Marcella Hill, CEO of Wake Her Up—a multi-platform women’s empowerment initiative—claimed that moving into a separate apartment from her husband significantly improved their relationship.
Consistent disagreements over their different lifestyles led Hill to relocate about a mile away.
“Our marriage has never been stronger,” she said of the decision.
U.S. Census data from 2021 indicates that roughly 3.89 million married Americans live apart from their spouses.
Couples therapists have offered insights into the growing trend, explaining why, for some couples, absence can make the heart grow fonder while also highlighting its limitations.
Hill said living apart brought back the excitement of “dating mode” to her marriage
“I just didn’t want to freaking live there anymore. The way he lives, the way I live, very, very different. It was not working for a very long time, but we love each other,” Hill said in an Instagram video on August 8.
She explained that neither of them was looking for a divorce because they had not done anything terrible to each other.
After moving out, Hill said her husband began making positive changes to his lifestyle.
“He is redecorating. The man is doing things I have not seen him do ever. He’s feeding himself, he’s hanging out with new friends, he is regularly taking care of the lawn.”
For her part, Hill said she had been going to the gym regularly, taking long walks and devoting more time to her business, among other things.
Despite living separately, the couple still spends plenty of time together. Hill said they regularly hang out and often spend the night together.
She described the arrangement as putting them back in “dating mode,” which she called “super fun.”
“How’s having my own place? Amazing!” she said.
Her confession quickly ignited a discussion on social media, with users divided over the arrangement
“What a dream. This should be normalized. Maybe investing in building a small apartment in the backyard? I would love that,” one user said.
“This would work for me as I don’t like compromises. The little stuff like giving away my favorite corner of the sofa, sharing TV time, that sort of thing,” another wrote.
“I hate cleaning up after others. I understand where she is coming from,” a third shared.
Others disagreed with the setup, with one describing it as “moving backward in the relationship” and “the first step of a breakup.”
“Yeah, it’s just divorce with a few extra steps,” another user echoed.
Detractors also pointed to the high cost of maintaining two homes, the logistical challenges of raising children, and the possibility of losing emotional intimacy as drawbacks of living separately.
“Something can work in theory, not in practice,” one remarked.
Relationship therapists believe the arrangement doesn’t address the underlying issues
.
Mary McLaughlin, who has spent more than 25 years counseling couples, spoke with The New York Post on Tuesday, August 11.
“I’ve seen happy marriages where couples sleep in separate bedrooms and miserable marriages where couples sleep together,” she said about the trend.
“If both people feel it’s working, I wouldn’t automatically see it as a problem.”
However, she questioned whether separate homes actually resolve underlying relationship issues or simply make them easier to avoid.
“Living apart might relieve some of the pressure, but it doesn’t address what created the problem to begin with.
“I’d be careful not to confuse the relief that comes from living apart with actually resolving the problems,” she added.
Others believe the arrangement provides couples with “the best of both worlds”
Kampus Production/Pexels (Not the actual image)
“More and more people are looking for a relationship but don’t want to give up their independence,” said James Preece, one of the UK’s leading dating specialists.
“It doesn’t necessarily mean it’s the end of the road but often a start.”
Nanette Murphy, a divorce and life-transition coach, also shared her perspective, based on personal experience.
Melike B/Pexels (Not the actual image)
She not only lives separately from her husband but also happily lives in a different country—she in the US and he in Canada.
“After experiencing marriage and divorce before finding one another, we both understood that a successful marriage doesn’t necessarily have to look traditional. For us, having independence has not weakened our relationship—it has helped us protect it,” Murphy told The Post.
“We have found a rhythm that gives us the best of both worlds: a committed marriage and a strong sense of individuality.”
“This is not a marriage”, one comment reads
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