We all know, rationally, that if a fly landed in our soup, the actual surface area it touched would be very small. At the same time, most of us also would probably prefer to not eat that particular bowl. As it turns out, this same principle is just as true when it comes to dating.
So we gathered the most interesting responses to a thread posted on BoredPandaHQ, asking netizens to weigh in on what causes women to rapidly lose interest in a man. Get comfortable as you scroll through, upvote your favorites and be sure to head on over to the BP community and follow the page for more interesting threads and memes.
#1
For me, ego disgusts me, bad moral compass, rudeness… and sometimes just being too “into me” is a turn off. Honestly, anything! I’m a “vibe” person, always tuning into my gut feelings about the situation. It’s just the way the Weinstein wobbles.
Ok_Departure504:
You seem like the kind of person that would create a very toxic relationship.
Image source: GailaKill, Vitaly Gariev
#2
For me, it’s lying. Lie to me once, I will lose all respect for you.
Image source: BuddyRoseBud, Getty Images
#3
Finding out he values his mommy’s opinion more than the opinion of his significant other.
Anon:
Pretty deluded to think a guy would automatically value your opinion higher than the womam who created and loved him unconditionally for 30 years; you seem to have a scarcity mindset.
Image source: Adventurous_Cook9083, A. C.
Ever wonder why a guy can go from prince charming to total cringe in the blink of an eye? That sudden stomach flip of revulsion is what the internet affectionately calls the ick. We posed this question to the good folks at Bored Panda HQ and gathered their thoughts. While it might seem harsh to dump someone because they ran for the bus with a backpack on or used a straw too enthusiastically it is a genuine psychological phenomenon.
According to experts at VeryWellMind, the ick develops when we’re suddenly repulsed by a specific, often “small” action. It often pops up during the early dating stages when you are still building an image of who someone is.
#4
Inability to communicate. Counter accusing instead of taking accountability for their actions.
Defiant_Industry1155:
Counter accusing is the actual worst.
OP:
Absolutely! 💯 It can be so shocking and confusing until you realize what they’re actually trying to do. Toxic.
Image source: W1ldHoneysuckle, Vitaly Gariev
#5
Possessiveness and jealousy. It’s not a compliment.
One-Load-6085:
The whole romance novel genre women love would beg to disagree…
Anon:
If you fear abandonment, seek therapy. Don’t make it your partner’s problem. They shouldn’t have to sacrifice their family & friends just b/c they have you.
Image source: chouxphetiche, Getty Images
#6
I lose interest when a man shows me he doesn’t know how to listen. I’m not talking about deep conversations, I’m talking about simple details, like if I tell him something important and he doesn’t even remember it, if everything revolves around him, or if he seems present but isn’t really there.
Image source: JandraBliss, Getty Images
The concept gained massive popularity through reality shows like Love Island where contestants would suddenly find themselves repulsed by a partner for the smallest reasons. While some people argue it is just a shallow excuse to end things others believe it is our intuition signaling a deeper lack of compatibility.
#7
Shaking her hand when he’s trying to hit on her.
I was at a beer garden and some dude was hitting on me and straight up offered me a handshake. I was all, “Ok. No thanks!”
Imaginary-Carpenter4:
A handshake is such a traditional, normal interaction, which you have every right to refuse of course, but there is nothing weird about it in my opinion.
Image source: Tasia528, Austin Kehmeier
#8
Eat with your mouth open. 🤮.
chouxphetiche:
And lick every finger with a loud smacking sound.
Image source: SuzIsCool, Getty Images
#9
The toilet seat. It’s usually the toilet seat.
EmpiresofNod:
I was married at 16 and one day my wife fell into the toilet because I left the toilet seat up and I heard it. I never left the toilet seat up again. Even now after all these years when my nephew uses the toilet, I tell him to stop using my bathroom. He then asks “How do you know I used it?” I respond with “becasue you left the seat up. Do you have no respect for the ladies in the house?”
Your brain might be picking up on subtle social cues or hygiene habits that do not align with your long term needs. In the responses you see here many women describe that precise second where the rose colored glasses shattered. Maybe he did a weird little dance or he was way too intense about a hobby that just did not click.
#10
So many things…. if i had to pick one thing i’d say it’s when a man makes a rude “joke” about me and i get upset and then he acts like i’m too sensitive for not enjoying being insulted.
DearTumbleweed5380:
For me, when I turned it back around on him and woah – the sulking! The hurt feelings and the poor little me act. Don’t give it out if you can’t take it.
Image source: anon, Brooke Cagle
#11
Lack of passion, stupidity, arrogance and a big ego. To name a few… oh and if he says he’s an alpha male…🙄.
Image source: Katph1830, Ali Muhammad
#12
Being a man boy. Having to be told what to do. Propping them up: ie having to make their Dr. appts. travel plans, grocery shopping etc.
