The trope of a toxic mother-in-law is extremely overused in the media. We’ve all heard countless tales of cruel moms who refuse to accept their daughters-in-law or who go out of their way to turn their lives into a living hell. But unfortunately, this doesn’t only happen on television and in movies.
One woman reached out to Reddit to share some stories about the worst things her mother-in-law has ever done to her. But instead of simply biting her tongue, the author decided that it was time to get some petty revenge on her husband’s stepmother. Below, you’ll find all of the details, as well as some of the replies that invested readers left for the author.
This woman has always had a difficult relationship with her husband’s stepmother
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So eventually, she decided that it was time for the mom’s toxic behavior to have consequences
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magnific / Magnific (not the actual photo)
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RDNE Stock project / Pexels (not the actual photo)
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Married women tend to experience more conflicts with their mother-in-law than with their own mom
Both stepmothers and mothers-in-law have reputations of being toxic, so the author of this story seems to have been cursed with the worst combination of both imaginable. It is quite common for women to experience conflicts with their mother-in-law, but this situation is on the more extreme end.
According to a 2022 study, both men and women report having more issues with their mothers-in-law than with their own moms, and mothers report experiencing more conflict with their daughters-in-law than with their own daughters.
Meanwhile, psychologist Terri Apter has found through her research on the subject that 60% of married women say their spouse’s mother has caused them long-term unhappiness and stress. At the same time, two-thirds of daughters-in-law believe that their husband’s mom frequently exhibits jealous, maternal love towards her son.
Three-quarters of couples also admit that they have experienced issues with an in-law. But these conflicts typically surround the women in the family, as only 15% of mother-in-law/son-in-law relationships are described as tense.
As far as why so many moms are unwelcoming towards their daughters-in-law, Madeleine A. Fugère, PhD, explains in a piece for Psychology Today that sometimes it’s simply because she is not who the mother would have chosen for her child.
It might not be anything about the daughter-in-law specifically, but if the mom had a specific vision of who her child would end up with (where they were from, what kind of career they have, etc.), she might refuse to accept her.
Sometimes it’s also difficult for a mother to accept her child’s partner if she is too attractive. This may make the mom worry that one day the daughter-in-law will cheat on her child or leave him for someone else. In most aspects of life, being attractive comes along with pretty privilege. But sometimes, good looks can be intimidating.
bokodi / Magnific (not the actual photo)
Some mothers will never accept their son’s wife, no matter she does
Unfortunately, it’s also common for moms to become jealous of their son’s wife. They’re not used to having to compete for attention or resources, so it can be difficult for some mothers to accept that they’re no longer the most important woman in their son’s life.
Now, if you get married, you’ll have no control over whether or not your mother-in-law is a nightmare. But there are some strategies that you can deploy to make dealing with a toxic mother-in-law a bit more bearable.
ChoosingTherapy recommends first making sure that you communicate openly with your partner. You may have to word things delicately, as you are talking about their mom, but it’s important that you’re both on the same page. They might not have even noticed how toxic their mother’s behavior has been.
It’s also a good idea to set realistic expectations for your relationship with your mother-in-law. She’s likely never going to change, so don’t put pressure on yourself to become friends with her. Understand that you may have to keep your distance from her, and that’s okay. Try not to take anything she does or says personally.
Practicing self-care is also crucial when dealing with a difficult mother-in-law. Don’t let her behavior take a toll on your mental health or well-being. Remember to take care of yourself.
We would love to hear your thoughts on this situation in the comments below, pandas. Do you think the author’s petty revenge and malicious compliance were justified? Then, if you’re interested in checking out another article from Bored Panda featuring similar family drama, look no further than right here.
Readers found the stories incredibly amusing and applauded the author for standing up to her mother-in-law
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