There are places for humor, philosophy, arts and crafts, and so on. But there’s only one place where all these things can meet in one building—a school. Among many things that are being taught there, a few more subjects, like friendships and relationships, are learned by the young students themselves. And one thing that can help develop these connections are school jokes.
If you’re new and want to break the ice in conversations both with students and teachers, these jokes about school can surely come in handy. Of course, the jokes must be said at the right time and place to warrant a correct response. While it can be a great joke, an out-of-place one-liner might not get the best reception.
Many schools have their own meme culture, but cracking up students isn’t too strenuous of a task. Schoolteachers, however, are a whole different story. But there’s absolutely no better feeling than cracking jokes for school so funny that even teachers can’t help but laugh at them.
So dive into this collection of funny school jokes and get cracking! Make sure to pick your timings right though, both for students and teachers!
#1
Where do pencils go on vacation?
Pencil-vania.
#2
Why isn’t there a clock in the library?
Because it tocks too much.
#3
Which animal cheats in the exams?
Cheatah.
#4
Why didn’t the sun go to college?
Because it already had a million degrees.
#5
Why did the dog do so well in school?
Because he was the teacher’s pet.
#6
How much do computers eat for lunch?
A byte.
#7
What is a snake’s favorite subject in school?
Hisssssstory.
#8
Which school supply is king of the classroom?
A ruler.
#9
What is a witch’s favorite subject in school?
Spelling!
#10
Why don’t giraffes go to elementary school?
Because they go to high school.
#11
What U.S. state has the most math teachers?
Mathachussets.
#12
A book never written: “When Does School Start?” by Wendy Belrings.
#13
Why was the cafeteria clock behind on the first day?
It kept going back four seconds.
#14
Why do math books always look so sad?
They are full of problems.
#15
What did the pen say to the pencil?
“What’s your point?”
#16
What do librarians take with them when they go fishing?
A bookworm.
#17
What happened when the teacher tied all the kid’s shoelaces together?
They had a big class trip.
#18
Why did the student bring scissors to school?
Because he wanted to cut class.
#19
How do bees go to school?
By school buzz.
#20
Why is beer never served at a math party?
Because you should never drink and derive.
#21
What’s the best place to grow flowers in school?
In kindergarden.
#22
Why do magicians do so well in school?
They’re good at trick questions.
#23
Why did the kid eat his homework?
Because his teacher said it was a piece of cake.
#24
Where do surfers go to school?
Boarding school.
#25
What did one pencil say to the other on the first day of school?
“Looking sharp!”
#26
Why was the broom late for school?
He over swept.
#27
How do the fish get to school?
The octobus!
#28
Knock, knock!
Who’s there?
Pencil.
Pencil who?
Never mind, this is pointless.
#29
Why do calculators make great friends?
You can always count on them.
#30
What did the teacher say about the pizza student?
“There’s mushroom for improvement!”
#31
What vegetables to librarians like?
Quiet peas.
#32
What did the pencil sharpener say to the pencil?
“Stop going in circles and get to the point!”
#33
Why did the student throw her watch out of the school window?
She wanted to see time fly.
#34
A butterfly’s favorite subject?
MOTHematics.
#35
What do math students eat on Halloween?
The Pumpkin Pi.
#36
Why is the obtuse angle always upset?
Because it can never be right.
#37
Why did the echo get detention the first day?
It kept answering back.
#38
Why did the boy steal a chair from the classroom?
Because the teacher told him to take a seat.
#39
How do you make seven even?
Take away the ‘s’.
#40
Why can’t a nose be 12 inches long?
Because then it would be a foot.
#41
Why did the square and triangle go to the gym?
To stay in shape.
#42
Why do music teachers do well in a baseball game?
Because they have a perfect pitch.
#43
When do student astronauts eat?
During LAUNCH time.
#44
What is the blackboard’s favorite drink?
Hot chalkolate.
#45
Why do we measure a snake in inches?
Because it does not have feet.
#46
What’s a frog’s favorite year?
Leap year.
#47
What’s so difficult about music class?
You have to write down many notes.
#48
What does an overqualified circle have?
360 degrees.
#49
Why did the teacher wear sunglasses to school?
Because her students were so bright.
#50
What time would it be if Godzilla came to school?
Time to run!
#51
Why did the teacher draw on the window?
Because he wanted his lesson to be very clear!
#52
What do elves learn in school?
The elf-a-bet.
#53
Why did the egg get thrown out of class?
Because he kept telling yolks.
#54
Why are fish so smart?
Because they live in schools.
