Recap – Modern Family 1.13 “Fifteen Percent”

Can people really change? That’s the question at the core of last night’s Modern Family, “Fifteen Percent.” When asked, Phil replies that people can change, and he’ll believe that until the day he dies. Claire responds that he has just proved the exact opposite of what he said. Evidently not: Claire used to support him! Claire is just angry because she cannot figure out how to use the new remote control Phil purchased for their new home theater system. Claire has always had trouble with technology, evidenced by the time Claire walked into Haley’s room in only her bra, underwear and an open robe, and Dylan was live via video on Haley’s computer. Claire was completely oblivious to the fact that Dylan could see her. When Dylan informed her of this fact, she quickly hit the floor and crawled out, giving Dylan a nice shot of her butt along the way.

Jay is hanging outside Papa Dons Deli, joking with his old buddies, including Shorty, played by Chazz Palminteri. Cameron walks by with some flowers he is about to deliver to Gloria as thanks for watching Lily. He has also purchased Gloria a card with a silk-boxered, hunky Antonio Banderas-type pictured. Jay, feeling embarrassed about Cameron’s obvious persuasion, and how his old-school buddies might react, introduces Cameron as “a friend of my son.” Cameron is unfazed. Back at Jay’s house, Manny is preparing himself for a date. A girl named Whitney whom Manny met on an online book club is coming over (let’s ignore the fact that Gloria isn’t incensed that her 11–year old is inviting strangers from the internet over to the house because, well, it’s funny!). Manny explains how they fell for each other, “We both like vampire fiction…and the romance of eternal life.” Whitney arrives, and she is not exactly as Manny imagined. Instead of another 11-yr old who would be excited about the “blood-like” tomato soup Manny put on the date menu, she’s a woman in her early thirties (played by the wonderful Kristen Schaal of Flight of the Conchords fame).

Proving that poor tech skills run in the family, Mitchell is having trouble with his car’s new voice command system. Cameron tells Mitchell that he ran into Jay and was introduced to Jay’s buddies as Mitchell’s “friend.” Mitchell is offended because he’s been down this road many times before with his father. He moves to get out of the car to confront his father when the voice command asks for a destination. A nonplussed Mitchell retorts, “Hell.” Perhaps the voice command programmer had one too many bad experiences with Taco Bell because the system fires back, “Mexican food.” Mitchell explains to the camera that Jay had a hard time with Mitchell coming out. So much so that Mitchell had to come out three times because his dad didn’t want to acknowledge the fact his son is gay. Cameron’s parents had no such issue. Cam’s mother told him she was in labor with him for 36 hours and when he finally emerged he did so with arms opened wide, jazz hands and a roaring Ethel Mermanesque, “Hellooooooo!!!” Cut back to Papa Dons where Mitchell approaches his father to give Jay a piece of his mind. When Jay reintroduces his son to the guys, Shorty comments how much he likes the fabric of Mitchell’s coat. When Mitchell tells Jay he is offended by how Jay described Cameron, Jay explains that his buddies are old school and aren’t comfortable with “the gay thing.” “These guys are like out of the 1800’s. After lunch, Hugo ordered a Sanka!” Mitchell insists it is just Jay who is so uncomfortable with the gay thing that he didn’t even notice Shorty is gay. “My gaydar is never wrong, and it’s pinging like we’re at a bath house.” Jay protests that Shorty was married. “Just like Elton John, Merv Griffin and Cole Porter?” Mitchell wonders. When Shorty again comments on Mitchell’s coat, Mitchell leaves a befuddled Jay with a, “Ping!”

Over at La Casa Dunphy, Claire calls Phil to help her with the remote control. Despite mashing the remote’s buttons (her solution to all of her tech problems, evidently), she can’t get the sound to work. Claire believes Phil installs complicated things just so he can talk to her like a child. She remembers the thermostat incident: Phil making up a children’s song so Claire would know how to work the heat. “The snowflake makes the air get cold, cold, cold. The ‘Set’ button makes the temperature hold, hold, hold.” Needless to say, Claire was not amused. Also not amused by her situation is Whitney. She, like everyone watching this family, wonders what other 11-year old speaks like Manny does. Gloria explains that he is an old soul, which Manny illustrates by offering Whitney his handkerchief for her tears. Whitney says she will never find love, but Gloria is there to buck her up. “The town where I came from has an old saying, ‘Love is just around the corner.'” Of course, Gloria’s neighborhood had a lot of prostitutes, too. Whitney just needs to find her inner beauty. “It’s hidden beneath a mask of insecurity,” Manny explains. Although now thoroughly freaked out by Manny, Whitney accepts Gloria’s offer of a makeover.

It turns out Cameron was duped by the florist. Despite the florist’s assurances to the contrary, the flowers Cameron purchased for Gloria are wilting. Cameron has called the florist demanding they bring over new ones. Mitchell can’t understand why Cameron would get so upset over the flowers, but not over how Jay described Mitchell and Cameron’s relationship. Cam explains that the florist played him for a fool; Jay is just being who he is and means no harm by it. Mitchell, rather emotionally, explains to the camera that it was very hard for him to come out. When Mitchell was on the East Coast for law school, Jay would call him every Saturday at 6:00pm to check in. After Mitchell came out, he really only spoke to his mother. Jay returns to his home and sees the newly fabulous Whitney. Gloria introduces them and Jay asks how Whitney knows Gloria. Manny chimes in, “She’s my date.” “Of course she is,” Jay deadpans. While Manny and Whitney make plans to get together if both are single in ten years, Jay tells Gloria about Mitchell’s preposterous proclamation that Shorty is gay. Gloria agrees with Mitchell, and thinks Jay should help Shorty come out. Gloria thinks Jay is best-suited for the job because she’s sure Jay made it easy for Mitchell to come out. The look on Jay’s face reflects just the opposite. Jay calls Shorty to invite him to a round of golf, but when Shorty asks what he should wear, Jay realizes his son and wife might be right about his old friend.

