When it comes to legendary cinematic phrases, it would be blasphemy to ignore a large number of Shrek quotes. Their arrival to our cinematic world was a blessing in disguise for the cinephiles. Like with all DreamWorks quotes, there are hidden philosophical messages in all of them.
The best starting point would be with the Shrek onion quote. We might write off this green humanoid beast as a simple ogre. However, as the character says, ogres are like onions, meaning they have layers of emotions too. They feel, can be hurt, and be more empathetic and understanding than humans.
Farquaad and Donkey quotes from Shrek are opposites of each other— two sides of the same coin. Donkey seems to view the world through more rose-colored glasses. His friendship phrases show how much he cares about Shrek. Lord Farquaad quotes play against this idea, instead focusing on the need to be selfish.
All in all, it’s hard to argue with the fact that the majority of the best Shrek quotes are peak philosophy. We have compiled the phrases the franchise is known for. Upvote the sayings you liked the most. If you have anything else to share about the movies, do so in the comments below.
#1
“This’ll be fun. We’ll stay up late, swapping manly stories, and in the morning… I’m making waffles!” – Donkey
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#2
“I hate Mondays.” – Puss in Boots
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#3
“Blue flower, red thorns. Blue flower, red thorns. Blue flower, red thorns. Man, this would be so much easier if I wasn’t color blind!” – Donkey
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#4
“In some cultures, donkeys are revered as the smartest of animals.” – Donkey
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#5
“That must be Lord Farquaad’s castle. Do you think he’s maybe compensating for something?” – Shrek
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#6
“After a while, you learn to ignore the names people call you and just trust who you are.” – Shrek
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#7
“You know what? Maybe there’s a good reason donkeys shouldn’t talk.” – Shrek
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#8
“Oh, what large teeth you have. I mean, white sparkly teeth. I know you probably hear this all the time from your food, but you must bleach or something, ’cause that’s one dazzling smile you got there. And do I detect a hint of minty freshness?” – Donkey
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#9
“OK… I’ll tell you. Do you know the Muffin Man?” – Gingerbread Man
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#10
Donkey: “Nobody said I have the right to remain silent!”
Shrek: “Donkey, you have the right to remain silent. What you lack is the capacity.”
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#11
“Although she lives with seven other men, she’s not easy.” — Magic Mirror
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#12
Princess Fiona: “What kind of a knight are you?”
Shrek: “One of a kind.”
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#13
“I’m sorry, the position of annoying talking animal has already been taken.” – Donkey
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#14
“Ogres are like onions.” – Shrek
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#15
“Hey! I’m no one’s messenger boy, all right? I’m a delivery boy.” – Shrek
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#16
“What are you doing in my swamp!?” – Shrek
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#17
“Well my stomach aches and my palms just got sweaty, must be a high school.” – Shrek
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#18
“You know what the best part of today was? I got the chance to fall in love with you all over again.” – Shrek
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#19
“Only a true friend would be that truly honest.” – Donkey
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#20
“You might have seen a housefly, maybe even a superfly, but I bet you ain’t never seen a donkey fly.” – Donkey
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#21
“Please! I don’t wanna go back there. You don’t know what it’s like to be considered a freak… well, maybe you do, but that’s why we gotta stick together. You gotta let me stay!” – Donkey
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#22
“You know what ELSE everybody likes? Parfaits! Have you ever met a person, you say, ‘Let’s get some parfait,’ they say, ‘Hell no, I don’t like no parfait’? Parfaits are delicious!” – Donkey
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#23
“Wake up and smell the pheromones.” – Donkey
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#24
“C’mon, princess, you’re not that ugly. All right, you are ugly. But you’re only like this at night. Shrek’s ugly 24/7.” – Donkey
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#25
“I’m not a puppet. I’m a real boy.” — Pinocchio
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#26
“Before this is over, I’m gonna need a whole lot of serious therapy. Look at my eye twitchin’.” – Donkey
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#27
“All right, nobody move! I got a dragon here, and I’m not afraid to use it. I’m a donkey on the edge!” – Donkey
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#28
“She called me a noble steed.” – Donkey
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#29
“That’s another thing we have in common. I hate it when you’ve got someone in your face, you try to give someone a hint and they won’t leave, and then there’s that big awkward silence, you know?” – Donkey
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#30
“Oh! Pick me! Pick me! Me! Me! Meeee!” – Donkey
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#31
“I hate these ball shows. They bore me to tears! Flip over to Wheel of Torture.” – Gingerbread Man
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#32
Donkey: “Whoa. Look at that. Who’d wanna live in a place like that?”
Shrek: “That would be my home.”
