The happiest day of your life, your wedding, could always have been a bit brighter and brighter in your daydreams. At least, that’s what some people tell themselves during a moment of honesty when they look back at the occasion with their hindsight goggles on (remember, they always make your vision 20/20).
Reddit users frequenting the r/AskWomen subreddit have been opening up about some of the things they would love to have changed about their wedding day if only they could go back in time. In the viral thread, the women are offering a wealth of advice for brides-to-be. It’s thoroughly eye-opening to see how many things can potentially go wrong during the ceremony and reception. Things that you possibly wouldn’t even think of, unless you’ve already racked up the experience.
We’ve collected some of the best and most honest insights that internet users shared about their weddings, so take a peek if you’re curious, and don’t forget to upvote the answers that you found illuminating. Though with everything said and done, we do have to remember this simple fact—no wedding will ever be ‘perfect.’ All manner of things will go wrong, but, at the end of the day, it’s your love for one another that should be the focus. Not the photographer, place settings, and band.
The author of the original thread, Alyssa, aka u/Puzzleheaded-Yam-411, revealed to Bored Panda that she will be having her own wedding in May 2022, and was hoping for some advice from other brides. “I have found it so difficult to plan our wedding on my own. I wanted to get some advice from fellow brides on what they found helped them with the big day that might alleviate some of the pressure. Especially on the actual day, what they found important to remember,” she told me in an exclusive interview.
In Alyssa’s opinion, there isn’t such a thing as ‘perfect’ wedding because everyone has their own idea of what this entails. “Plus, it is so much better when your wedding is original and different! That’s what people will remember about it,” she mused. “Our wedding is in May 2022, and we know, just like in life, some things won’t go just as we planned. Ours was originally booked for 2021! It may be difficult on the day, but as long as you focus on what is the most important aspect, each other, then everything else will fade into the background. I won’t lie and say it won’t be stressful, but I’m sure a glass or two of champagne will wash that stress away!” Scroll down for Bored Panda’s full chat with Alyssa as well as for my interview about wedding problems with Anna and Sarah, Team Leaders at The Wedding Society.
#1
Married someone else
Image source: Bebe_Bleau, Zoriana Stakhniv
#2
My ex husband loves to have fun at my expense. When we cut the cake, I tried to playfully get icing on his nose. He ducked, avoiding me, didn’t even take a bite of the cake, then he grabbed a handful of cake and rubbed it into my hair. It took everything in me to not cry in front of the 150 people there. I put on the performance of a lifetime. I feigned a laugh and acted like it was all in good fun. I wish I had just let my tears fall and simply asked him in front of everyone “why would you do that?” In reality, I should have never married him, and then I should have left years before I did. But here we are. I don’t necessarily regret that (we had beautiful children), but I always wish I had stood up for myself.
Image source: NotSoEasyGoing, Brent Keane
#3
I would NOT have told anybody my wedding plans. Like just not offered any info whenever I was asked how wedding planning was going, and just say I was keeping it a surprise.
My mother in law and sister in law lost their s**t over my flower selection. My mom told me I was an embarrassment over my catering selection (mind you my husband and I paid for everything ourselves). When showing my aunt my Pinterest board for wedding dresses she literally said “I know your style is better than this, these are terrible, it’s a good thing I caught it before you bought anything”. Everyone felt that they knew better than us. Up until the morning of our wedding day these women were trying to pressure me into making changes and spending money i didn’t have.
I still did everything I wanted and the day was lovely and everyone enjoyed/behaved themselves. but I just could have saved myself a ton a misery if I had only kept my mouth shut about my plans. I wish instead wasting all my energy on defending my choices, apologizing, and then second-guessing my plans, I spent that time enjoying being engaged. It seems petty because it only a one-day event. But seeing how judgmental and pushy they all were in trying to bully me into each of their own specific tastes really opened my eyes, and has caused a bit of a “strain in those relationships” (read: I’m no longer the easy to manipulate pushover they all needed me to be).
Image source: CatherineO1, Terje Sollie
#4
My sister said she wished someone had packed her and her husband an extra to-go box of the food served at the wedding. She said they barely ate dinner because they were busy talking to people and they had an addrenial rush and not much of an appetite. They were starving when they got to their hotel.
Image source: iTouchedTheRat, Ella Olsson
#5
It would’ve been much smaller and I would’ve told my dad that he wasnt planning it. I was 19 and my husband was 21 so we had no money but were in love. My dad decided since the FOB pays, then it’s HIS wedding so whatever he wants is what I got.