Phil comes home and as he steps through the front door, steps on the remnants of the remote control. Since she couldn’t make it work, Claire determined the remote was stupid and unnecessary. So, she destroyed it. Phil tells her she’s just not that smart when it comes to technology. Oh yeah? Well Claire got a 4.0 in college. What about Phil? He explains he would have done better if he hadn’t committed so much time to cheerleading (is it just me, or is that Edie Falco on Phil’s shoulders in the cheerleading photo?). Anyway, the experts at CNET gave the remote three-and-a-half mice, so he’s going to get the same one and, to prove that Claire is simply bad at tech, teach their dumbest kid how to use it in twenty minutes. Claire asks who their dumbest child is. Phil offers Luke, but Claire insists Luke knows too much about computers. Phil needs to teach Haley how to use it. This is totally unfair, but Phil accepts the challenge.

Cameron’s flowers have now miraculously recovered. Seeing Cameron freak out about this, Mitchell wonders what the problem is. Cameron explains that he “went medieval” on the florist. He even used his “cowboy voice.” (How did we not get to hear Cam’s cowboy voice?!? I feel cheated.) Cameron decides to microwave the flowers to make them wilt. When the florist arrives with the new flowers, the old one burst into flames in Cameron’s hands. He begins screaming in a very high-pitched voice. Mitchell, acknowledging the scene, tells the florist, “Look! Two things flaming at once!”

At the golf course, Jay shanks his drive way right. Shorty points out that Jay needs better hip movement, and grabs his hips to show him. If Jay doesn’t twist his hips and spread his legs correctly, he’s “never gonna get his shaft where it belongs.” Jay has enough of his lesson, so the two move to a bench to talk. Jay senses Shorty has a secret (especially after Shorty wonders if he could pull off creaseless pants); a secret Jay didn’t handle so well when Mitchell admitted it (personal growth for Jay!). Shorty doesn’t know if he can say it; he’s never told anyone this before. Jay insists he will help Shorty in any way he can. Shorty is relieved when he admits he is in big-time debt to a bookie, and so thankful that Jay will give him the $20,000 he needs to pay the guy off. “What?” Jay incredulously asks. He thought Shorty was gay. Why would Jay think Shorty was gay? Jay answers that Shorty is always talking about clothes and hair. “My father was a tailor!” Shorty roars. Jay apologizes…by asking if Shorty would like his $20,000 in cash or a check.

Phil is having his own problems. His greatest fears are being realized as Haley is having major difficulty learning the remote. “Pretend the mall is closing!” Phil urges his daughter. When she protests that the remote is too difficult to learn (and stupid too!), Phil gives her a pep talk sure to work on a teenager, “This is for all the times your mom told you she was right, and you knew she was wrong.” The pep talk works as Haley is able to best the remote during her mother’s test. After successfully moving from TV to DVD, muting and unmuting the sound, and recovering from a device input debacle, Haley and Phil celebrate their triumph (great direction here having father and daughter mimic the celebration from Breaking Away playing on the TV simultaneously).

Jay goes over to Mitchell’s house to inform his son that his gaydar is broken: Shorty is not gay. Mitchell explains that he was playing a trick on his father because of the way he treated his and Cameron’s relationship. He was proud of Jay, though, for reaching out to Shorty; it was proof of Jay’s growth. Mitchell’s better half arrives at Gloria’s house to bring her the flowers. He compliments the newly made-over Whitney on her dress, hair (just like Barbara Streisand in The Way We Were!), and their mutual interest in the vampire craze. Obviously without gaydar, Whitney confides that Cameron might be “the one.” Under Mitchell’s explanation that people can change, about fifteen percent, if they really want to, Claire wakes up Haley in the middle of the night for help with the remote (“Why can’t you ask dad?” “Because we’re married.”), and Jay and Mitchell awkwardly share a hug. Whether someone changes for themselves or for someone they love, it doesn’t matter. Fifteen percent is enough.

Commentary

I didn’t think this was one of the best episodes of Modern Family, although it was still better than most of the “comedy” on television. There wasn’t a lot of out loud laughing or guffawing coming from my couch, nor were all of the kids in the episode (which I highlighted last week as a strong suit of the show). I did notice something that actually excited me for the future of the series, though: Mitchell’s talking head about coming out to his father and not speaking to him much afterwords. This was the most dramatic/emotional moment of the season so far…and I loved it. Now, I know this is a comedy, and I want it to remain so, but I think there is a gold mine of great television that can be mined in this emotional realm. Yes, each episode ends with some (sappy?) music and a voiceover that brings a heaping helping of sentimentality, and I don’t want to go too far down that road. However, Mitchell’s admission (and kudos to Jesse Tyler Ferguson who is dong some great work on the show) was, dare I say, poignant. Comic relief is used by playwrights to provide the audience with a break in dramatic tension, a chance to catch their breath. It also offers the audience a chance to compare the dramatic and comic moments, heightening both. The Mitchell scene provided, for lack of a better term, “Dramatic relief.” If the show is constantly driving at a 70 mile per hour comedic clip, bringing some real poignancy into the proceedings allows the audience to slow down for a bit, think about the relationships of these people, and then be hit with another burst of funny. Others may disagree and want “Fizbo” all the time, but for me, I think they can do some great things with more scenes like this.

So, overall for me, a funny episode (as this show always delivers, and was helped by mixing two of the families), but not one of the greatest. However, we got a peek into what could be some transcendent television. Check out a preview of next week’s episode, “Moon Landing,” here. Please leave any comments, questions or thoughts below. Thanks so much for reading, and see you next week!