Sometimes, the things that you think are completely all right to say and do are far from okay. In fact, they might be so deep in creepy territory, it’s making people feel uncomfortable and even threatened.
A viral thread by redditor SuperElectronicGray inspired women to open up about all the things that men do that they think is perfectly fine but are actually very creepy. Most of these things are a symptom of toxic masculinity where men follow a very narrow, predetermined set of instructions about how males are “supposed to” behave. And it’s not good for anyone.
Have a read through the uncomfortable situations with men that these redditors have been through and be sure to check out Bored Panda’s interview with a psychotherapist about the potential dangers of toxic masculinity to society and to men themselves.
#1
Flirting with me in a position where I can’t leave, like an Uber or taxi. Once I had an Uber driver flirt with me the entire ride late on a Friday night. I tried to stop responding, but he kept telling me how beautiful I am. Most times, when women aren’t interested and you keep pushing it, we get scared we’re gonna get assaulted or killed! It’s terrifying.
Image source: Armacdonald94, jaғar ѕнaмeeм
#2
Taking common politeness as romantic interest
Image source: It_Is_Me_The_E, sbk202
#3
That hassling you for a date because you don’t have a bf is not okay.
‘But you don’t have a bf…’
The point is dude, I’d rather be single than date you. Take the bloody hint.
Image source: ukhoneybee, Teresa Nobre
#4
I am an elderly woman and it really really pisses me off when men that I don’t know call me “Sweetie” or “Honey” or “Sweetheart.” Dudes. Just don’t. I am not your grandma with a dish of cookies for you.
Image source: NoBSforGma, fra93
#5
When they tell me to smile. It used to make me really uncomfortable, but now I just grin manically at them.
Image source: Reddit, alisdair
#6
hi i know my comment will get lost but if you are over 18 and i make it clear to you that i am underage, do not continue to talk to me. please.
Image source: langleyx, Pedro Ribeiro Simões
#7
Asking if I live alone. If there’s already an established friendship, fine. But if you’re a stranger or just an acquaintance, that freaks me out.
Image source: changingoftheseasons, Jennie
#8
Restricting my movement in any way. Pinning me in a corner, holding my wrist down, blocking my escape, etc…
Image source: Butdoesithavestars, Keira Burton
#9
DMs
Hey
Hey
Hey
I’m not interested
F**k you, you stupid b****.
Image source: Bikinigirlout, Startup Stock Photos
#10
Saying, ‘If I was x years younger… I was 15 and manning the cash register at my dad’s store when this guy told me I ‘brought back memories’ of the women he met while he served in Vietnam. And he kept looking me up and down with a slobbery look on his face.
Image source: tarantulawarfare, Polina Zimmerman
#11
If you keep going on about how much you respect women, you probably don’t respect women.
Image source: Lockshala, August de Richelieu
#12
Talking badly about their ex and their kids. I’m a single middle age woman. I don’t know what’s going on with some Men but a lot of them regret having kids and are mad about having to give money to their ex to raise them.
I’m not talking about unreasonable amount of money but for exemple 100$ for 2 kids at the beginning of a school year. And of course their ex is crazy for asking for it. “She’s the one who wanted kids..” Some have complained about having to spend time with them.
Why are they telling me this? We just met. It makes them seems so mean and cheap. If you don’t want kids get a vasectomy.
Image source: sonia72quebec, cottonbro
#13
Gay men who grope you and excuse it by saying, ‘It’s OK — I’m gay! I’m not attracted to women at all!’ Keep your f**king hands to yourself, then!
Image source: Ryanadjamila, Polina Zimmerman
#14
‘Daring’ me to kiss my girlfriend in front of them to ‘prove’ I’m really a lesbian. Disgusting.
Image source: ceresdaniela, Jeroen
#15
It has happened more than once where it came up in casual conversation that i don’t wan’t kids and some guy tries to change my mind as if it’s any of his business
Image source: Hunulven, Thirdman
#16
My wife had a boss that would come up behind the women and give them shoulder massages. Not cool, dude.
Image source: BuckingFutters78, joselosada
#17
Saying, ‘You’re cute when you’re angry.’
Image source: naughtydismutase, OSPAN ALI
#18
I have a large tattoo on my shoulder, and I’ve had several men come up from behind and move my tank top strap and/or bra strap to see it better. In grocery stores and Lowe’s of all places!
Image source: ookaminaku, InSapphoWeTrust
#19
Men in positions of power asking sexual questions or commenting on your body. I had one boss try to tell me if I did a certain work out it would help me lose some fat in my thighs and another casually ask me if I was quiet or a screamer. Yeah, that s**t ain’t cool.
