If you have friends who’ve done well professionally — doctors, accountants, lawyers — it’s not unusual to ask for the occasional tip.
But expecting them to fix all your problems can be a slippery slope.
Even the best professionals have limits, and constantly depending on someone for unpaid work can cause harm in friendships, and even threaten careers.
In an online post, a woman shared what happened when a friend and the friend’s boyfriend asked her for legal advice she wasn’t comfortable giving.
Perhaps not used to being told no, the couple had a full public meltdown at a dinner party and started sending threatening messages to her phone.
A lawyer was publicly humiliated by friends for refusing to give free legal advice
Image credits: chuemoonrin / envatoelements (not the actual photo)
She said no to them because it was risky for her career
Image credits: Mix-Tape / envatoelements (not the actual photo)
Image credits: wear-it-out / envatoelements (not the actual photo)
Her friends mocked her at a dinner party, using harsh and personal comments
Image credits: seventyfourimages / envatoelements (not the actual photo)
Image credits: lawyerforcrazies
Even casual legal advice to friends and family can be risky
Image credits: Pressmaster / envatoelements (not the actual photo)
Being a lawyer doesn’t mean knowing everything. Just like any other profession, law has so many specialties — such as family, criminal, corporate, real estate among others.
The American Bar Association warns lawyers to be cautious if they provide legal advice to friends and family, as it can create an attorney-client relationship and lead to ethical and legal risks.
Lawyers can even be sued if they accidentally give the wrong advice, even if it’s casual. It can also violate the professional conduct laid down by the bar association.
“It happens all the time and that’s not a debt you want to take on along with student loans,” Arizona attorney Lynda C Shely says.
The American Bar Association reports that four out of five lawyers will get sued for malpractice at some point in their career. It says that 70% of malpractice claims are filed against small firms that have one to five lawyers.
Being sued doesn’t always mean that the lawyers committed a crime, it can be due to missed deadlines, incorrect paperwork, or lack of experience. Many of these claims are also thrown out eventually — but not before putting a strain on the lawyers involved.
In this story, the woman had just started her career as a family lawyer but her friend wanted help with business issues related to her and her boyfriend’s company, which falls under corporate law — an area outside the woman’s expertise.
Given these statistics, it wasn’t out of line for this woman to be cautious as she understood the professional risks.
How lawyers can protect themselves and set boundaries
Image credits: katchanatsarin / envatoelements (not the actual photo)
“If their question is outside of your practice area or you just don’t want to take them on as a client or give legal advice at a party, direct them to appropriate, relevant resources,” says Alexandra Sumner, a privacy consultant.
She also says you can find a tactful way to tell them you can’t answer their question.
If a lawyer is sure they want to represent someone close to them, there are no laws stopping them, but they still need to follow the same rules as they would with any other official client.
Mark Stobbs, director of legal policy at the Law Society, lists some precautions that lawyers can take:
Entitlement in friendships isn’t harmless
Image credits: LightFieldStudios / envatoelements (not the actual photo)
While the woman decided to step back, the situation quickly turned into cautionary tale on entitlement.
The couple’s true colors were on full display when she said no — humiliating and making fun of her in front of all their friends.
“Entitlement can stem from deep insecurity, privilege, or learned behavior where someone believes rules don’t apply to them. Narcissistic individuals often view themselves as superior, justifying their disregard for norms as their right,” Tracy Malone, a relationship coach dealing with narcissism and entitlement, tells Bored Panda.
She says you should stay calm and avoid engaging emotionally with entitled people. “Set clear boundaries or disengage entirely if it feels unsafe. Entitled people often seek a reaction your power lies in not giving it to them.”
The woman gave some updates about her situation after readers got curious
Many people replied with advice on what to do next
Cutting ties wasn’t easy, but the woman says it was necessary for her own safety
Image credits: amenic181 / envatoelements (not the actual photo)
Image credits: GaudiLab / envatoelements (not the actual photo)
The moment that made other friends in the group rethink their relationship with the couple
Image credits: carlesmiro / envatoelements (not the actual photo)
Image credits: garetsworkshop / envatoelements (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Prostock-studio / envatoelements (not the actual photo)
Image credits: lawyerforcrazies
The lawyer shared additional details about what happened
Readers shared their own opinions and experiences
Follow Us