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#33
“You’re so wrapped up in layers, onion boy, you’re afraid of your own feelings.” — Donkey
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#34
“For five minutes, could you not be yourself?” – Shrek
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#35
“Look at him in his wee li’l boots!” – Shrek
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#36
“You didn’t slay the dragon?” – Princess Fiona
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#37
“He endures blistering winds and scorching desert! He climbs to the highest room of the tallest tower, and what does he find? Some wolf telling him that his princess is already married!” – Fairy Godmother
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#38
“I’m wearing ladies underwear.” – Pinocchio
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#39
“Well, it’s no wonder you don’t have any friends.” – Shrek
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#40
“There’s a stack of freshly made waffles in the middle of the forest! Don’t you find that a wee bit suspicious?” – Shrek
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#41
“Someday, I will repay you. Unless, of course, I can’t find you. Or I forget.” – Shrek
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#42
“You know, Donkey, sometimes things are more than they appear.” – Shrek
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#43
“I like my privacy.” – Shrek
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#44
“Once upon a time, there was a lovely princess. But she had an enchantment upon her of a fearful sort which could only be broken by love’s first kiss. She was locked away in a castle guarded by a terrible fire-breathing dragon. Many brave knights had attempted to free her from this dreadful prison, but none prevailed. She waited in the dragon’s keep, in the highest room of the tallest tower, for her true love and true love’s first kiss… like that’s ever gonna happen. What a load of…” – Shrek
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#45
“I like that boulder. That is a nice boulder.” – Donkey
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#46
“Don’t you want to tell me about your trip? How about a game of Parcheesi?” – Donkey
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#47
“Wow, that was really scary, and if you don’t mind me saying, if that don’t work, your breath will certainly get the job done, ’cause you definitely need some Tic Tacs or something ’cause your breath STINKS.” – Donkey
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#48
“It’s gonna be champagne wishes and caviar dreams from now on.” – Donkey
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#49
“Oh, Shrek. Don’t worry; things just seem bad because it’s dark and rainy and Fiona’s father hired a sleazy hitman to whack you. It’ll be better in the morning. You’ll see.” – Donkey
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#50
“Man, you gotta warn somebody before you crack one like that. My mouth was open and everything.” – Donkey
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#51
“Don’t die, Shrek. And if you see any long tunnels, stay away from the light!” – Donkey
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#52
“You cut me deep, Shrek. You cut me real deep just now.” – Donkey
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#53
“Don’t mess wit’ me. I’m the Stair Master. I’ve mastered the stairs. I wish I had a step right here, I could step here and here and here and step all over it.” – Donkey
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#54
“Eat me!” – Gingerbread Man
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#55
“No, not the buttons… not my gumdrop buttons!” – Gingerbread Man
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#56
“Fire up the ovens, Muffin Man! We’ve got a big order to fill.” – Gingerbread Man
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#57
“Some of you may die, but it’s a sacrifice I’m willing to make.” — Lord Farquaad
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#58
“Shrek, Fiona… will you accept an old frog’s apology and my blessing?” — King Harold
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#59
“Good morning. Um, how do you like your eggs?” — Princess Fiona
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#60
“If you think this mad scene ain’t dope, I feel you, dude.” – Shrek
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#61
“I already had a big bowl of curly-toed weirdo for breakfast.” – Shrek
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#62
“Well, somebody better be dying!” – Shrek
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#63
“Working hard or hardly working?” – Shrek
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#64
Shrek: “Who said I want to be part of this family?”
Princess Fiona: “You did? When you married me?”
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#65
“I only wanted what was best for Fiona, but I can see now she already has it.” – King Harold
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#66
“He is a bit different, but people do change for the ones they love. You’d be surprised how much I changed for your mother.” – King Harold
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#67
“Donkey, if that was me, you’d be dead. That’s brimstone… we must be getting close.” – Shrek
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#68
“All right, you’re going the right way for a smack bottom.” – Shrek
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#69
“This is the part where you run away.” – Shrek
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#70
“Because that’s what friends do, they FORGIVE EACH OTHER!” – Donkey
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#71
“It looks like we’re up chocolate creek without a popsicle stick.” – Gingerbread Man
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#72
Lord Farquaad: “What’s that? It’s hideous!”
Shrek: “Well, that’s not very nice. It’s just a donkey.”
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#73
“How do you explain sgt. pompous and the fancy pants club band?” – Shrek
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#74
“I’m an Ogre! You know, ‘Grab your torch and pitchforks!’” – Shrek
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#75
“But, I don’t understand. I’m supposed to be beautiful.” – Princess Fiona
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#76
“Huh, celebrity marriages. They never last, do they?” – Donkey
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#77
“Five shillings for the possessed toy. Take it away.” — Captain of Guards
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#78
“I’m not the monster here. You are. You and the rest of that fairy tale trash, poisoning my perfect world. Now tell me!” — Lord Farquaad
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#79
“It’s time to pack up your toothbrush and jammies. You’re the new king of Far Far Away.” – Shrek
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#80
“What are you doing? You know, you should sweep me off my feet out yonder window and down a rope onto your valiant steed.” – Princess Fiona
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#81
“By night one way, by day another. This shall be the norm. Until you find true love’s first kiss. And then take love’s true form.” – Princess Fiona
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#82
“I’ll have the Medieval Meal.” – Prince Charming
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#83
“I didn’t know we could do that.” – Shrek
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