Few things hurt as much as lifelong friendships abruptly coming to an end. As James Blake sang, “As many loves that have crossed my path / In the end, it was friends who broke my heart.” Many of us have experienced friendship breakups, whether in middle school or as adults. In general, people prefer to be upfront about ending friendships, as 52% of Americans say it’s better to be direct than to slowly distance yourself.
But not all friendships end with a polite conversation. Sometimes, your friend does or says something so out-of-pocket or insulting that you know you can no longer be friends with such a person. Bored Panda has collected answers from three online threads where people were sharing the reasons they cut off their friends for good. Some of them were unexpected, others kind of deserved, but most are still heartbreaking.
#1
Their obsession with men.
Image source: Natural_King_6366, Unsplash+ / Unsplash (not the actual photo)
#2
He took me to his church where the entire sermon was about how I am going to hell for being not straight. I was not yet out of the closet. I had to f*****g move.
Image source: Upbeat_Dudeness, Karl Fredrickson / Unsplash (not the actual photo)
#3
Getting s****l with me soon after I was widowed.
Image source: Emergency-Lack-8226, Getty Images / Unsplash (not the actual photo)
#4
They are more interested in me supporting them and their projects (which I am no longer interested in honestly) and have very little interest in my life or me as a person.
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#5
I told her what i really thought of her boyfriend.
16 year friendship down the drain.
I heard that he cheats on her a lot and she keeps taking him back.
Some people never change and grow.
Image source: cryinginabucket, Getty Images / Unsplash (not the actual photo)
#6
D***s 🥺
The day after I found out I was going to miscarry, she asked for my address. I assumed she was going to send me a sympathy card or something so I gave it. (Sure we’d been best friends since middle school but we didn’t know addresses, just how to get to each other’s houses, if that makes sense)
That isn’t why she needed it. She told me she was going to give it to her boss in another state to send paperwork to her, because her mail kept getting stolen. She had trouble keeping a job and I didn’t want to mess this up for her so I let it happen. She assured me she’d drivr over and grab her paperwork after the mail came and leave everything else so we wouldn’t notice.
One day she didn’t make it to my mailbox in time and my husband came home early, so HE got the mail. He saw the big envelope and called while I was at work and asked me what it was. I said I had no idea. She was using my name AND address. When she discovered he had the envelope she came to the door in a panic and demanded it, explaining it was very important paperwork. Husband said she was acting like she’d attack him if he didn’t hand it over.
He decided to call the postmaster and have him hold everything going forward and only HE could get the mail directly. He knew I’d help my friend so I wasn’t allowed to get it, only him. She had another envelope coming and lost her mind at me when she found out about this. She even tried going to the post office pretending to be me and then demanded I call them claiming my husband had no right to do what he did and to have them release the mail to her on my behalf.
It was d***s. The envelopes contained sheets of d***s or something between the pages of b******t paperwork. My name and address was so that if someone else opened them and reported it, I’d take the fall.
My husband works for the government and we were trying to start a family. If that happened we’d have been absolutely f****d over.
She claimed I should have known it was d***s and when the police interviewed her about it she made a deal to give up her “boss” as long as they left me alone. So I should be grateful to her.
Dude, you shouldn’t have used me as a d**g mule in the first place!
Image source: st0dad, Anastasia Pivnenko / Unsplash (not the actual photo)
#7
Political views. My best friend of 37 years leaned further & further right. My family and I represented everything he stood against (lgbt+ representation in my son, mixed race marriage, mixed kids who shouldn’t exist, my wife and I are both proud union members, we use legal m*******a, I don’t like g*ns, and on & on).
He made a “joke” after the kids got sh*t in Parkland and I f*****g snapped. I told him we were done and enumerated all the ways that he’s against me and mine. I severed contact and haven’t spoken to him since. I’m not even angry at him, we are just too fundamentally different. I just wish I’d ended things sooner.
That was in 2018.
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#8
Her anger. I got tired of it.
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#9
I noticed how little consideration he had for me. And I really gave it my biggest thought when he didn’t come to my birthday to cheat on his girlfriend with a girl in my class instead of coming. Just sad what he did.
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#10
He got a girlfriend.
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#11
For me, it came after I had supported her through many mental health crises, drove to see her most of the time and then when I was in crisis she thought I was expecting to much from her. It made me realize that our whole dynamic was lopsided.
