If you’re into some classic jokes, then we do have a selection for you! Reading this list with your mother might not be the best idea (unless she’s an absolute menace and has some legendary-tier yo-mama jokes up her sleeve.) Yet, there are a lot of occasions when they will count as adult-only jokes, so tread carefully. However, if you have friends you know will love these, crack away!
While some people won’t find yo-mama jokes funny, there is also a group of people who crave some stomach-twirling two-liners. It’s hard to adapt these short jokes in a casual conversation. But if you do, it often turns into a competition to see who has the absolute best yo-mama jokes.
Some of these lines can be offensive but as is with taste, there can be a lot of opinions about it. So keep your mind open and remember, these are just funny jokes meant to pull your moods up, not down.
Dig in and prepare for this collection of the best yo-mama roasts on the planet. Vote for your favorites, expand your arsenal, and show your friends the winning roasts on the globe!
#1 Yo Mama Jokes So Savage, Even She’d Laugh
Yo mama’s so fat, Thanos had to clap.
#2
Yo mama’s so fat, when God said, “Let there be light,” he asked her to move out of the way.
#3
Yo mama’s so stupid when they said it was chilly outside, she grabbed a bowl.
#4
Yo mama’s so old, she walked out of a museum and the alarm went off.
#5
Yo mama’s so stupid, when I said, “Drinks on the house,” she got a ladder.
#6
Yo mama’s so fat, she stepped on a scale and it said: “To be continued.”
#7
Yo mama’s so old, she knew Burger King when he was a prince.
#8
Yo mama’s so dumb, she trips over the wireless internet.
#9
Yo mama’s so ugly, she walked into a Haunted House and walked back out with a job application.
#10
Yo mama’s so short, you can see her feet on her driver’s license.
#11
Yo mama’s so fat, when she walked past the TV, I missed three episodes.
#12
Yo mama’s so stupid, she climbed over a glass wall to see what was on the other side.
#13
Yo mama’s so old, she was a waitress at the Last Supper.
#14
Yo mama’s so ugly, even Hello Kitty said goodbye.
#15
Yo mama’s so fat she takes selfies in panoramic mode.
#16
Yo mama’s so poor, she chases the garbage truck with a grocery list.
#17
Yo mama’s so stupid, she put lipstick on her forehead to make up her mind.
#18
Yo mama’s so fat, she was overthrown by a small militia group, and now she’s known as the Republic of Yo Mama.
#19
Yo mama’s so fat, when she fell I didn’t laugh, but the sidewalk cracked up.
#20
Yo mama’s so fat, the last time she wore a Red Cross t-shirt, a helicopter tried to land in her.
#21
Yo mama’s so old, her social security number is one.
#22 Clever Yo Mama Jokes With A Modern Twist
Yo mama’s so fat, if she buys a fur coat, a whole species will become extinct.
#23
Yo mama’s so stupid, she returned a doughnut because it had a hole in it.
#24
Yo mama’s so fat, a vampire sucked her blood and got diabetes.
#25
Yo mama’s so fat, she goes to the car wash to take showers.
#26
Yo mama’s so dumb, it takes her an hour to cook minute rice.
#27
Yo mama’s so old, her driver’s license got hieroglyphics on it.
#28
Yo mama’s so old, her birth certificate says expired on it.
#29
Yo mama’s so fat she had to have her baptism at sea world.
#30
Yo mama’s so short she can backflip under the bed.
#31 Classic Yo Mama Jokes That Still Hit Hard
Yo mama’s so old that when she was in school, there was no history class.
#32
Yo mama’s armpits are so hairy, it looks like she’s got Buckwheat in a headlock.
#33
Yo mama’s so stupid, she got hit by a parked car.
#34
Yo mama’s so fat, when she goes camping, the bears hide their food.
#35
Yo mama’s so fat, she uses Google Earth to take a selfie.
#36
Yo mama’s so ugly, when your dad drops her off for work, he gets a fine for littering.
#37
Yo mama’s so dumb, she got fired from the M & M factory for throwing away all the W’s.
#38
Yo mama’s so fat, she’s on both sides of the family.
#39
Yo mama so scary, the government moved Halloween to her birthday.
#40
Yo mama so big, her belt size is “equator.”
#41 Timeless Yo Mama Jokes You Probably Heard In 5th Grade
Yo mama’s so poor, the ducks throw bread at her.
#42
Yo mama’s so dumb, when she heard about cookies on the Internet, she ate her computer.
#43
Yo mama’s so ugly, she turned Medusa to stone.
#44
Yo mama’s so stupid, she studied for a Covid test.
#45
Yo mama’s teeth are so yellow when she smiles at traffic, it slows down.
#46 Yo Mama Jokes That Are Funnier Than They Should Be
Yo mama’s so stupid, she put airbags on her computer in case it crashed.
#47
Yo mama’s so stupid, she took a ruler to bed to see how long she slept.
#48
Yo mama’s so stupid, she went to the dentist to get a Bluetooth.
#49
Yo mama’s so stupid when thieves broke into her house and stole the TV, she chased after them shouting “Wait, you forgot the remote!”
