For many people with disabilities, navigating the world involves more than just physical or neurological challenges. It also means confronting a daily barrage of unsolicited advice, invasive questions, and shocking acts of cruelty from the able-bodied public. An online community asked disabled people to share the single rudest thing they have ever experienced.
The responses are a gut-punch. These stories are raw accounts of blatant ableism with everything from strangers trying to “pray away” a disability to having mobility aids kicked out from under them. This thread might be a little lesson in compassion for all of us.
More info: Reddit
#1
Would anybody like to know how many times I’ve been prayed over because Jesus will allow me to be healed and walk….
In restaurants… By Domino’s delivery people.
That and random strangers walking up and pushing.
Image source: Consistent_Reward, Getty Images
#2
I don’t have as many experiences as I’m sure others here do. However one of my disabilities causes tics(involuntary movements and sounds), and I used to be forced to attend church with my family. I was told directly by an old man in a wheelchair that I should pray whenever I felt tics coming because that would scare away the demons inside me.
Image source: _lucyquiss_, The Yuri Arcurs Collection
#3
Disabled all my life and my mom still brings up (I’m 38)how slow I am, depending on what I’m doing and what mood she’s in ☹️.
#4
I’ve been knocked over during a gym class when I was young. People have ignored me when I was physically struggling with something very visibly. Some people can’t understand I can’t just live a “YOLO” lifestyle and become a world traveler and camp out in the woods, imply I’m lazy. Been mocked about things I can’t achieve from family.
Image source: Forlorn_Cyborg, freepik
#5
I’m in Canada.
I have a mobility, C-PTSD, medical alert and response service dog. As I entered Walmart 2 workers start yelling at me from the exit (which isn’t close and I thought they were yelling at someone else) then a random lady near by though it was a good idea to grab me by the arm that my service dog was actively doing some Forward momentum pull (which can be dangerous for both of us). The lady then “guided” me to the workers because she thought I was blind. I was so shocked tbh.
Turns out the workers just wanted to see the proof of my service dogs training (which is part of my province laws). I showed them the program proof of training and they let me go shop in peace.
It just s***s because it caused alot of distress for me. I had a big adrenaline dump during my shopping trip which I had to go on the ground. The yelling didn’t affect me as much as getting grabbed. Getting grabbed triggers my C-PTSD especially when I don’t consent to be touched. I also felt called out although, I follow the service dog laws in my province to a tee. It s***s that this happens because people fake service dogs all the time. If people realized that there actions do have consequences… bringing your dog Fido to the store and pretending he’s a service dog, does harm disabled people.
Image source: RanchAndCarrots, Janusz Walczak
#6
Literally any of the invasive things that I’ve been asked. I’m blind and you wouldn’t believe some of the questions people have asked me. I had a roommate once asked me how I wipe myself after I go to the bathroom and if she would need to help me. I was like, so taken back by it! I genuinely didn’t know how to respond because why! Anytime I’ve been told I’m an inspiration for doing a basic every day task! Anytime someone has asked me if they could pray for my eyes or the times I’ve had someone tell me that if I Use essential oils or any weird remedy that they think will cure me. I once had an afterschool program counselor in elementary school not allow me to use the regular swings on the playground and instead she would always put me in the Accessible swing with a safety bar even though I knew perfectly well how to use a regular swing, she was the only person that would do this. I could keep going with the amount of things that have happened.
Image source: Minimum-Fish-1209, pressfoto
#7
People are haters. My own family calls me delusional and psychosomatic. I have 17 specialists and need surgery but can’t get it without pain management. Pain management refuses to help me telling me I need psychiatry. Worst insult on every level. I’ve been bed bound and had bed sores and even urgent care refused to exam me. I’ve become so sad I’m just waiting to die now. My GP says it’s likely I’ll have a heart attack or stoke because of my chronic tachycardia and high blood pressure because of untreated intractable pain. So fun.
Image source: Deadinmybed, freepik
#8
“maybe you should talk to a psychologist”
…about me having normal human emotions while struggling with a physical disability.
Image source: feyceless, freepik
#9
Rudest are definitely the people who want to pray over me or in one case asked if she could lay hands on me to try and heal my eye.