Image source: Mysterious-Kick9881, Unsplash+ / Unsplash (not the actual photo)
#12
I unfriended my longtime friend on Facebook, which was in its infancy at the time. He didn’t post at all, so I figured he would not be offended. Later, I found a message from him in my junk folder that explained how hurt he was. I wrote back to him, but the damage was done. Never heard from him again. I deeply regret that, but I later saw his name in a news article, and it sounded like he was doing well. That’s good.
Image source: IronCavalry, gpointstudio / Magnific (not the actual photo)
#13
She kept telling me all these things people were saying about me and one day I heard a saying ” dont tell me what theyve said about me, tell me why theyre so comfortable saying them to you” and it changed my outlook. After we stopped being friends I heard from people that she never once defended me and would join in on the s**t talking.
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#14
I’m a dude. She would use me for attention and a shoulder to cry on. Get a man and disappear. Then she used me to make her boyfriends jealous. It happened enough till my smooth brain recognized the pattern.
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#15
He got into fitness and suddenly became very vocally critical of everything I ate. It became so constant and intense that I backed away from that friendship.
Image source: fjv08kl, Getty Images / Unsplash (not the actual photo)
#16
She believed my toxic mom over me.
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#17
Going full MAGA. Note: we live in Vancouver, Canada..
Image source: SevereRunOfFate, pexels.com
#18
When a friend I’d known for 20 years started his own business and met a banker, started hanging out with him and warped his entire mindset about prioritizing money above basic human dignity and the lives of others.
Like I’d argue with him about things and ultimately his argument was about how much money would we save if we didn’t do X or Y, like healthcare. He’d argue that if you can’t afford to live, perhaps you shouldn’t be a drain on other people’s livelihoods.
“Why should my taxes be going to someone who doesn’t know how to save money? The world needs less people like that.”.
Image source: Lafantasie, Alexander Grey / Unsplash (not the actual photo)
#19
I’m petty, so not sure if anyone will relate to this – I ended a friendship because he would take a week to respond.
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#20
Getting ghosted out of nowhere. She messaged 10 months later saying she had an “identity crisis”, moved to a different province and changed her name. We were then talking again for like 3 more months until she ghosted again. After 3 months of being ghosted the second time I told her to never contact me again.
Image source: barwhalis, Patrick / Pexels (not the actual photo)
#21
I stopped asking to hang out when they moved back to the town next to mine. We were friends through middle school, high school, and college. He officiated my wedding. When I asked for like the 12th time to hang and he said he couldn’t. I stopped calling. Haven’t heard from him since.
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#22
One-sided behaviour where I was the trauma dump ground and the generous one and they just took, took, took.
Image source: purplelilac701, EmilyStock / Magnific (not the actual photo)
#23
The mental health of a friend I’d had for years. She was diagnosed with bipolar disorder, and for many years I had given her a lot of leeway and support through difficult times. But in the end it became a very big burden on me and she began to take advantage of my kindness, try to force me into unsafe situations with her during times of mania, and blame me for periods of depression. I had to step away and could not let myself back into that friendship which genuinely changed my life so much.
Image source: Upsidedownabby, cottonbro studio / Pexels (not the actual photo)
#24
We were room mates. He moved his girlfriend in and it became a disagreement over the allotment of bills since she lived there full time. I got over that. Then he got engaged and somehow planned a wedding all before I knew it and I wasn’t the best man. So I just cut contact. I miss his son. He was like my kid. I helped raise him for 5 years but I don’t really miss my friend at all. Getting away from him allowed me to grow in a lot of ways.
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#25
After 10 years of friendship, she told me who not to invite to MY birthday. And it wasn’t someone she didn’t like or had beef with. It was bc, “I see her all the time.” I gently said I’d really like to include her, she said ‘no’ again. And a lightbulb went off. She could see no problem with telling me who to include for my own freaking bday. That’s f%ed up. Mind you we were both in our 40s.
Image source: djSush, kaboompics.com / Pexels (not the actual photo)
#26
Everytime we’d go out for a fun night at bars he’d end up screaming at his girlfriend when she was sweet to him. Insulting her, breaking up with her, making her cry and chase after him after he storms off.
I hold my male friends to a higher standard, so I cut him off. He’s still complaining about it.