#50
Yo mama’s so stupid, she thought a quarterback was a refund.
#51 Hilarious Yo Mama Jokes You’ll Regret Saying Out Loud
Yo mama’s so stupid, when they said, “Order in the court,” she asked for fries and a shake.
#52
Yo mama’s so stupid, she stared at a cup of orange juice for 12 hours because it said “concentrate.”
#53
Yo mama’s so fat, she brought a spoon to the Super Bowl.
#54
Yo mama’s so fat, if she was a Star Wars character, her name would be Admiral Snackbar.
#55
Yo mama’s so fat, she can’t even jump to a conclusion.
#56
Yo mama’s so fat, when she sits around the house, she SITS AROUND the house.
#57
Yo mama’s so dumb, she put a watch in a piggybank and said she was saving time.
#58
Yo mama’s so lazy she woke up from a coma and went to sleep.
#59
Yo mama’s so dumb, she failed a survey.
#60
Yo mama’s so fat, when she got hit by a bus she asked, “Who threw that rock?”
#61
Yo mama’s glasses are so thick, when she looks at a map, she can see people waving at her.
#62
Yo mama’s so bald, you can see what’s on her mind.
#63
Yo mama’s so stupid, I told her Christmas was right around the corner – and she looked.
#64
Yo mama’s so fat that when she was in school she sat next to everybody.
#65
Yo mama’s so depressing, blues singers come to visit her when they’ve got writer’s block.
#66
Yo mama’s so stupid, it takes her two hours to watch 60 Minutes.
#67
Yo mama’s so fat, I swerved to miss her and my car and ran out of gas.
#68
Yo mama’s house is so small that when she orders a large pizza, she has to go outside to eat it.
#69
Yo mama’s so stupid, she got locked in the grocery store and starved to death.
#70
Yo mama’s so fat, when she wears high heels, she strikes oil.
#71
Yo mama’s so big, when she talks to herself it’s a long-distance call.
#72
Yo mama’s so fat, she doesn’t have a circumference. She has an event horizon.
#73
Yo mama’s so fat, the sorting hat put her in the house of pancakes.
#74
Yo mama’s so ugly, her portraits hang themselves.
#75
Yo mama’s so stupid, when I told her that she lost her mind, she went looking for it.
#76
Yo mama’s so fat, she wakes up on both sides of the bed.
#77
Yo mama’s so ugly, when she looks in the mirror, her reflection ducks.
#78 Warning: These Yo Mama Jokes May Cause Sudden Silence
Yo mama’s so fat, if she got her shoes shined, she’d have to take his word for it.
#79
Yo mama’s so fat, when she takes a shower, her feet don’t get wet.
#80
Yo mama’s so lazy, she stuck her nose out the window and let the wind blow it.
#81
Yo mama so short, she went to see Santa and he told her to get back to work.
#82
Yo mama’s so dumb, when the doctor told her she had coronavirus, she bought a new laptop.
#83
Yo mama’s so fat, she fell in love and broke it.
#84
Yo mama’s so fat, when she crossed the road people mistook her for a roundabout.
#85
Yo mama’s so old, she walked into an antique store, and they didn’t let her leave.
#86
Yo mama’s so sweet she takes her coffee without sugar.
#87
Yo mama’s so ugly, when she was little, she had to trick-or-treat by phone.
#88
Yo mama’s so lazy, she has a stay-at-home job and still is late to work.
#89
Yo mama’s so stupid, she sold the house to pay the mortgage.
#90
Yo mama’s so fat, she gets group insurance.
#91
Yo mama’s so fat, she keeps quarters in one pocket and yen in the other!
#92
Yo mama’s so nice… she works 3 jobs and still makes time for you.
#93
Your mama’s so fat, on a scale from one to ten, she’s a 747.
#94
Yo mama’s so fat, every time she goes to the beach the tide comes in!
#95
Yo mama’s so protective, she covered you in Band-Aids before you got the boo-boos.
#96
Yo mama’s so poor, Nigerian princes wire her money.
#97
Yo mama’s so fat, it took me two buses and a train to get to her good side.
#98
Yo mama’s so dumb, she put sugar on the bed because she wanted sweet dreams.
#99
Yo mama’s so ugly, when she walks into the dentist, they make her lay face down.
#100
Yo mama’s so classless, she’s a Marxist utopia.
#101 The Best Yo Mama Jokes To Stun Your Friends
Yo mama’s so poor, she can’t even afford to pay attention.
#102
Yo mama’s so dumb, she went to the library to find Facebook.
#103
Yo mama’s so chatty, she gave a eulogy at her own funeral.
#104
Yo mama’s head so big, she dreams in IMAX.
#105
Yo mama’s so fat she has to put her belt on with a boomerang.
#106
Yo mama’s so fat that the probability of her being in any arbitrary point in space is 1.
#107
Yo mama’s so fat, her blood type is Ragu.
#108
Yo mama’s so ugly, she could scare the chrome off a bumper.
#109
Yo mama so dumb, she went to the eye doctor to get an iPhone.
#110
Yo mama’s teeth so yellow, I can’t believe it’s not butter.
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