We’ve all come across that special someone who can sail through any social situation with ease and grace. They somehow have people eating out of the palm of their hand, without even having to say a word. It’s almost like they’re using magic. But they aren’t.
These highly skilled individuals have a secret strategy. A stash of social “cheat codes” that allows them to subtlety win friends and influence people. These little tricks are the key to success when it comes to succeeding in social situations. They aren’t manipulations or mind games. Think of them as upgrades that anyone can learn and use.
Someone recently asked, “What’s a social cheat code you learned from just observing people?” and thankfully, netizens didn’t hold back. They shared all the tried-and-tested hacks that keep them cool, calm and collected, even during the most chaotic encounters. Some are simple, others take practice. All can have a surprisingly powerful impact.
Bored Panda has put together a list of the best answers for anyone who wants to level up in this game called life. So whether you’re trying to land a job, diffuse an argument, connect with someone new, or just make your everyday interactions less awkward and more effective, keep scrolling. And don’t forget to upvote your favorites.
#1
Maybe this counts – at work, I try to say hi to everyone I see. It’s that simple. When I walk through my work, I tend to know people on each floor because of these small interactions that grew into positive regard for one another. I say hi to every house keeper (actually I’m close with a few now), everyone I pass in the hall, when I enter the nurses station I say “morning everyone!” whether anyone answers or not, lol. Be your own sun 🌞
Image source: emmmru, Getty Images/unsplash (not the actual photo)
#2
Say their name when you’re praising them, like, instead of just saying “Thank you” say “thank you chris”… Trust me, its subtle but makes a huge difference.
Image source: kashif_masood_, Getty Images/unsplash (not the actual photo)
#3
Respond softly like you have a sore throat and they usually immediately bring down their own tone and speak with less anger. Worked every time for me lol.
Image source: dobieforce, Vitaly Gariev/unsplash (not the actual photo)
#4
I’ve learned it’s surprisingly easy to redirect or disarm people once you figure out what they care about. One well-placed question about something they’re passionate about, and suddenly the tension’s gone, and you’ve got them talking for an hour. People just want to feel seen, and when you give them that, doors open.
Image source: milestellstales, Getty Images/unsplash (not the actual photo)
#5
When someone has a really terrible idea that you know will fall flat, don’t tell them it’s a bad idea. It puts them on the defensive. Ask questions you know they haven’t thought through and let them think them through. Nine times out of ten, they’ll get to “this is actually a bad idea” on their own but they get to make that call. In the process, you’ve built trust in the relationship.
Image source: shenstuff1981, Van Tay Media/unsplash (not the actual photo)
#6
If you want to vent about frustrating coworkers, only do it with your very few VERY trusted friends, and it doesn’t hurt to remind them every time “this stays between us” – but absolutely continously praise people behind their backs, a lot, when someone does something you admire or appreciate, tell them but also sing their praises to others.
Image source: michelullen, Getty Images/unsplash (not the actual photo)
#7
Theres a viral video of an interview that went around that really stuck with me “dont attribute to malice what you can attribute to ignorance” thats the world
Image source: knjcre8s, Yunus Tuğ/unsplash (not the actual photo)
#8
Be positive.
Most communication is non-verbal. You know how you get home at the day and you can tell your dog is thrilled to see you without them needing to put it into words? Whenever you interact with people, take a beat to think to yourself “how awesome is it that I get to engage with this person? They’re so cool!”
That comes across, and as long as you have a modicum of social grace, people love it.
Image source: avuncularavian, Getty Images/unsplash (not the actual photo)
#9
Oh man, I know a few, but the most effective ones for me are these:
– Control the room by listening more than you speak. silence is power most people can’t handle.
– Win people over by remembering the small things they thought you’d forget.
– People love talking about themselves, ask the right questions and they’ll think you’re the most interesting person in the room.
Image source: midnight_reads_darcy, Rene Terp/pexels (not the actual photo)
#10
if you’re with someone and you see someone else whose name you forgot, just introduce your companion to them first and then they’ll volunteer their name.
Image source: kbighorse, Curated Lifestyle/unsplash (not the actual photo)
#11
Minding your own business goes a very long way to keeping yourself safe.
Image source: pburnett_795, Jonathan Borba/unsplash (not the actual photo)
#12
When enough people join in on hating a bully, they squirm. Hard.
Image source: frankie.the.viz, cottonbro studio/pexels (not the actual photo)
#13
Never reveal how intelligent you are around insecure people. If you’re composed & well put-together, they will hate you enough. Strong intelligence will send them over the edge & place a target on your back.💯
Image source: daindianqueen, cottonbro studio/pexels (not the actual photo)
#14
Patience exposes what pressure can’t. Stick around long enough and let their actions do the talking.
