The Amazing Race 18.02 “I Never Looked So Foolish In My Entire Life” Review

What do you get when you combine kangaroo outfits, moon shoes, paint spitting, green bunnies, fancy dancing, steakhouses, cranky dads, injured dads, magpies, ground mosaics, and an awful sense of direction?

Why, you have a pretty solid second episode of The Amazing Race: Unfinished Business. Duh.

Tonight was the second half of the first leg of the race and it was surprisingly entertaining. Any two part episode, whether it be reality or drama, tends to have parts that drag and while this wasn’t the most exciting episode in the history of the show, I was into it from start to finish.

The main thing to take from “I Never Looked So Foolish In My Entire Life” is that the race can change over the most minute thing (sort of the theme for this season, really); in this case, it was finding an anchor beside town hall in Sydney with the inscription “To Sail to Stop”. One would think the first that you would do is go to an information center or find an internet cafe, so I was a little confused as to why some of the racers insisted on hounding the passersby on the street. Yes, it’s faster, but it’s also riskier, as Gary and Mallory lost their lead and then some thanks to running around aimlessly. You can be a strong racer, but stuff like that comes down to luck (you never know who you’ll pass) and common sense (if it’s not working, try something else), two major elements that have sunk even the most promising of teams. That’s also why Jet and Cord are so good. After finally getting the flag puzzle correct on their 3rd or 4th shown attempt, the Cowboys motored through the rest of the leg, using their quickness and intelligence to take advantage of an equalizing plane ride. Now that they’ve sunk their teeth into the race, I think the Cowboys will be one of the last few teams standing.

The first detour of the season put the racers in a spiritual world vs. natural world dilemma, as both involved Aboriginal customs that have survived our increasingly modernized world. Every team chose spiritual world, which involved copying an already completed ground mosaic made of rocks and dancing over it. I found it funny that when Amanda and Kris were forced to do their U-Turn, the natural world challenge (something that included paint spitting and creating 4 images) seemingly took a fraction of the time and they were able to put the heat on an increasingly disjointed Ron and Christina. I often have problems with the Domineering Dads of the race, but Ron doesn’t rub me nearly as raw as other teams on the race, mostly because he’s self-aware enough to know when he’s being a jackass (and that he should stop it) and he’s never been vindictive to his daughter. Grouchy and overbearing, yes, but he seems to save his venom for other teams.

The most fun of the night, though, was the ridiculous kangaroo challenge. After making it to a local stadium, the racers had to change into a kangaroo suit and bouncy shoes. They were equipped with a copy of the periodic table with two elements (mercury and bismuth) highlighted, as Mercury and Bismuth are two bisecting streets that had the final clue box before the pit stop at an old silver mine. Between Margie losing a foot, Jet/Cord bounding ahead, and Mallory’s cheesy puns, it was a mess and a half, but it made for good television nonetheless. Ill-fated Amanda and Kris just never stood a chance, though, after shooting themselves in the foot from the start of the race. They fought hard and I thought they had just enough will to be able to make it ahead of Ron and Christina, but chalk that one up to some good editing.

Were you hoppy with tonight’s episode? Which team do you think will roo-le next week? Kan-ga I stop making kangaroo puns?

Running Order:
1. Zev & Justin (prize: trip to Cancun)
2. Flight Time & Big Easy
3. Jet & Cord
4. Kisha & Jen
5. Margie & Luke
6. Mel & Mike
7. Kent & Vyxsin
8. Jaime & Cara
9. Gary & Mallory
10. Ron & Christina
11. Amanda & Kris

Grade: B+
Favorite Quotes:
“Vyxsin, please get me children!”
“I don’t know, you watch way more Discovery Channel than I do”
“I’m just glad I don’t have to carry Zev in my pouch…yet.”
“He’s very artistic.” “And autistic.”
“We’re in the outback. There’s not a lot of steakhouses.”
“A kangaroo could go faster than your driving, Kisha.”
“Son of a buck, man.”
“Ow! I just slammed my tail in the door!”
“Can you start gathering our stuff?” “I can’t, I have a kangaroo suit on.”
“BI. What’s that, bitinium?” “Bismuth.” “Business?” “UGH.”
“I’m just so hoppy to be here.”
“Give us good news, Bill.”

Other Stuff I Liked: Mike’s I Like Turtles shirt, Christina and Ron conversing in Chinese, Ron’s obvious disdain for Mallory (I like Mal, but it was funny), Kisha & Jen going into the men’s lockerroom, Jaime saying she dresses as a green bunny (is Jaime a furry and nobody told me?), the shot of “Animal Control” amidst the final scramble to the finish line
Stuff I Didn’t Like: Zev/Justin in Globetrotters gear (ugh), Mel’s worsening health (the guy’s all heart and it was nice to see other racers concerned for him)
Next Week: The race heads to Tokyo, where the racers have to deal with mud, water, and car accidents.

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