Funny or Die is out to fool a lot of people it seems and it’s managed to entertain a lot as well. The Gobstopper trailer might have made a lot of folks think that Christopher Lloyd has gone around the bend in this horrifying version of Willy Wonka gone extremely dark. It’s almost like a version of Hostel meets Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. Seriously, even the the obnoxious guy talking about his hard-on is pure horror schlock. There’s always the group that’s going out somewhere for a camping trip or a vacation or something, and the majority of them are fairly normal and get along just fine, but there’s always that one goofy jerk that just has to be the center of attention, or else just stands out from everyone for one reason or another.
This time though you’d think that he’d be the first to go, or at least the second since he’s just that annoying when he’s trying to match his manhood up to anything that’s being said. Really, using his hard-on and candy bars in the same sentence? That’s a guy that in any horror movie is just begging to die by being so openly moronic. But the rest of the trailer looks pretty legit for the most part, and getting Lloyd was an awesome touch as it gives the entire trailer a little more veracity and could possibly grant it the push that it would need in order to attract someone that might want to fund it. If this didn’t get made into a movie, ever, it would be a shame since the original Willy Wonka movie had its disturbing moments and the remake certainly had its fair share of moments in which people were raising their eyebrows. This would be justification for all of that in one movie and with a twist on a classic that would be eye candy for horror fans.
Having the guy that was supposed to be the mole trying to get Charlie to reveal Wonka’s secrets strung up as the teens enter is a nice touch, and the Oompa Loompa’s seeming to be either zombies or cannibals is even better. Imagine what Willy Wonka’s factory would be like if it was a maze of horrors instead of a world of imagination. Scratch that, it would still be a world of imagination, but the horrors realized within the factory would likely be so great that it would blow the minds of audiences everywhere. The spoof that was played of Willy Wonka by Crispin Glover would be utterly forgotten after this movie and the dark side of the candy business would perhaps live on for just long enough that people could enjoy it for at least a generation or two. It might be traumatizing in a way but a lot of good horror is really.
So to reiterate, this isn’t a movie that’s coming out, more’s the pity, but perhaps if enough people see it and comment on it there could be a chance we’d see it in theaters or at least released straight to DVD.
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