Christmas is coming, and with it, many people have already begun their holiday shopping. This year won’t be so different from 2024, as Americans plan to spend an average of $1,007 on gifts. Some folks are even sharing their holiday gift hauls online, but one particular woman got more attention than most.
Just a few days ago, user @theresaontheclock shared a video showing the presents for her 12-year-old daughter under the Christmas tree. Yet, the video rubbed a lot of people the wrong way because of how many items the child was getting. Hence, a discussion broke out in the comments about overconsumption and spoiling children with gifts, as the commenters divided into two camps.
Many parents spend the majority of their Christmas budget on gifts for their kids
Image credits: cottonbro studio / Pexels (not the actual photo)
This family with their three kids has always celebrated Christmas in a big way
Image credits: theresaontheclock
But recently, the mom went viral for sharing what she planned to put for her 12-year-old daughter under the Christmas tree
Image credits: theresaontheclock
Over a million people watched her video, and many had strong opinions
Over-gifting can lead to children becoming entitled and overly materialistic
There are few things as magical as waking up on Christmas morning to open presents together with your siblings and family members. Even as adults, it’s probably the part of the holidays that most of us remember and look forward to the most.
The commenters who sided with the mom were right: nobody can tell a parent what to gift or not to gift to their children. Similarly, no one can tell a person how much they’re allowed to splurge on themselves. And yet, those who raised concerns made a good point, too: there is such a thing as over-gifting, especially when it comes to children.
On average, American parents spend about $461 on Christmas presents per child. When it comes to the quantity of gifts, the majority (51.4%) buy their children around two or three gifts. 4.2% of American parents say they give their kids 10 or more presents each. Another 2022 study found that parents spend around $220, and the highest budgets are for kids aged 7 to 12.
However, Mark Joseph, the founder of the parental advisor Parental Queries, explains that over-gifting might lead children to develop a sense of entitlement and a lack of appreciation. “Overgifting can be a real issue. It may lead to children becoming overly materialistic and expecting too much from gift-giving occasions.”
Some parents implement the “X gift rule”
To make the decision of how many presents are just the right amount, some parents implement certain rules for Christmas gifts. There are several models; for example, the “7 gift rule.” It includes something you want, something you need, something to wear, something to read, something to do, something for me, and something for the family.
If that seems like too many, parent educator at The Parenting Center at Children’s Hospital New Orleans, Lisa Phillips, MSW, LMSW, suggests the “4 gift rule” that has been making the rounds on social media since 2022. Choose gifts from the first four categories: something they want, something they need, something to wear, and something to read.
“There’s no clear cut answer to this question [of how many gifts], but many parents worry about overindulgence during the holidays,” Phillips added. For pre-teens aged around 12 to 13, experts recommend focusing more on gifting experiences where children can spend time together with friends and family. That includes tickets to a sports game, a museum, or a concert.
Some parents may not be able to afford heaps of Christmas presents
It seems like parents can never win. If they shower their kids with love by getting them many presents, they’re bad parents. If they only give them one or two, they’re accused of being Scrooges who hate their children.
Maggie Dent, Australian author on parenting and education, sympathizes with parents. “We now live in a very consumerist society and parents and kids are heavily marketed to.” Christmas, according to her, is “the perfect time to teach children and teens the joy that comes from giving to others. So maybe get them involved in baking or making something special for neighbours or others in your community, especially people in need.”
Indeed, not every parent is able to provide their kids with 10 or more presents. “Consider your personal values and be realistic about what you can afford,” educational psychologist Elanna Yalow, Ph.D., says. “Make a list with your child about what they want and prioritize it based on your child’s interest—and your judgment.”
Some called her out for the excess: “A child doesn’t need this much stuff!”
Others defended her: “I would’ve absolutely loved this when I was 12”
In another video, the mom also shared what she got her 17-year-old daughter
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