If I could go back, I would’ve had a budget wedding with maybe 40 friends/family of MY choosing instead of 200 people that I’ll never see again. Different gown (no train or veil this time). And REAL flowers instead of fake ones.
I also wouldn’t have had it in a church. I’m not religious but was guilt-tripped into going to pre-cana classes at the church and having the ceremony there. I would’ve taken most of the “traditional” elements out.
Side Note: I still have a good relationship with my dad AND my husband and I have been married almost 20 yrs now. So really bottom line… the wedding day doesnt matter. It’s all the days after it that matter.
Image source: KttyLn, Jeremy Wong Weddings
#6
I would have gotten married at 11am!
I spent so much time being nervous to walk down the aisle (because of all the people). I spent literally half the day being nervous! Get married in the morning so you can spend the rest of the day partying and having fun on your wedding day!
Image source: nkabatoff, Jeremy Wong
#7
Hired a photographer.
We eloped with siblings as witnesses because of some messy parent stuff. I really wish we would have hired someone to take a few posed pictures at the park or something.
Image source: treemanswife, Pixabay
#8
I would have made sure to plan a bit of alone time for myself the day of. I didn’t get even 5 minutes to just be by myself before my wedding, to breathe or reflect or generally be in the moment. That morning was a blur of people and activity. I found it exhausting to have some kind of audience for an entire day, sunrise to well after sunset. A moment to happily freak out about the fact that holy s**t, I’m about to get married! with no one watching would have been awesome.
Image source: emutes
#9
Remembered to take a change of clothes with me to the hotel so I didn’t have to leave the next morning in my wedding dress like some kind of crazy-ass walk of shame
Image source: aimeed72, Artem Beliaikin
#10
Everything. Wanted a lavender dress but I was young and told I had to wear white. I would have it in an old bldg, gothic style with a garden outside for pics, pro photographer and very few people. Taco and margarita bar for the win next time if ever.
Image source: LeighofMar, Tai’s Captures
#11
Remembered to grab my bouquet. It was sitting on the coffee table all day. Now we just laugh about it – I spent hundreds of hours crocheting it for it to be left at home.
Image source: RainingRabbits, Anna Shvets
#12
Would’ve gotten a dress that made me feel like a goddess. Mine was pretty but white ain’t my color and it could’ve been better. Also, don’t do strapless.
Image source: AccordingClassroom58, Jonathan Borba
#13
Chosen different bridesmaids. I had six. Two are still in my life and four left in two separate s**tty incidents. I hate most of my wedding photos now
Image source: ThatDamnedDame, Dewey gallery
#14
Worn comfortable shoes
Image source: Crazyexgirlfriend19, Nathan J Hilton
#15
Sometimes I wish it wouldn’t have had to happen during a global pandemic, but honestly it turned out so beautiful anyway that I wouldn’t change a thing.
Image source: celestialism, Jeremy Wong Weddings
#16
It’s going to sound rough but I wouldn’t have worried about inviting most of my family. It turned out to be more of a fiasco than it was worth. We had the whole thing at our house and it was amazing, except my mother and some other members refused to communicate when or even if they were attending until the evening before. I knew my mother was likely to derail the day by giving the silent treatment and then just showing up and expecting applause. I felt sort of shamed into inviting them when I should have just been confident with the decision in my heart that I just didn’t need her there that day.
Other than that, I was so happy we had a small wedding by our garden and damn the desserts were so good…
Image source: LunarLutra, Tembela Bohle
#17
Not included my MIL in any of the planning/decorating what so ever! She forgot who’s wedding it really was and turned into a mom-zilla.
Image source: mainegirl91
#18
Actually saved our vows. I have zero copies of it and neither of us remembers what all we said. Ugh.
Image source: Meggerhun, Emma Bauso
#19
Left my mil out of alllll of the planning… omg she had an issue with everything. We got the tuxes for the groomsmen and the dads and the dads wore black. Well she said “I’ll go with dad when he gets his because i want him to match me” she wore purple. We said no 94835 times abs she was not happy. Then she needed a limo to get back and forth. She was way too involved and barely paid for anything.
Image source: sherlock—-75, Nathan Cowley
#20
I wouldn’t have drank so much. I had loads of fun which is good but I wish I’d have been a bit more sober.
