Accidents happen even to the most well-meaning folks out there, so in any relationship, it’s good to extend a bit of grace. However, how someone reacts to an accident is sometimes just as important as why it happened in the first place.
A woman asked the internet if she overreacted when she woke to find her boyfriend had quite literally wet the bed. While she acknowledged that accidents happen, she was upset that he seemed ok to just leave it as is until the morning. We reached out to the girlfriend in the story via private message and will update the article when she gets back to us.
Waking up to a wet bed is nearly never good
Image credits: Freepik (not the actual photo)
But one woman was unpleasantly surprised when her BF wet the bed and then insisted that it could wait
Image credits: user7003113/Freepik (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Hour-Possibility2219
It’s important to balance fixing the immediate concerns with positive communication
Image credits: seventyfourimages/Envato (not the actual photo)
Relationship mishaps do happen, and sometimes they happen in the bedroom, literally. You will wake up in the dead of night to a hot, unpleasant surprise and discover that your boyfriend has bedwetted. In that instant, it is so tempting to gasp, sit up with a jolt, and start asking him a million questions, but the very most important thing to remember is that this is a relationship, not a crime scene. Chances are, he’s already cringing internally, wishing he could beam himself to another nation, so your job for the next few minutes is not to grill him but to prevent both the bed and the relationship from sinking beneath a tide of embarrassment.
The first thing to do is to be pragmatic. Get out the sheets pronto, do it like a midnight road-stop, not a grand drama production. Towels are a lifesaver if you can’t deal with all of this right now, and if you were a genius to have put on the mattress protector, you’ll thank your old self silently for such brilliance. Don’t draw out the dramatic sighs, over-the-top actions, or passive-aggressive comments. Your energy is what sets the tone, and if you react as though this is an apocalypse, he will catch that in a heartbeat.
Humor can be a great pressure valve, if you’re both laughing. If he’s white-lipped, mumbling apologies, and refusing eye contact, the moment is not to joke, “Wow, I didn’t know I was dating a golden retriever.” The humor out of turn can congeal embarrassment into shame. But if you catch him already starting to laugh nervously, a light, teasing comment can flip the moment from humiliating to sort of absurd. Timing is everything here.
Sometimes it’s also important to not bruise an already-bruised ego
Image credits: simonapilolla/Envato (not the actual photo)
Embarrassment is a powerful feeling in a moment like this. Bedwetting taps into a whole web of childhood memories, cultural taboo, and fear of judgment. He may be afraid that you’ll view him as less grown-up, less sexy, or less capable. In the moment, this embarrassment can make communication clumsy, he might over-apologize, insist it’s “no big deal,” try to pretend it didn’t happen, or even get defensive if he feels like you’re making a production out of it. Individuals will shut down or blow up when they feel threatened, so the best way to maintain open communication is to remain calm, talk softly, and aim for the immediate goal of cleaning up, not the why.
After stripping the sheets and remaking the bed (or having moved to the couch with a blanket and sense of solidarity), reassure. It could be no more than, “It’s okay. It happens,” or, “I’m not thinking worse of you.” A gesture of compassion in the instant can do more to deepen the relationship than a series of love tokens during more favorable times. Your response to this small but vulnerable moment sends a clear, lasting message about how safe it is to fail at being perfect with you.
Later, once you’ve both slept and had coffee, you can gently explore whether this was a one-off fluke caused by too much late-night beer or deep sleep, or whether it’s something that’s been happening before. If it’s recurring, a doctor’s visit might be the right call, but that’s a conversation for daylight, not 3 a.m. In the long run, these are the times that will even make a relationship stronger. If you’re able to sleep in the same bed after it’s been peed on, you’ve demonstrated that you’re able to handle the messy aspects of life, the ones that aren’t Instagram-worthy or romantic comedy good, with this person. It’s not the kind of story you think you’re going to tell when you imagine building a life with somebody, but it might be the one that says the most about the type of partner you are.
Most readers thought she was being reasonable
A few though she did overreact
Later she shared an update
Image credits: New Africa/Freepik (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Ambreen/Freepik (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Hour-Possibility2219
Commenters gave their thoughts
A few thought she was still to blame for the argument
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