No matter where you fall on the spectrum of parenting styles or what your specific beliefs are regarding child-rearing, as a parent, there are some things you should say and do to your kids. Sharing words of appreciation and showering them with genuine love can do a lot to help your child grow up feeling loved, secure, and happy.
Let’s flip the coin, and we have a wide range of things you should NEVER say to children. Well, unless your goal is to create the most toxic environment possible.
This is our piece of parenting advice for you today: a kid’s brain is like a sponge, ready to absorb everything you say, especially considering that as their parent, they look up to you. Certain words and the intentions behind them can be incredibly hurtful and damaging and leave a lasting invisible scar. Believe it or not, some everyday phrases may do more harm than good and only serve to drive a wedge between you and your child.
When it comes to parenting, nothing is ever a guarantee — and that includes you always getting it right — but there’s always a way to better parenting. Let’s start with the things parents should never say, and you’ll already be doing a lot to break the cycle of toxic parenting, allowing your house to be a safer place for your little ones. You’ll find that some of these submissions are blatantly destructive, while others are indeed said with good intentions but still carry a hint of venom in certain circumstances.
#1
“Finish your plate even if you aren’t hungry.”
#2
“Why can’t you be more like your sister/brother?”
#3
“You did great on your test, but why can’t you do that all the time?”
#4
“Ugh, you are just like your mother/father.”
#5
“I know what’s best for you.”
#6
“Don’t eat that or you will get fat.”
#7
“You live under my roof and you follow my rules.”
#8
“That’s the way I was raised and I turned out fine.”
#9
“Don’t you want mommy to be happy?”
#10
“’You always …’” or ‘You never …’”
#11
“I couldn’t do that so you probably can’t either.”
#12
“Because I’m an adult and you’re a child.”
#13
“What’s wrong with you?”
#14
“Stop crying right now!”
#15
“Stop being so selfish and needy.”
#16
“I’m ashamed of you.”
#17
“That’s only for boys/girls.”
#18
“Don’t argue with me.”
#19
“I do everything for you!”
#20
“You’ll never amount to anything.”
#21
“Act your age.”
#22
“Your father/mother left because of you.”
#23
“Stop being such a baby.”
#24
“That’s just not good enough.”
#25
“Because I said so.”
#26
“You’re too young to think about this.”
#27
“You’re an idiot!”
#28
“You have awful taste in music/movies/art/sports.”
#29
“Don’t even bother talking to me.”
#30
“How could anyone like you?”
#31
“I’m so fat. I need to go on a diet!”
#32
“Wait until your father/mother gets home.”
#33
“That’s not very ladylike of you.”
#34
“I could do that when I was your age.”
#35
“I’ll disown you.”
#36
“Look at what you’re teaching your younger sibling.”
#37
“Why do I have to tell you everything 100 times?”
#38
“If you don’t want to follow the rules, get out of my house.”
#39
“I know you because I gave birth to you.”
#40
“I told you so.”
#41
“You’re a boy. You’re supposed to like sports.”
#42
“I wish I never had kids.”
#43
“Don’t ask me then, if you’re just going to do it your own way.”
#44
“I don’t love you right now.”
#45
“I’m disappointed about you.”
#46
“Don’t make me turn the car around.”
#47
“Why can’t you do anything right?”
#48
“That outfit doesn’t look good on you.”
#49
“I’m too busy.”
#50
“Your sister/brother does it better than you.”
#51
“I wish you would be more like your cousin/classmate/friend.”
#52
“If you eat all your dinner, you can have dessert.”
#53
“You’re the man of the house.”
#54
“You shouldn’t be feeling this way.”
#55
“You don’t feel that way.”
#56
“You make me so angry.”
#57
“You’ll understand how I feel when you have a kid just like you one day.”
#58
“You should always listen to adults.”
#59
“That’s a stupid idea.”
#60
“Don’t come to me when you get into trouble.”
#61
“You don’t appreciate anything I do.”
#62
“Big boys/girls don’t get scared.”
#63
“Are you sure you can do that?”
#64
“Thinking about sex is bad at your age.”
#65
“You should be ashamed of yourself.”
#66
“Boys should fight back.”
#67
“Stop being such a girl.”
#68
“I don’t believe you.”
#69
“Does anything ever get into that head of yours?”
#70
“What do you know about life?”
#71
“You are too sensitive.”
#72
“Leave me alone!”
#73
“Family finances aren’t your business.”
#74
“I’m not talking to you until you start behaving right.”
#75
“You’re my reason for living.”
#76
“That’s not how you do it. Let me show you.”
#77
“I’m just going to leave you here then.”
#78
“‘B’ is fine but an ‘A’ is more better.”
#79
“You can’t do that!”
#80
“I will never forgive you.”
#81
“You are ‘mini-me.'”
#82
“Medical procedure won’t hurt and medicines are just candy.”
#83
“Stop driving me crazy!”
#84
“I am leaving this house and never coming back.”
#85
“I will give you a toy if you do this.”
#86
“Eat quickly.”
#87
“You’re so shy.”
#88
“You have been so bad all day.”
#89
“Haven’t you learned anything yet?”
#90
“You did well but you could do better.”
#91
“There’s nothing to be afraid of.”
#92
“Your friends don’t do that.”
#93
“You’re so dramatic.”
#94
“You are different.”
#95
“You’re not living up to your potential.”
#96
“You are not supposed to know it.”
#97
“Choose another dream.”
#98
“You are so lazy!”
#99
“You are way better than that kid!”
#100
“You are playing that game wrong!”
#101
“I hate math, I was never good at it.”
#102
Stop calling little girls “bossy.”
#103
“Move faster.”
#104
“You’re a liar.”
#105
“You should have done better.”
#106
“That’s not something to cry about.”
#107
“I don’t know how we are going to pay the bills this month.”
#108
“You will never be any different.”
#109
“You better do what I say or else.”
#110
“It’s just a little white lie.”
#111
“I wouldn’t do that if I were you.”
#112
“You’re a bad kid.”
#113
“You’re a little heartbreaker.”
#114
Screaming “Oh no” when he falls down.
#115
“I will never let anything bad happen to you.”
#116
“Don’t ask any more questions.”
#117
“That doesn’t sound realistic.”
#118
“How could I say no to that gorgeous face?”
#119
“That’s impossible.”
#120
“I used drugs and smoked when I was a kid.”
#121
“You are my little perfect angel!”
#122
“Mommy’s not crying, everything is fine!”
#123
“Don’t talk to strangers.”
#124
“When I was your age, I had the hottest girlfriend.”
#125
“Don’t jump/run/beat.”
#126
“I don’t know who ate your candy.”
#127
“If you don’t clean your room, you’re going to be in big trouble.”
#128
“We’ll never afford that.”
#129
“Don’t go out in the dark.”
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