Image source: AntiRaz, energepic.com
#20
FOLLOWING ME FOR ANY DISTANCE! I was once followed TWENTY BLOCKS by a man trying to basically get me to go home with him. Mind you, I had my HEADPHONES in to make it clear I wasn’t listening (although they were off, I just do it so most creeps don’t approach) but my goodness he didn’t let up. I never even looked at him the whole time he followed me. He didn’t leave till I finally spotted a police officer and started walking in that direction. I even asked to be left alone, had my pepper spray in hand visible.
Just kept calling me gorgeous, and asking if my boyfriend treated me right. Could he give me his number in case my BF did something bad? All ignored.
PSA: it’s not ROMANTIC OR ATTRACTIVE to be STALKED any distance no matter how much tv or movies would lie and have you believe.
Image source: Notyourmamashedgehog
#21
Following women around continuing to try to talk to them when they’ve already made two attempts to end the conversation.
A guy next to me on a plane wouldn’t stop talking to me, even after I put on headphones! Then, he tried to walk me to my connecting flight after I refused to give him my phone number. He only finally left when I went to the women’s restroom.
Image source: metky, raoul esmere
#22
I’ve got curly hair, and I’m sick of men thinking they can just come grab a coil of it and pull it like a slinky spring! Don’t touch my hair, and don’t call me moody when I tell you to stop!
Image source: weemuree, Rebecca Partington
#23
Stop telling me how ‘big’ things are for a woman. ‘That’s a big truck for a little girl,’ or even once when I was at Subway, this condescending prick said, ‘That’s a big sandwich…’
Image source: romanticia, dave_7
#24
Putting their hands on your thigh or back casually while talking to you. If I’m being friendly it’s not a signal for you to touch me. Far too many co-workers, creepy uncles, etc. find this ok!
Image source: LibraD_Va, makunin
#25
Unsolicited d*ck pics.
“Smile!”
“Where’s my hug?”
“You’re too beautiful for all that makeup.”
Yelling anything at me from across the street.
Telling me I’m perfect during our first conversation – back off dude, you don’t know me.
Image source: anonymice3, Free-Photos
#26
Catcalling. Like, WTF. In what world is someone gonna turn around and be appreciative instead of creeped the f**k out?
Image source: flyerflew, MichaelFollow
#27
Grabbing my wrists
It is a huge ultimate f**k no
Image source: Pengauno, Anete Lusina
#28
When guys pick me up. I’ve always been really skinny, so guys think it’s OK to just…lift me.
Image source: DidntWantSleepAnyway, Alexander Dummer
#29
Using my name on my credit card receipt at the gas station to look me up online and try to add me on various social media platforms shudder
Image source: reddit
#30
“Why aren’t you married?” Asked randomly. I’m 34. My fiancé passed
Image source: Missdanib, Eliott Reyna
#31
Block an exit while trying to start a conversation. Just.don’t do it EVER.
Image source: landho54
#32
I had a friend who for a while would always respond to my comments re: being a woman and sexually harassed or ogled at with the story of how he was such a good guy he saved a girl from being raped at a frat party.
I’m not sure if the exact scenario is common but when guys hear women talking about sexual harassment or assault and launch into the reasons why they’re not that guy…it just makes me even more uncomfortable because someone who isn’t that guy shouldn’t have to say it every time you talk about sexual harassment.
Image source: PandeanPanic
#33
Since I got pregnant I’ve had more male friends think it’s acceptable to call me a ‘MILF,’ especially at inappropriate times…like in front of my mom
Image source: ey_peetay, Tony Alter
#34
Saying anything along the lines of ‘you’re perfect’ within minutes of meeting.
Image source: YourTransJesus
#35
When you get messages like “hi hun 💕😘” in a business setting. I draw for a living and regularly get guys messaging me under the guise that they want to commission something, when it’s really just an excuse to get closer to me.
This will sound blunt and b*tchy, but I don’t want you. I want your money. You commissioning, or not? Alright stop wasting my time, thank you!
Image source: reddit
#36
Constantly pushing for a date after saying we aren’t interested. Like a high school boy having a crush and the girl saying “I just like you as a friend…” and they keep pushing like she’ll fall in love. Sorry that’s just a fairytale. Please stop after we say we don’t like you. No hard feelings! We just don’t want to date you.
Image source: thatboiii2468
#37
Don’t ask me for nudes within like…a week of meeting me and going on one date. The level of trust I’d have to have in order to share photos like that is phenomenal! And I may never ever want to anyway.
How does a guy think it’s just a casual thing to ask of me? It might be a turn on for you but it’s highly risky and it makes me feel like I’m just there as a bit of titillation on his phone and not a real human being who he sees as equal and respected.
Image source: CazzaLazarou
#38
When I am walking down the sidewalk, follow me slowly in a car while trying to talk to me. I f**king hate this.
Image source: terribleverything, Jaroslav A. Polák
#39
Messaging me late at night to tell me to ‘go to bed.’
Image source: niponew, Ivan Radic
#40
Asking, ‘Where’s my hug?’
Image source: Scrappy_Larue, Ricardo Moraleida
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