Image source: PolyaPenguin, cottonbro studio / Pexels (not the actual photo)
#27
He started going off on rants about the “good” of eugenics. I’m disabled.
Image source: scipio0421, nazariykarkhut / Magnific (not the actual photo)
#28
One of my best friends for 10 years very graphically hit on my 16 year old daughter. So I destroyed his life after hurting him really bad.
Image source: poyb_86, Brenda Zelaya / Pexels (not the actual photo)
#29
Didn’t show up for my younger brother’s funeral.
Image source: WolffeJ, Pablo Merchán Montes / Unsplash (not the actual photo)
#30
He got drunk and got into my face, then proceeded to threaten to hit my dog.
It was a reminder of why I quit drinking and revealed him to be a POS. This just happened 2 weeks ago.
Image source: youreHIValadeen, prostooleh / Magnific (not the actual photo)
#31
She couldn’t see my true nature and was always paranoid about me or accusing me of things I wasn’t actually doing despite the power in the friendship being extremely tilted in her favor and me always giving her the benefit of the doubt.
Image source: KnownButton8327
#32
I lost two best friends based on the fact that I hired them for a job at my work. That is the biggest lesson I could teach everyone, do not hire your friends because they will try to take advantage of you and then you will have to fire them.
Image source: mercuryrising320
#33
They stayed with a SUPER toxic partner. Disrespected him all the time, belittled him all the time and also tried to put him in prison for a crime he didn’t commit. He would constantly talk about her issues and all I could say is I told ya so, and I got sick of it.
Image source: YaManMAffers
#34
My first son’s godfather and my former best friend went full MAGA in 2016. Never had a mean bone in his body for the 10 years I’d known him, then started being openly racist and sexist to the point of embarrassment.
He also purposely tanked his team in our 10 year long fantasy football keeper league because “you’re all a bunch of libtard f*ggots”. That’s besides the point, but a poignant example.
I still miss who he was, and it’s why I despise that movement more than any other reason; it stole my best buddy from me and my family.
Image source: Kichijouten14
#35
When she showed me who she truly was, I believed her.
Image source: GotNothingBetter2Do
#36
Someone not understanding that I needed to cancel on them for an event because my dog just had surgery and I wanted to be with my dog.
Image source: Small_Mood3708
#37
She got a boyfriend and a started being unavailable all the time unless her annoying partner was included.
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#38
He tried to hook up with my wife.
Image source: murbike
#39
She treated someone else so poorly, I couldn’t ignore it. I won’t be friends with people who hurt people.
Image source: ibuymyownroses
#40
I stopped instigating the hangouts and never heard from them again.
Image source: Newt_Seldon
#41
She took my friendship for granted and never celebrated my wins and always jealous of me secretly.
Image source: soulfulconfusion
#42
She stopped putting in the effort. Conversations were one sided, one word answers to questions, she rarely called, I was always the one to suggest doing things.
She stopped so I stopped.
Image source: CannedDuck1906
#43
Depression… for both of us.
Image source: Helena_Handcart1
#44
A baby.
Full story is: my friend got preggo when we were 19, swore up and down it was *this guys* baby and I backed her fully on this. She’s miserable, demanding and selfish the entire time she’s pregnant, I cater to her. She has baby and then *that guy* comes out of the woodwork asking for a dna test and it winds up being his baby. She says she won’t tell *this guy* because she want’s him to suffer. I offer baby advice often (my mom actually taught me how to care for a baby growing up. I had 2 sisters 6 and 8 years younger than me and lots of baby cousins and niece/nephews so lots of practice) and get shot down and told “you don’t have a baby, you don’t know what you’re talking about” (was telling her to get newborn nipples or drop in’s for baby’s gas) I watch baby when she goes back to work until one day she does not bring enough formula. I do not have car to get formula. I do not have money to get formula even if I had car. I call her. I am freaking out. Baby will not stop crying. She tells me to put formula in bottle. She gets someone to pick up baby. I do not speak to her ever again.
Image source: meltsaman
#45
Time and distance — after years of living a different life from my childhood best friend, we no longer have those shared experiences that keep us together. We just drifted apart — phone calls and texts became less frequent, visits became infrequent, until I woke up one day and realized haven’t seen him in 10 years.
Image source: ShaChoMouf
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