Image source: TXblindman, freepik
#10
Someone once grabbed my head, stuck their fingers in my ears, and tried to pray away my deaf.
don’t uh…. don’t just grab people’s head and stick your fingers in an orifice, it’s weird and alarming.
Image source: faloofay156, EyeEm
#11
I have a brain injury with a speech impairment. At the time before my shunt placement, i had a significant stutter. I was in law enforcement at the coroner’s office, and the coroner was up for re-election. My chief deputy said i should have ran a radio ad to “make it look like we hire the handicapped.” The secretary at the same job said that my brain injury was “b******t” and that i was “using it as an excuse for my bad behavior” because i didn’t socialize enough with her at work.
Image source: Moist_Fail_9269, freepik
#12
I can feel people behind me wanting me to go faster, but judging from the stories I’ve heard from y’all, I have been extremely fortunate I’ve not had any of these kooks trying to pray over me or whatnot. I would probably be polite about my refusal. At first. I don’t use a wheelchair, (I use a cane), but I would probably freak out on someone if they tried to push me. And I’m loud.
The rudest person I had to deal with recently was my last boss. She equated sitting with going slowly, and there was no convincing her otherwise.
Image source: Elegant-Hair-7873, EyeEm
#13
The rudest comment I would get is stuff like how are you BLIND and responding to questions on the Internet or another one I would get how can a blind person have a preference when it comes to dating.
Image source: Euphoric-Reaction-43, siddharth vyas
#14
Some jarring encounters I’ve had:
1. Having a good day, fresh from a workout (I had finally gotten into shape and was healthy and happy), and as I was heading to one of my grad school classes, this random b***h asks if I’m ok. The first time I remember that happening, I was in high school. That’s when i learned I have an obvious limp. I knew I limped sometimes, but I thought I blended in really well… apparently not.
2. A******s pushing my wheelchair (I’ve had one since I was 5… I know how to push myself). Also, it’s really f*****g jarring to not see someone who just starts pushing you… like seriously scary.
3. The many stares and rude questions regarding my face and legs.
Image source: green_hobblin, freepik
#15
Getting out of my car after I parked at work and having another employee stop me to ask me if I was aware that I had just parked in a disabled spot. He didn’t bother to look for the tag that was hanging on my rear view mirror for all to see.
To make matters worse, I was parked at that building to go to my monthly accessibility committee meeting.
Image source: Delicious-Farmer-301, freepik
#16
I have occational gout attacks. So I sometimes have difficulty walking. And will walk with a cheap cane I bought from some costume shop for some period (whatever works right?)
I once had a class-mate take several minutes to explain to me how stupid it looked that I had been walking around with a cane for 3 days, when I one day came to class without it.
Ok, buddy, I am sorry it offended your eyes that much, but how the f**k am I supposed to get around without it? My whole foot feels like the bones a splintering with every step I take.
Image source: OceanBlueSeaTurtle, standret
#17
At lunch during my first year of High school, someone stole my cane from under my desk (I’m visually impaired) and decided to hide it in the library. It caused me to have an anxiety attack and yell “WHO THE F**K STOLE MY CANE?!” and this was shocking coming from the quiet kid, I RAN around the school to the library and found it under a random desk. I then went to a staff member in a panic, hyperventilating, shaking, overheating and all. They sat me down and demonstrated some breathing exercises to calm me. That was the only time in my school years (so far) that I’ve ever yelled. I remember them saying:
“Look at me, try to use your diaphragm, try to breathe slowly, feel it enter your lungs, and feel it slowly coming out, can you do that?”
“Hey, hey, deep breaths, look at me. In and out, you’re hyperventilating. Breathe in, hold it, and breathe out. There we go, can you do that a few more times for me?”
“Look at me, deep breaths, deep breaths. You’re safe, you’re okay, look at me, see how I’m breathing? Can you try to copy that? Here, put your hand on your chest, and feel how calm you get when you breathe deeply, in and out. Do you feel better? Okay, here, drink some water from your bottle too, you ready to go to class now?”
I remember having to skip a small portion of gym because I was still panicking and a staff member had to calm me down.
Image source: Tweektheweek, freepik
#18
Well I have my right foot amputated and a kid was joking around asking me if I wanted to have a toe counting contest. Thinking he would surely beat me but I had the last laugh because I was done at 5 and he still had 5 to go.
