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I recently read a story shared by another member, and it inspired me to share my own experience, as it felt somewhat similar. Sorry in advance – this is going to be long, but I really need an outside perspective.
I (32M) moved abroad about a year ago. My girlfriend (30F) and I had been together for almost five years, and we shared a rescue dog, Gus.
We’d both been struggling financially in our home country, and I got the chance to move abroad for better work opportunities. The plan was: I’d go first, get settled, find a job, save up, and then she’d come join me with Gus once things were stable. She agreed completely and promised she’d look after him while I got everything sorted.
Those first few months were rough. I started from scratch – new language, no friends, no family, no support network.
Luckily, I found a job within two weeks and threw myself into work
Image credits: Saulo Mohana (not the actual photo)
I didn’t go out much, but I tried to make a few friends just to keep sane.
Meanwhile, my girlfriend’s messages were getting shorter and colder. Whenever we talked, she sounded annoyed or distant. She’d say she “missed me,” but never really asked how I was doing. I figured it was just the stress of distance – long-distance relationships are hard, right? I kept telling myself, “I’m doing all this for us.”
After six months, I finally managed to rent a small cottage that allowed dogs– a nightmare to find in this city
Image credits: Valerie (not the actual photo)
I was proud and excited. I arranged her flight and even booked professional pet transport for Gus. Everything was ready for our fresh start.
When she arrived… it wasn’t the reunion I imagined. She was polite but distant, almost like a guest. I thought maybe we just needed time to reconnect. But instead of settling in, she started going out – a lot. Clubbing, meeting new people, spending money she didn’t have.
I gently tried to talk to her about finding a job or helping with bills, but she brushed it off.
After a month, I finally gave her an ultimatum: either we start working on things, or we admit it’s over.
She didn’t hesitate – she just said, “Maybe it’s time we stop pretending this is working,” and left the next day
Image credits: Christian Lue (not the actual photo)
She moved into a shared flat elsewhere in the city and blocked me on social media.
That left me alone with Gus.
Gus is an amazing dog – affectionate, playful, and loyal – but he has severe separation anxiety
Image credits: Samuel Yongbo Kwon (not the actual photo)
Back home, he was rarely alone because my girlfriend worked from home. I, on the other hand, work full-time and can’t bring him to the office.
At first, I tried to make it work: rushing home on breaks, hiring dog walkers, asking my boss if I could work part-time. I even tried leaving him with friends occasionally. But it wasn’t enough. Gus barked all day, destroyed furniture, and my neighbors started complaining. I got two written warnings from my landlord.
The stress was eating me alive. I could see Gus was miserable – shaking when I grabbed my keys, whining non-stop. It broke my heart to watch him suffer, and I felt trapped.
After a lot of crying and guilt, I started looking for a new home for him – not just anyone, but the right one
Image credits: Chris Riggs (not the actual photo)
I joined Facebook groups, called shelters, and interviewed potential adopters. Finally, I found a woman back in our home country who already had a friendly golden retriever. She even offered to fly out, spend a few days with Gus and me, and make sure they bonded.
When she came, Gus adored her instantly
Image credits: Samuel Yongbo Kwon (not the actual photo)
They connected right away. It felt like fate, but also like betrayal.
After signing all the adoption papers and arranging his travel, I sent Gus off with his new owner. Watching him leave was one of the hardest things I’ve ever done.
He’s doing great now – they send me updates, pictures of him at the park, sleeping on the couch, happy again. I know I did the right thing for him. But every night, I still feel like I failed him.
I just don’t know if I did the right thing — would love some perspective.
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