Bree’s jealousy clashed with the angry red of her hair as she calls Karl to the side and demands an explanation. Karl tells Bree that since he is nothing but a fling to her that he should be able to date who he pleases when their time is done. Later, Bree ups the jealousy and spills oil on the dance floor while Orson and Candice dance, making them slip and fall, resulting in the Candice breaking her nose.

Later, Orson confronts Bree about the oil spill and thinks that it was done in response of him dancing with Candice, which in Orson’s warped head means that Bree still loves him. Slightly perturbed, Bree calls Karl and sets up that Las Vegas date.

John Rowland Returns

At a restaurant, a frumpy looking Gaby argues with her daughters when her old paramour, John Rowland shows up. The verbal jabs between Carlos and John were hilarious, but we find out that John owns the restaurant and he bought it after his divorce. Gaby tries to fix herself up after John leaves, something that catches Carlos’s eye and not in a good way.

John grows some balls and comes to Carlos’s office and asks if he can hire Ana as a hostess at his restaurant. Carlos gives a resounding no and let’s John know that while he forgives John, that doesn’t mean that he wants to punch his lights out. When John says it would have been a bad idea for Ana to work for John after all since Gaby wouldn’t like it due to their history, Carlos slightly changes his tune. Gaby, of course, freaks out when Carlos tells her that he allowed for Ana to get the job, and Carlos gets the information that he wanted: Gaby still has feelings for John. He bases this on how she tried to freshen up after seeing John at the restaurant, which Gaby denies.

Later at the dinner date, Gaby arrives to John’s restaurant looking as if she just came from doing errands around the town: frumpy, tired, and funky. Carlos wonders what she is doing and Gaby is only trying to make a point, which is that during all those years when he was blind, poor, and knocked her up twice, she stood by him and if he has to still test her then there is some serious problems in Casa Solis. Carlos apologizes and begs for Gaby to spruce up. Later that night though after dinner, Gaby pulls out her portfolio and takes out some hidden photos of her and John together with a wistful sigh.


Susan vs. Angie or Suburbia vs. The Bronx

The main storyline this week was about Susan’s relentlessness of bring Danny Bolen to justice. It starts when Danny Bolen is released from questioning, since the police didn’t have anything on the kid. Bob, who is now Danny’s lawyer, explains to Susan that Danny is innocent until proven guilty, but Susan doesn’t want to hear this and goes on the warpath. She tells everyone she can about the injustice that Julie is being served. A neighbor tells of a time that they found someone who used to be an accountant for the Nazis and they trashed his yard until he left. Wow! Pat yourselves on the back for protecting your neighborhood from a Nazi accountant! Those suburbians sure know how to show those bad guys a thing or two…

Gag me. PLEASE!

Watching all of this with disdain is Mike, who tries to get Susan to stop spreading rumors, because that’s basically what they are. And by Mike having been on the other side of that fence, twice mind you, you would think Susan would wise up.

But this is Susan Mayer-Delfino we are talking about here.

Susan then does a stakeout of the Delfino house and even when Lynette brings up Porter’s incident from last season and how everyone was dead set on Porter being the culprit when he wasn’t, Susan is still not in attendance brain wise.

Then Susan really crosses the line when she tries to lower a car that Danny is working on to get him to confess. This is when Angie comes out the house wielding a baseball bat ready to beat the hell out of Susan, which a part of me wanted Angie to do. This foolishness has got to stop!

Later that night, Angie tells Danny about the barrage of weapons in the house that he could get to if things get too tough. She then apologizes for everything she and Nick have had to drag him through.

Meanwhile, Mike comes from Bob’s place with news that the police have evidence of Danny not being involved with Julie’s attack. Of course Susan looks like an idiot, but looks even more dimwitted when she awakes to the unsightly vision of the Bolens’yard covered in trash and a message of ‘LEAVE!’spray-painted on the front of their house. Courtesy of the Team Suburbia, of course.

Susan silently approaches Angie and helps pick up the garbage and I think the visual says enough.

This is the America we live in, people.

Other Thoughts:

As much as I am against the Nazi Movement, that doesn’t give the neighbors’incentive to take matters in their own hand for something the country dealt with over half a century ago. If having vigilante neighbors with no tact or a sense of letting heresay dictate their process of thinking is the cost of having a white picket fence and a yard, then I don’t know if I want a part of it. Just saying…

I really don’t know about this return of John Rowland storyline. Gaby and Carlos have been through the wringer with a roundtrip through Hell and back. Throwing infidelity at them again will make all the past couple of seasons a waste of my time. Let John go with Ana and have them whine about that since John is way older than Ana. Don’t mess with Caby.

Also we found out that the “Bolen” is a cover up name for Angie and her family. Could they be on the run from the feds or something else sinister?

See ya next week. Although, you might will want to come to Wisteria Lane from now on strapped with something.

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