The Urinals of the Justice League is something you would have to see to believe. And now that I’ve seen it I really don’t want to believe that someone put this much thought into something like this. I’ll give it this much, it’s creative, but I really didn’t want to know how DC superheroes relieved themselves and what kind of hangups a few of them might have when it comes to answering the call of nature. You notice though that Wonder Woman’s choice of bathroom fixtures isn’t in here? Was it not PC at the time this was made or did people figure that no one cared? I won’t go into any ideas since Kerry Callen didn’t come up with them first but it seems odd to think that such a thing would be excluded. Oh wait, right, it’s urinals, not just toilets in general. But still, they did bring in a toilet for the Atom, so what gives? But then again you don’t happen to see anything pertaining to Green Lantern or several other Justice League members.
So it seems like the idea is that if Superman was to relieve himself, and it’s inevitable no matter what since he is a flesh and blood being, his emissions, a kind way to put it, would be so powerful that they might break a regular urinal. The scratches and dents in the titanium urinal shown seem to indicate as much. The tiny red sun generator would also be there to help apparently since it renders Superman vulnerable in a couple of different ways. That must be rough if you have to be careful where you for fear of tunneling into the earth just by peeing. I’d hate to see him after tamale night.
Martian Manhunter’s almost looks like one of those Bop-It toys that you see in the store. Twist one end, bop another, shake another, and so on. The Flash’s looks like it would be a bit of an effort to even hit the side let alone the rim or the bowl, at least for a normal person. And Batman’s, huh boy, where do I start? Not only is it shaped like a bat, creepy, but it has Joker’s face in a very strange and ultimately meaningful location. I wonder if the Joker would get a laugh out of that or if he would trade his customary grin for a rarely seen frown.
Aquaman’s makes a lot more sense than any of them but it’s still kind of gross to think about despite the fact that it’s more natural than anything. Think about that for a moment. Any time you go for a swim or a dip in a lake, a river, or the ocean, any given moment you could be swimming in a current that’s got the leavings of some other creature floating along in it. Of course given the tides and river currents and even the movement of still water you should be safe. It’s just the thought that’s gross.
Comic via Kerry Callen