Image source: themoramirez, Mimi Thian/unsplash (not the actual photo)
#15
Greet everyone with the same enthusiasm you would bring meeting your favorite celebrity! People will always remember how you make them feel! Leave a lasting impression!
Image source: official1_lamin, Erika Giraud/unsplash (not the actual photo)
#16
People tend to act on better behavior if you visit them at their house, rather than inviting them over. They’re more at ease in their own environment
Image source: melissaashleymeares, RDNE Stock project/pexels (not the actual photo)
#17
Be nice and honest, but don’t over share ever. People judge you more harshly than they would ever say to your face
Image source: lovelessjosh, Brooke Cagle/unsplash (not the actual photo)
#18
Most people don’t want to hear the truth, even if they ask you. Unless you know them well enough to know they will not crumble hearing an unpleasant truth, keep your mouth shut.🤐 And yes, I am neurodivergent asf & have learned this the very hard way.🤦🏽♀️
Image source: daindianqueen
#19
Common courtesy and respect goes a lot further then one may think
Image source: rambleunderway
#20
Today’s lesson was
I said when are we going to get together? Their response simply “ I don’t know. “
Clearly I’m not any priority in that persons life. Hard lesson. Emotional intelligence sometimes is It’s all in what they don’t say! I’m fine, we are clearly on two different paths. Friendships change over time. We change and grow at different rates. Know to hear and read the signs. Walk away with dignity
Image source: mhe.bz , Sohail Nawaz/unsplash (not the actual photo)
#21
Know when to leave the conversation, the party, the relationship quietly, yet quickly, when you see a lack of accountability & emotional maturity.
Image source: chrisblakecole, Alena Darmel/pexels (not the actual photo)
#22
Your healthiest relationships will be with people that have your same level of emotional intelligence.
Image source: arm_me_wit_harmoneeee
#23
When people, mostly men, make suggestive “jokes”, reply with “I don’t get it. Can you explain it to me?”
Image source: lisaaabisaaa
#24
The only thing to say to cops:
Yes sir
No sir
On my way home sir
Works every time, but to be fair, I am white. This didn’t always work with my First Nations friends.
Image source: theduncancreamer
#25
Mirroring their body language. It is effective, non verbal and a simple way to connect.
Image source: kathryn.gould.307
#26
When you want to encourage someone to share more about what they said but they for some reason seem a bit defensive or closed off, I find asking “oh, how come?” is more inviting than asking “why?”
Image source: a_petty_filous
#27
A little recognition goes a long way. Long term employees are often super valuable but completely overlooked and even feel invisible. Notice them and their contributions and they will be on your side
Image source: kmh8392
#28
Confidence will get you 90% of the places you want to be.
Image source: imnotoriousnate, Resume Genius/unsplash (not the actual photo)
#29
One social cheat code I’ve learned just by observing people is that the calmest person in the room often holds the most power like when you don’t rush to react, when you stay composed and grounded even in chaos people naturally start to respect and gravitate toward you 👌🏼
Image source: simaakayalii, Michael T/unsplash (not the actual photo)
#30
People respond best when they feel seen. Not just noticed, truly seen. That subtle shift in how you ask a question, how you mirror their tone, or how you acknowledge something small they shared weeks ago… it’s pure magic. 💚✨😊
Image source: charmaineletoille
#31
Always look people in the eye. It makes them uneasy and if they are caught lying they get so scared 😱
Image source: bauchlefashion, Getty Images/unsplash (not the actual photo)
#32
The best way to disarm a narcissist or an egotistical person is to make them feel unimportant to you and show that their words hold no power over you
Image source: z.suzz, Timur Weber/pexels (not the actual photo)
#33
The ones you hear talking about other ppl….you can’t trust them. The ones who never talk about others are the good guys.
Image source: raynemahnmusic
#34
Smiling, greeting, and a firm handshake can gain you a lot of opportunities. Even stuff you’re not even really qualified for lol
Image source: made.in.bhm
#35
If you’re shy and can’t make eye contact, look at their t zone forehead area. It’ll look like you’re making eye contact
Image source: fee.losophy888
#36
That there is always someone in any organization who can say yes. You need to see who either has the authority or gives no Fs
Image source: karengaudette
#37
Silence makes people uncomfortable.
Most people rush to fill awkward silences by oversharing.
Stay quiet.
Let them talk.
People reveal their insecurities when you don’t interrupt.
You’ll learn more by saying less.
Control the tempo of a conversation with your pauses.