Image source: Flaky_Caterpillar_15, cottonbro
#21
Breathed. Slowed down. Spent more time with each person. Stopped worrying about all the things I couldn’t control. (It hailed and then poured rain on my outdoor wedding)
Image source: Ahnamal, Jeremy Wong
#22
I wish I’d had someone record the toasts. I didn’t want video of the rest of it, but I wish I could remember what the best man, my uncle, etc actually said.
I am VERY glad I got myself a dress to match my bridesmaids for the reception. We did out first dance and the father/daughter dance, then I excused myself to change. I was wearing more comfortable shoes, could dance easier, and wasn’t paranoid every time I had food or drink in my hand.
Image source: Mirtai12345
#23
I would have slept in my own bed with my husband the night before.
I have a hard time sleeping, especially when I am feeling anxious/have a lot on my mind or when I’m in an unfamiliar place. I rented a small hotel room with my sister MOH and mom to “follow the tradition” and ended up getting 3ish hours of sleep off and on.
I was totally exhausted all day and we ended up going home earlier than I wanted bc I literally could not keep my eyes open. When I was checking into hotel the night before I had a bad feeling I wasn’t going to sleep well and I really wanted to just go home and sleep in my own bed. We had a small non traditional wedding due to covid restriction in my province and I had it stuck in my head I needed the tradition of not seeing each other until our first look.
I also would have forced myself to scarf down a breakfast even though I was feeling anxiety nausea, and brought more snacks to eat before the ceremony.
Image source: sroges, Daria Shevtsova
#24
I would have waited 5 years.
Not because I regret marrying him, we are still together and still in love, and not necessarily because I was too young to be married (I was 21) but because I was a very different person at 26. We live in a different state now, and our lives are way different to when we were married. I have met so many more people and formed so many wonderful relationships with them, I’m actually sad they weren’t at my wedding.
I would have held it in a different location, one that suited my personality more because I like different things now that I’m older. The venue we chose was lovely but in the end, it didn’t feel personal, it was just a place to be married.
I also have far different taste in style now, and have hobbies that I would have liked to see included in my day.
So, short answer is I wish I waited to know exactly who I was before getting married, but I don’t regret it entirely. I still married the man I love, and that’s all that matters
Image source: YoureNotAGenius, Pixabay
#25
Have the posed cutesy/spicy pictures done on a different day. Scheduling all that on a day that you’re supposed to celebrate is honestly a drag and felt like a job.
I would have just done it at the park, and had the reception at my favorite resturant. Organizing furniture and dishes and decorations to bring all of it on site was a job.
just do anything that doesn’t make it feel like I worked instead of just enjoying my wedding day.
Image source: phorayz, Lưu Đức Anh
#26
less people
spent less money
should’ve asked guests to take home the flowers (centerpieces, etc) because they were so beautiful and filled our tiny apartment before we abandoned them to die while on our honeymoon
should’ve steamed the antique veil before wearing it. I was so afraid of wrecking my grandmother’s veil that I didn’t take it out of its box until right before I walked down the aisle
less staged family photos and more candids
But… I’m an introvert and would’ve happily eloped. My husband loved the big party and I’d do it all again just the same to see him that happy.
Image source: Fickle_Caterpillar16
#27
Following, because I look forward to my big day (whenever it happens lol) and I want to know what I shouldn’t waste time/money on.
My best friend got married in august. She interestingly said she would have eloped, and had more of a “party”/“gathering after. She said she still would have worn a cute dress, just nothing as uncomfortable and expensive as a bridal gown. She said she wishes she saved money and scrapped the whole walking down the aisle portion altogether. She would have instead put the ceremony money towards a nicer honeymoon than the one they’re going on (Disney world).
I kind of consider doing that sometimes.
Image source: iflssm97
#28
I wouldn’t have had my dad walk me down the aisle. He was late, left early, and tried to make the whole thing about him.
Image source: Etherealamoeba
#29
Hired a professional photographer. The one I got was recommended by a friend and only $100 (I was too young and inexperienced to realize this was a red flag).
She rushed us around the day of, left early, then we NEVER GOT THE PICTURES. We paid in full plus a tip, waited for months, contacted her again and again, but nothing. Not even a refund.
To this day, I only have candid pictures taken by family and friends. I’ve come to terms with it… and at least the marriage is going great. We celebrated 10 years recently.
Image source: LampGrass
#30
Taken more photos for myself. We eloped and I made a point of not using my phone the entire day and now I wish I had photos of the food we ate and just low key shots of husband. All we got were overly staged photos where we felt awkward having to pose so much in unnatural ways.
Image source: valerieswrld
Follow Us
