Every person entering a new family hopes that their in-laws will be nice and loving, instead of a nightmare to handle. Unfortunately, not everyone is that lucky, and they might end up having to deal with a toxic extended family that’s hell-bent on getting their own way.
This is the situation one woman had to deal with because her mother-in-law was extremely clingy and controlling. She also did everything in her power to come between their relationship, which led to a lot of awkward and uncomfortable situations.
More info: Reddit
It can be hard to set boundaries with rude in-laws, especially if your partner is not on your side
Image credits: Max4e / Freepik (not the actual photo)
The poster shared that she had been with her fiancé for eight years and that, since they lived abroad, she only met his possessive mom a few times
Image credits: EyeEm / Freepik (not the actual photo)
During Christmas, the poster’s mother-in-law took over the gift she was going to give her fiancé and pretended that it was from her until the last moment
Image credits: Freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)
The woman was uncomfortable because of her mother-in-law’s manipulative behavior, and felt scared as they were going to be living just three hours away now
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The poster also talked to her fiancé about his mom’s behavior, and he agreed to go to therapy as a way to be more aware of her behavior and to set boundaries with her
Things must have been easier for the poster when she and her fiancé were living abroad, and his mom couldn’t interfere much in their lives. Unfortunately, since they were shifting a bit closer, his mother’s possessive and controlling nature became more apparent as she tried to control what the man wore and take over their wedding planning.
Dealing with domineering parents like this can be difficult, especially if they always want to control how their kids live their lives. Family experts state that it’s not healthy when adults use manipulation tactics to get their children to do what they want, and that it can lead to a dysfunctional connection between them.
It seems like the mother-in-law was just like that, and she didn’t want her son to be closer to anyone else except her. That’s why, during Christmas, when his fiancée got him a present, the older woman acted like it was from her, and she didn’t come clean about her actions until much later.
According to professionals, manipulative people or narcissists might actually use gifts and important events to further their agenda and play with people’s emotions. That’s why it’s essential not to react to their tactics and to ignore their behavior so that they can’t feed off your discomfort.
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The woman obviously felt hurt and annoyed by her mother-in-law’s controlling tactics, and she didn’t know what to do about them. She felt helpless because her fiancé never seemed to notice the things his mom did, and didn’t stand up to her when she went overboard.
That’s why the poster eventually decided to speak to her partner about her concerns so that they could do something about it together. She didn’t want there to be more problems later on, since they were going to be living just three hours away from his mom and dad, who wanted to visit every month.
Setting boundaries with toxic relatives might seem tough, but they are necessary to maintain the peace. That’s why therapists advise doing this by figuring out what kind of behavior you don’t want happening anymore, and having a calm conversation with the person causing the problems.
Luckily, the man was open to listening to the OP’s feelings, and he realized that he found it tough to confront his mom or recognize her manipulative behaviors. That’s why he decided to go to therapy so that he’d be able to work on himself and set better boundaries with his mother in the future.
What advice do you have for the woman so that she doesn’t have to deal with her toxic mother-in-law’s tactics anymore? Do share your thoughts in the comments section below.
People were shocked by the older woman’s antics and told the woman to set boundaries immediately or to call off the wedding
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