Silence is dominance in disguise.
Master this and you’ll own every room you walk into.
Image source: soullsage
#38
Only SPEAK what you mean & MEAN every single word you say. Because to observant people & those who know you enough, you look real stupid uttering empty words.
Not to mention, your credibility and their respect for you as a person goes down to the bottomless abyss immediately 😅
The worst part? once someone catches you doing it, you better believe EVERYONE around you will know.
Image source: habits2greatness
#39
A lot of people fall into different energy types and categories and interests. A lot of incompatible relationships and friendships happen because you try to pair apples with oranges. The best way to avoid conflict and issues is sometimes to assess a situation more clearly rather than just befriending or dating anyone that seems cool on paper.
Image source: jennyshrew
#40
People have something they want to talk about that nobody gives them the time for
People will consider you an angel if you can release them from some shame for at least the moment
People quickly bond over a common enemy and are likely petty c*nts.
Many crave control, create that illusion
oh heres a tip some people don’t get. often at work some are sycophantic to the boss or ahole not because they like or respect them but because they have to for survival , bc they are an ahole nutball
Image source: _cat_ronin
#41
Make art with people. The people you will have the most genuine relationships with will be people who share your aesthetics. Art is something you can do with people that doesn’t involve money, power, or consumption.
Image source: chrishart243
#42
Keep some thoughts inside and keep your face neutral.
Image source: abqmizu
#43
f you don’t engage when provoked, antagonizers will fight the air.
If you engage, everyone sees two clowns performing.
Image source: momo.so.divine.747
#44
Somewhat relaxed body language in a position of power showcases comfort and works really well one-on-one
Image source: hamzauddin
#45
Trust what they do, not what they say.
Image source: ashley.mosaic
#46
Generally avoid at all costs….in particular the problematic ones who like to tell you what you’re thinking/feeling and what you should or shouldn’t be thinking/doing etc.
Image source: mahzhah
#47
Offer nothing at first other than friendship if they’re genuine they’ll stick around if not they’ll move on
Image source: stubtastic
#48
You can excuse yourself from any situation by going to smoke a cigarette. This is the reason so many people still smoke.
Image source: sex_drugs_and_jazz, M ACCELERATOR/unsplash (not the actual photo)
#49
Don’t be too friendly. Observe. Make people earn your niceness/ kindness.
Image source: n0n3xist3nt__, Getty Images/unsplash (not the actual photo)
#50
Watch and observe before speaking to people you don’t know. Start with small talk discussions.
Image source: keanemachine978
#51
How people respond to others’ wins. Jealousy often hides behind fake excitement.
Image source: ayidevera, OurWhisky Foundation/unsplash (not the actual photo)
#52
People find delight in someone when there is a fun, quirky, memorable thing about them. For instance, my friend loves Phase 10. Anytime I see phase 10, I think of her. It also makes it easy to tease her about something in a non-bullying way. If you want to win someone over, have something cutely quirky about you
Image source: lauryncakes, Getty Images/unsplash (not the actual photo)
#53
Take nobody too seriously because they don’t even take themselves seriously
Image source: livingraciously2
#54
If you want something simple done, ask it during the middle of a conversation , ” hey can you fetch that for me?” The other person will do it without thinking much just to keep the conversation ongoing.
Image source: dominguezcaio, Andrej Lišakov/unsplash (not the actual photo)
#55
If someone is trying to pick on you, intimidate you, dead pan stare at them. Face them fully, say nothing.
If it DOES warrant a response, flatly & calmly tell them in some words, how brave/bold of a move this is, for them to say/act this way.
If you can master making your pupils dilate on command. Pupil Dilation is seen as either desire, or primal attack mode.
You’re wanting to convey the later. They’ll back tf off real quick. You can’t appear nervous. Watch your body language.
Image source: xzuka88x, freepik (not the actual photo)
#56
Pretty privilege is a real thing
Image source: thetruthfulg
#57
Act as if you have the right and people will let you.
Image source: ozpomfromhell
#58
Manipulation works without them noticing if you manipulate them with factual truth instead of lying. Pointing out things that are true usually gets me my way.
Image source: christinebakerwellness
#59
Don’t help people who don’t ask for help. They will resent you because you didn’t fix their problem their way, or they will resent you because they didn’t ask for help.
Image source: jatomis
#60
People who are known for being mean bitches have more respect and kindness for the ones who aren’t afraid of them😆🤣🤣
Idc how mean you are, I’m not scared of anyone. Is someone gonna beat me up? No. I might even giggle, because why tf you being this evil?
Image source: tejuanagold, Lia Bekyan/unsplash (not the actual photo)
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