Not being a helpful partner. Playing video games instead of helping with kids & chores.
anon:
It’s gonna be weird when you have kids with a Man and then it turns out he plays video games instead of helping with kids
Image source: Golfnpickle, Erik Mclean
Psychologists often suggest that the ick acts as a defense mechanism to protect us from investing in the wrong person. We often want our partners to be “good,” so we overlook warning signs. This way, our brains can give us a reality check. It is almost like your subconscious mind is performing a quick audit and deciding that the physical or social chemistry just is not there.
#13
One nasty joke at my expense. Anything in the ballpark of gaslighting. Hit me once in anger.
Welcome to my past. No you do not get another chance.
InternationalBet2832:
Women pick fights because they want to be reassured their man is strong enough to fight off enemies. This is a big red flag for a man. If a woman knows she’ll be thrown out if she fails to control herself, he’ll control herself. Otherwise she’ll scream her head off.
Image source: Fresh_Passion1184, urated Lifestyle
#14
Feeling taken for granted, lack of respect, lack of support.
BlazingJav:
Feeling taken for granted can be confused for a man feeling safe and secured with her partner.
Anon:
What? So men taking women for granted? Just means they feel safe ? That’s a new one, cool!
Image source: SignDisastrous2583, Frolicsome Fairy
#15
If he/she is an unwarranted ahole to waiters, or people on the phone who’s job it is to help you and likely already deal with aholes all day.
Instant turn off.
Spock_s_wife1984:
That is so cringe. I also hate when people I’m with are jerks to servers, cashiers, retail workers or anyone in the service industry.
Image source: Ok-Dress4523, Louis Hansel
Once you catch the ick it is notoriously difficult to shake off because it affects your base level of attraction. It turns charming quirks into irritating flaws that you just cannot unsee. While some minor icks can be managed through open communication many people find that the feeling is a point of no return. It serves as a reminder that dating is often as much about what we cannot tolerate as it is about what we love. So if you find yourself suddenly turned off by the way he holds a sandwich just know that you are definitely not alone in that experience. We’ve put together a community on Reddit for Pandas to share their thoughts on questions like in this post and to share memes and interesting facts, so head on over there for more.
#16
Black & White thinking.
Image source: Silver_Top9612, Bjorn Pierre
#17
When I’m not feeling like I’m wanted and special. We don’t want to tell us, we want to feel it all around us.
Image source: Paola777Ch, Elena Helade
#18
Constantly talking over me and not letting me get a word in. Making excuses.
Image source: feminine_power, Curated Lifestyle
#19
Bad breath. Or a particularly bad kisser.
Spock_s_wife1984:
If he has bad breath, he’s a bad kisser by default.
Image source: PhotoCrazy75, Andrej Lišakov
#20
When a man feels he “trapped” me, then stops working, stops taking care of himself, turns into a sorry little man-child. Then acts all offended when I either walk with nobody’s help, or find someone better. No honey, you brought it all on yourself. Leave my name out of your mouth 😂.
Image source: FloridaFireAnt, Ali Rizvi
#21
Lack of effort or respect. If you stop showing you care, interest fades fast.
Image source: Sharon_Strauss
#22
Being a hypocrite, exploitative and controlling. I was v close with a guy and then he hit the trifecta in one giant meltdown, which went over a few days. Suddenly saw him in a completely different light and never felt the slightest physical attraction again, and only felt revulsion. It also made me re-evaluate our past and pretty much everything he’d ever said or told me in a *very* unflattering light.
Image source: DearTumbleweed5380
#23
Road rage.
Image source: DrIvy78, Vitaly Gariev
#24
Too complicated of a lifestyle: constant travel, weird work schedule, pets, workaholism, family enmeshment, a stressful job, restlessness, weekends away, poor eating and the inevitable health conditions, dreams of owning livestock. At that point it doesn’t matter if they’re fiscally stable or honest, a net negative.
Image source: pilotclaire, Human Bahluli
#25
He consistently takes more than 12 hours to message me back. Total turn off.
Image source: Catladyweirdo, Viktor Talashuk
#26
I don’t like when they don’t have empathy for others especially empathy for children, animals and the elderly. I also don’t like mansplaining my profession to me when they know nothing of it.
Image source: Spock_s_wife1984
#27
Weaponized incompetence.
Image source: Etc09
#28
Narcissistic behaviors and alcoholism.
Image source: Chinaprincesses2
#29
When I find he has kids he gives no time or energy to.
Image source: ALysistrataType
#30
Discovering he is a visual polygamist.
Image source: Specialist_Pace8993
#31
Perpetual victimhood.
Image source: Silver_Top9612
#32
– comparing me to his mom
– being rude
– Lying.
Image source: Purple-heart-509
#33
Actions not matching his words. When trying to spend time with him feels like work.
Image source: sweet_assistant509
#34
Shallow conversation.
Image source: sparkley_elfx
#35
If he tries to play that push and pull game — trying to get you to chase him for basic conversation. Childish. Blocked.
Image source: North_Manager_8220
#36
The absence of any sort of integrity.
Image source: WitchyBiSexy
#37
When he values his masculinity more than me.
Image source: Triple-McPickle
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