Political jokes are either a big no or a huge yes in a group of friends. However, we’ve all laughed at least once with political puns and good satirical lines about voting, elections, liberal jokes, or other political aspects like capitalism, for instance. We bet that silly (to some) beliefs, puns on parties, and satirical dramedies on presidents will never get boring or old.
Even if you deem yourself firmly apolitical, these hilarious jokes just might crack you up, too. Undoubtedly, you have your own brilliant thoughts on the topic as well. We would love to read your thoughts in the comments and don’t forget to vote for your favorite jokes and share them with your friends.
#1
Congressman should wear uniforms like NASCAR drivers so we can identify their corporate sponsors.
#2
A woman in a hot-air balloon is lost, so she shouts to a man below, “Excuse me. I promised a friend I would meet him, but I don’t know where I am.”
“You’re at 31 degrees, 14.57 minutes north latitude and 100 degrees, 49.09 minutes west longitude,” he replies.
“You must be a Democrat.”
“I am. How did you know?”
“Because everything you told me is technically correct, but the information is useless, and I’m still lost. Frankly, you’ve been no help.”
“You must be a Republican.”
“Yes. How did you know?”
“You’ve risen to where you are due to a lot of hot air, you made a promise you couldn’t keep, and you expect me to solve your problem. You’re in exactly the same position you were in before we met, but somehow, now it’s my fault.”
#3
The EU now has 1 GB of free space.
#4
People who want to share their religious or political views with you almost never want you to share yours with them.
#5
“Because it would be hilarious,” is probably not a good reason to elect someone to be president.
#6
How did we know communism was doomed from the beginning?
All the red flags.
#7
America is a country which produces citizens who will cross the ocean to fight for democracy but won’t cross the street to vote.
#8
Why do Americans choose from just two people to run for president and 50 for Miss America?
#9
If con is the opposite of pro, then isn’t Congress the opposite of progress?
#10
Bill Clinton, George W. Bush, and George Washington are on a sinking ship.
As the boat sinks, George Washington heroically shouts: “Save the women!”
George W. Bush hysterically hollers: “Screw the women!”
Bill Clinton asks excitedly: “Do we have time?
#11
The worst part about working for the department of unemployment is when you get fired you still have to show up the next day.
#12
The NSA: a government organization that actually listens to you!
#13
I don’t approve of political jokes… I’ve seen too many of them get elected.
#14
Stop repeat offenders. Don’t re-elect them!
#15
A Scotsman who was driving home one night, ran into a car driven by an Englishman. The Scotsman got out of the car to apologize and offered the Englishman a drink from a bottle of whisky. The Englishman was glad to have a drink. “Go on,” said the Scot, “have another drink.” The Englishman drank gratefully. “But don’t you want one, too?” he asked the Scotsman. “Perhaps,” replied the Scotsman, “after the police have gone.”
#16
The Olympics remind us that no matter what country we may be from, we all look dumb using an iPad as a camera.
#17
They should build the wall with Hillary’s emails because nobody can get over them.
#18
I remember when Halloween was the scariest night of the year. Now, it’s Election night.
#19
Kid: Dad, I want to be in politics when I grow up.
Dad: Are you insane? Have you completely lost your mind? Are you a moron?
Kid: Forget it. There seems to be too many requirements.
#20
What do you call a lawyer with an IQ of 100?
Your Honor.
What do you call a lawyer with an IQ of 50?
Senator.
#21
Whats the difference between a politician and a snail?
One is slimy, a pest, and leaves a trail everywhere and the other is a snail.
#22
Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it, misdiagnosing it and then misapplying the wrong remedies.
#23
After numerous rounds of, “We don’t know if Osama is still alive,” Osama himself decided to send Ted Kennedy a letter in his own handwriting to let him know he was still in the game. Kennedy opened the letter which appeared to contain a single line of coded message, 370HSSV-0773H. Kennedy was baffled, so he e-mailed it to John Kerry. Kerry and his aides had no clue either, so they sent it to the FBI. Noone could solve it at the FBI, so it went to the CIA, then to the NSA. With no clue as to its meaning, the FBI finally asked Marine Corps Intelligence for help. Within a few seconds the Marine Corps cabled back with this reply, “Tell Kennedy he’s holding the message upside down.”
#24
Politics is the most accurate word in the English language.
Poly = many. Ticks = blood sucking parasites.
#25
Instead of giving a politician the keys to the city, it might be better to change the locks.
#26
What’s the difference between baseball and politics? In baseball you’re out if you’re caught stealing.
#27
Why can’t Trump go to White house anymore? It’s FOR BIDEN.
#28
Politicians are people who, when they see light at the end of the tunnel, go out and buy some more tunnel.
#29
War doesn’t determine who’s right, only who is left.
#30
Why is England the wettest country?
Because so many kings and queens have been reigning there.
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