#19
I’ve had mobility aids kicked out from under me a sick amount of times. Including when I was a minor. Between all the rude comments and the fact that so many people think that this behavior is okay, I go without until I can’t physically stand without them.
Image source: ClarinetKitten, freepik
#20
I’ve been disabled all my life, since birth. Most of that time has been in a wheelchair. So I’m pretty hardened to most comments and generally just ignore them or come up with a sarcastic reply. But one incident has stuck with me and likely will all my life.
About 15 years ago my folks and I were visiting my Aunts cottage in Maine. I went out one morning to explore the area. I’m used to drawing attention when I’m in the states (I’m Canadian) as there aren’t as many people with high end power chairs. (They are pretty common in Canada as everyone can apply for funding).
I had just enjoyed the fact I could use a walkway to get my feet to the sand and was heading back to the cottage when I hear a little kid yell out, frightened…”Look mommy, a monster!” I started looking around and spotted a kid around 8-10 years old with his mom.
I was still confused and figured he maybe saw a giant bug or something. Then he said it again, at that point the mom took his hand and said “Shh, I know…just keep walking.”
It took me a second to realize that I was the “monster”. I just sat there in shock. Eventually I made my way home and by that time I was in tears.
I just couldn’t fathom being called a monster. It wasn’t even that from the kid, I mean kids don’t always understand. And even though he was bit older I wanted to give him the benefit of the doubt in case he had his own issues. It was the mother’s response. Validating and confirming the child’s view and then the way she rushed them to the car, watching over her shoulder. As though even being within yards of me would contaminate them.
Still gets me to this day.
Image source: gdtestqueen, EyeEm
#21
I was a teenager, going to the grocery store with a family friend and her daughters who I was friends with. At the time I was mostly ambulatory, and used crutches. We stowed them under an accessible cart that I could sit and be pushed on since we’d be there a while. Older woman using a walker chastised me as we were leaving for not walking while everyone else was.
When I was about four, my grandmother carried me into the store for a quick stop instead of unloading my wheelchair. I got yelled at for expecting her to carry me by someone in the store.
I remember these vividly and now I’m anxious as an adult to go out anywhere.
Image source: Remarkable-Top4817, EyeEm
#22
“Why don’t you just go back to work full time? Don’t you want to be a productive member of society?”
Thanks Jan, but I don’t base my self worth on how valuable I am to capitalism.
Image source: laurenlegends23, freepik
#23
I was leaving the hospital and i must have hit something like a rock. So i fall over and my walker, a full arable grown man no older then me (32) He walked around me then he said “sup”. If i was able body i would have told him what’s what. Unfortunately people dont take you serious yelling from the ground.
Image source: Crazy-Wind-970, freepik
#24
When my grandma was in the hospital dying,I had a nurse push me into the hallway because I was in her way. Didn’t ask me to move or anything, just wheeled me into the hallway.
Image source: Both-Artichoke5117, freepik
#25
1) Being told I’m rude for saying ‘what the f**k is wrong with you?’ in direct response to ‘what’s wrong with you?’.
2) ‘God doesn’t punish the ones he loves. That’s why you have no children and you’ll die alone’
3) ‘Next time you faint can you at least talk to me please?! Tell me what’s going on!!? I need to know if I should let work know I’m going to be late.’ I can’t talk d*****s, I fainted.
Image source: surlyskin, Drazen Zigic
#26
Being told being fat isn’t a disability. I’m honestly not even too far over weight compared to many my height. But, the disabilities and the meds to treat them caused the weight. Not the other way around.
Being physically blocked into a parking spot because some botch didn’t bother looking at my plate when she didn’t see a handicapped placard hanging in my window.
Being shoved in my wheelchair waiting for hubs to get out of bathroom. Hubs had parked me near wall in lobby to wait for him and some dude just shoved my chair for really no reason (wasn’t blocking anything but a poster, which was unavoidable how the walls are there). Thankfully my brakes were on so I didn’t go far, but I almost fell out and onto my bad leg a week and a half post major ankle reconstruction. (I was seeing Haunted Mansion in theaters even if I had to go on a gurney! It’s my second favorite Disney Ride.)
I don’t handle it well. I have Antisocial Personality Disorder, so I’m already pretty f*****g blunt. I cuss people out on the regular.
Image source: CarobPuzzled6317, fentonroma143
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