A working mother stirred up the conversation surrounding the amount of parental leave afforded to moms in America when she filmed herself crying because she was only able to see her baby sit up for the first time on a computer monitor.
The video drew attention to gender equality, while some people in the comment thread saw it as vindication for choosing an affluent husband.
This conversation follows a 2019 study indicating that the number of working mothers in America has increased from 51% to 72% over the last 50 years.
The woman was crying because she never thought being a working mother “would be so hard”
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The video shows a tearful mother sitting at a desk while a toddler can be heard making baby noises in the background—presumably from a computer.
“Me at work because I am watching my baby sit up for the first time through the monitor,” the text overlay reads.
The caption read: “Being a working mom is so much harder than I could have imagined. Missing the milestones just breaks me.”
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According to a survey by the non-profit statistics platform, USA Facts, the distraught mother is one of 24 million women who have to keep house and earn a living.
The TikToker is one of millions of American mothers
A 2024 report by the United States Bureau of Labor Statistics found that 76% of working moms have offspring under the age of 6 years.
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This number has climbed drastically over the last half century, according to a 2019 study by Pew Research.
“The share of moms who are working either full or part time in the United States has increased over the past half-century from 51% to 72%, and almost half of two-parent families now include two full-time working parents,” the agency observed.
It further noted that the US, as the world’s apex economy, was one of 41 among the world’s 195 recognized countries that did not “mandate parental leave.”
The video has people calling for more parental leave
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Netizens, for the most part, felt the TikToker’s pain and expressed themselves accordingly in the comment section.
“This is a lot of emotional burden for a new mom,” wrote one person sympathetically, who claimed they “remembered feeling like this.”
“One year of paid maternity leave needs to be the standard,” declared another. “I’m glad women are getting louder about this. It’s a huge issue.”
But some felt that a working mother’s remorse is often the result of a woman’s choice in life partners.
Many Americans see finding an affluent man as a solution to the problem
“Proof that marrying a good provider man is a flex. Being a boss girl isn’t,” wrote one person expanding on the sentiment.
“Choose your husbands wisely,” echoed another.
A 2010 article posted to Forbes headlined Smart Girls Marry Money, put all its weight behind the sentiment when it wrote:
“We have some advice: Instead of looking for love, let’s look out for our own security, the kind you can count in dollars and cents.”
“This is not about ‘happily ever after.’ It’s about being smart and avoiding economic disaster by clinging to old paradigms about love and marriage.”
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The piece claimed and defended its stance, saying:
“Marrying for money isn’t new. In fact, throughout history spousal arrangements have rarely taken any other form. In the past, marriage was primarily a system to promote the financial, social and political aspirations of the families involved.”
The woman’s complaints received a fair amount of criticism
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Some netizens were confused by the teary mom’s complaint. “It was other women that fought to put you in this position,” remarked one.
Another honed in on the federal administration when it said: “Women in the workplace became normal and the Government took advantage of it.”
Image credits: adayinaeats
Image credits: Getty Images/Unsplash
“Now it has become near impossible to live without two incomes and the more people that work, the more people that have to pay taxes,” they lamented.
But the criticism prevailed, and one user wrote: “I thought ya’ll wanted equality.”
One netizen blames it on the “evil world we live in”
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