I had an odd dream last night, which might be what’s responsible for this post, but whatever, I’m rolling with it. What if you rubbed your old cable box and a genie came out of it? He says he can grant you three TV related wishes if you so choose. What would you pick? I have a trio of ideas of my own, and you can read them below. I think I could singlehandedly make TV much better if granted my wishes. See if you agree:
1. Banish TV Packages, Order on a Show by Show Basis
I’ve long complained about the fact that in order to get most of the shows you want to watch on TV, you have to suffer through paying for tons of channels and programming you will never, ever watch or care about. The solution is to perhaps pay by the channel, but I don’t think that goes far enough. Sure, I could subscribe to AMC and have access to Breaking Bad, Mad Men and The Walking Dead. But the three shows are rarely on at the same time, and so I’d still be paying for 167 hours of programming a week that I’m not watching. At best, it would be 165. So in this case, I’d ask for it to be possible to simply pay per show. You could simply go down a list of your favorite programs and get a “season pass” to each. I realize that some shows do this already. You can watch some online or get season on iTunes, but it’s either A) after they air or B) you must have a cable package anyway for access or C) it’s still crazy expensive. But pay per program where you could have access to it as it’s airing live would be something I would relish.
2. Ban Reality TV
There’s perhaps no great corrupting influence on TV right now than reality TV. It’s all but decimated our major networks, as stupid, same-y competition shows have taken over our airwaves. It’s completely destroyed “educational” channels like TLC and Discovery and even History, and some of the worst examples of the genre air there. Eliminating reality TV would be no great loss for television, and instead open the doors for more creative, original programming like the kind only pay or cable channels are willing to air these days. Back when it was just Real World and American Idol and Survivor, things weren’t so bad, but the success of those shows has caused TV to devolve into lowest common denominator programming, and it’s hurt the medium as a whole.
3. Resurrect Firefly
I’d ask the genie to resurrect a bunch of different shows, but he’d tell me that that would cost multiple wishes, and I could only pick one. And if I did only have to pick one? Normally I would have said Arrested Development in a second, but a miracle happened and that show actually IS coming back to TV. So, what’s my second choice? That would be Joss Whedon’s Firefly, of course. Never has a show with more potential been given the shaft, and I don’t care if I would have to cancel Homeland and Castle just to get everyone back together. It would be worth it. If given the chance, Firefly could have been the next Star Wars or Star Trek. Hell, it almost still is with its devoted fanbase, even though it only had 2/3rds of a season and a movie with it. I’d say ten solid seasons would work for me, airing on HBO, not FOX of course.
What would your three wishes be?
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1) Right there with you on “Firefly”. While I’m fairly certain FOX is tired of hearing about what a mistake it was to cancel it, such a colossal error in judgment needs to be pointed out again and again, lest they forget. Bring it back already.
2) Ban commercials from cable TV altogether. If people are paying for a service, they should have the option to avoid distractions.
3) Ban evening news broadcasts on public television from accepting ad revenue from anyone. News should involve five things: who, what, where, when, and how. Skip the why.
I agree with all your suggestions. Although, I would add an option to countermand the cancelling of future shows as well. Many shows get the shaft from the networks because they aren’t as profitable as they would like (Last Resort comes to mind). Give us the option to veto a show’s cancellation.