Having a best friend is a wonderful experience because that person often knows you better than anybody else and sticks by you regardless of life’s ups and downs. That’s why it can be incredibly painful when two friends fall apart or something drives a wedge between them.
This is what happened when a woman revealed her pregnancy news to her best friend, who had been struggling with infertility. Their friendship took a turn for the worse, and the other woman took out her jealousy in the form of incredibly rude comments and jabs.
More info: Mumsnet
Best friends should be able to deal with tough situations together instead of turning against one another
Image credits: Mary She / Unsplash (not the actual photo)
The poster found out that she was pregnant with twins and was worried about revealing the news to her best friend, who was struggling with infertility
Image credits: Curated Lifestyle / Unsplash (not the actual photo)
The woman gently revealed her news to her bestie, but the other lady took it badly and accused her of being “greedy” for having more kids
Image credits: Getty Images / Unsplash (not the actual photo)
When the poster had a scare at 14 weeks of pregnancy, her best friend said that it was “karma” and kept saying other rude things to put her down
Image credits: Vitaly Gariev / Unsplash (not the actual photo)
The friend even went to the extent of calling her “large” or trying to stop her from posting about her pregnancy to her other friends
Image credits: Getty Images / Unsplash (not the actual photo)
Even though the woman tried to be understanding of her friend’s behavior, she wanted to protect herself and be able to enjoy her pregnancy
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The poster didn’t know if it would be right to cut off her friend or if she was being selfish for even thinking that way
When the OP found out that she was pregnant with twins, the news came as a shock to her because she had not planned on having more kids yet. Even though it brought her a lot of joy to think of siblings for her daughter, she felt worried about breaking the news to her close friend, who had struggled with infertility for years.
It’s definitely difficult to bring up pregnancy news to someone who hasn’t been able to have a kid of their own, but professionals state that the kindest way to do it is by sending a text. This can give the other person the space to process their feelings without being scrutinized and respond in their own time.
Even though the OP did exactly that, her best friend’s passive-aggressive reaction left her feeling shocked. The other woman criticized her for having more children and said that she was greedy for doing so when other people couldn’t even have one kid. It’s clear that her insecurities were making her feel bitter, which is why she was lashing out at the poster.
This is not an uncommon situation to face, and pregnancy experts reveal that people struggling with infertility might get triggered seeing their friends have children while they aren’t able to do so as easily. They might also experience feelings of anxiety and depression that can spill over into their everyday lives, which seems to be the case in this situation.
Image credits: Will Esayenko / Unsplash (not the actual photo)
It seems like the poster truly did her best to try and protect her best friend’s feelings by informing her beforehand about situations where she would be talking or posting about her good news. Despite that, the other woman kept putting the OP down and expected her to go above and beyond to “hide” her pregnancy.
The friend’s jealousy and insecurity showed up even more through the mean comments she made after the poster went through a sudden medical scare. That’s when the OP must have realized that her bestie was truly struggling and that she couldn’t do anything else to protect the other woman’s feelings.
According to experienced moms, when honest communication isn’t working with a close friend, it’s important to then start setting boundaries to protect your mental health. This might mean closing communication between the two of you for a while, or distancing yourself until there is some improvement from the other person.
The poster was also struggling with the decision of whether to cut contact with her best friend so that she could enjoy her pregnancy, but she also felt that it would be selfish to do so. Although it might seem hurtful to set such a boundary, ultimately it might give both women the space to process their feelings and heal separately.
What do you think would be the right decision for the OP to take in this case? Do share your honest opinion.
People understood that the woman’s friend must be going through a tough time, but they felt that the poster needed to cut her off
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