#55
What do you need to go to high school?
A ladder.
#56
Why did the teacher jump into the pool?
He wanted to test the water.
#57
What do you do if a teacher rolls her eyes at you?
Pick them up and roll them back!
#58
What did the student say to the teacher after he missed the first day of school?
“No, ma’am. I didn’t miss it at all.”
#59
How does a scientist freshen his breath?
With experi-mints!
#60
Where do math teachers like to go on vacation?
Times Square!
#61
Why can’t pirates learn the alphabet?
Because they keep getting lost at C.
#62
Why did the girl do her homework on an airplane?
To achieve a higher education.
#63
What school requires you to drop out in order to graduate?
Sky diving school.
#64
David: “Why did the broom get a poor grade in school?”
Dan: “I don’t know. Why?”
David: “Because it was always sweeping during class!”
#65
T: Why can’t you work in an orange juice factory?
S: I don’t know. Why?
T: Because you can’t concentrate!
#66
Teacher: “Why did you eat your homework, Joe?”
Joe: “Because I don’t have a dog.”
#67
Why were the students doing multiplication on the floor?
The teacher asked them not to use tables.
#68
An English teacher’s favorite breakfast?
Synonym rolls.
#69
Why did the kid run to school?
Because he was chased by the spelling bee.
#70
What do you call a square that’s been in an accident?
A wrecktangle.
#71
What do you get when you cross a teacher and a vampire?
Lots of blood tests!
#72
What do they do on the first day of sheep school?
Have a baa-baa-cue.
#73
Why did the warlock had so much trouble with math?
He never knew WITCH equation to use.
#74
Why does a music teacher need a ladder?
To reach the high notes.
#75
What did the spider make online?
A website.
#76
What did the bully have for lunch?
A knuckle sandwich.
#77
What do you call a student with a dictionary in his pocket?
Smartie pants.
#78
How did the music teacher get locked out of her classroom?
Her keys were on the piano.
#79
A superhero in a computer class. The screen saver.
#80
Why do fireflies get bad grades at school?
Because they are not bright enough.
#81
How do you know that Saturn was married more than once?
Because it has many rings.
#82
What is a mathematical plant?
The one with square roots.
#83
What do ducks use for solving problems?
A quackulator!
#84
Which is the longest table in the math class?
The multiplication table.
#85
Which letter of the alphabet has the most water?
The “C.”
#86
Which building has the most stories?
The library!
#87
Why did the jellybean go to school?
To become a smartie!
#88
What does a book do in the winter?
Puts on a jacket.
#89
What should you grow in a school garden?
Human beans!
#90
What is the smartest insect?
A spelling bee.
#91
Why is 2+2=5 like your left foot?
It’s not right.
#92
Why did the bat miss the school bus?
Because he hung around for too long.
#93
How do you get straight A’s?
By using a ruler.
#94
Stevie: “Hey, Mom, I got a hundred in school today!”
Mom: “That’s great. What in?”
Stevie: “A 40 in Reading and a 60 in Spelling.”
#95
Mike: What has given Mr. Bubbles nightmares since elementary school?
Josh: Beats me.
Mike: Pop quizzes!
#96
Why is history a sweet subject?
Because it has many dates.
#97
T: If you had 13 apples, 12 grapes, 3 pineapples and 3 strawberries, what would you have?
S: A delicious fruit salad.
#98
Why did Jimmy’s grades drop after the holidays?
Because everything was marked down!
#99
What do you get when you cross a math teacher with a tree?
Arithma-sticks.
#100
What kind of teacher passes gas?
A tutor.
#101
What kind of math do owls like?
Owlgebra.
#102
What did the lobster do when the first day of school ended?
It shellabrated.
#103
What do you get when you throw a lot of books in the ocean?
A title wave.
#104
What did the buffalo say at school drop-off?
“Bison.”
#105
What room can a student never enter?
A mushroom.
#106
What flies around the school at night?
An alpha-bat.
#107
The smartest letters of the alphabet – the Ys (wise).
#108
Which hand writes well, right or left?
None. A pen or a pencil writes well.
#109
What’s an English teacher’s favorite tree?
Poetree.
#110
A book never written: “The Best Subject in School”.
#111
What is yellow on the outside and gray on the inside?
A school bus full of elephants!
#112
What is white when its dirty and black when its clean?
A blackboard.
#113
Why did the Cyclops close his school?
Because he only had one pupil.
#114
Why do the students wear glasses during math class?
To improve their division.
#115
The reason why English teachers dislike parole – they like complete sentences.
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