As a student, you can show up to class with your homework done, notes organized, and your head straight, and still see something totally unexpected. Oftentimes, it’s thanks to the person in front of the blackboard.
American art historian and lawyer Erin L. Thompson asked people online to share their teachers’ most memorable phrases, and I think even she wasn’t ready for the number of replies that poured in. These clever puns, savage roasts, and poetic observations are the reason you shouldn’t skip school!
#1
I told him my dream was to be a singer. He said “with that voice?” Then he studied my face and said “not with that face either!”.
Image source: eilletane, Vitaly Gariev
#2
For me was: “Class, try your best to learn because your government wants you to be stupid”. It still keeps me awake at night sometimes, 20 years later….
Image source: LordFumeitor, Max Fischer
#3
While in a computer graphics class the professor was explaining the math behind something and it was going over our heads a bit so we started zoning out. He noticed we lost our focus so he said “Come on guys it’s not rocket science.” And then he paused and thought for a second before continuing “Actually this is used in rocket science so pay attention!”.
Image source: pnt510, Tra Nguyen
#4
I said “I could be wrong, but isn’t it xyz?” to a question the teacher asked and nobody knew the answer to. He was a hardass and would not move on until someone answered, so I threw a guess out.
He said “Well, you’re right. You *are* wrong.”.
Image source: Sterling_-_Archer, Getty Images
#5
I have some errands to run while you do your quiz. If, for some reason, you feel the need to cheat on a 12th-grade drama class quiz, you probably have a personal problem I can’t help you with.
Image source: unklethan, RDNE Stock project
#6
A teacher once told me, “Nobody’s going to pay you to stare out a window.”
Well… I became an Air Traffic Controller and got paid very well to do just that.
Image source: SirSkyDivine, Mason Dahl
#7
“You’ll never make your true fortune working for someone else” -economics professor.
Image source: Chomps-Lewis, fauxels
#8
“You have to know where the box is in order to think outside of it”. There was more to it but that was the essence.
Image source: DarkflowNZ, Tima Miroshnichenko
#9
“That was a rather astute answer considering you didn’t read the book”.
Image source: DragonSurferEGO, Pavel Danilyuk
#10
Our P.E. teacher said to a girl “Brooke, you’re supposed to put makeup on, not dip your face in it.” At the time was hilarious, but in retrospect I feel bad for Brooke getting called out like that.
Image source: lusty-argonian, cottonbro studio
#11
My friend’s teacher once told her “The wheel is turning but the hamster is dead.”.
Image source: frabjous_goat, Christina Morillo
#12
‘In a word, no. In two words, no no.’ —AP Lit teacher.
Image source: Jbales8990, Christina Morillo
#13
My sixth-grade teacher told me I have the attention span of a French fry.
Image source: Entity644, Glady Francis
#14
I was failing calculus my senior year. My teacher came up to me and said “Fergee, I honestly don’t think it’s mathematically possible for you to pass this class.”
I said “Are you sure?”
He sighed and said “Yes Fergee, I’m sure. I’m a calculus teacher.”.
Image source: NoFliesOnFergee, Taylor Flowe
#15
Me and thirteen other of the “best and brightest” in my suburban high school were in “AP Calculus A”, the most advanced math that you could study in that school. Our teacher, Mr Yingst, was going over some parts of projective geometry and, as we struggled, he remarked – “A 14 year old French kid living in the 17th century came up with this and you are having trouble figuring it out. You aren’t that smart.” It was exactly what kids in our position needed to hear.
Image source: Top-Cupcake4775
#16
My math teacher once told me “Dont try to understand math, just use the formula and calculate.” My math grades actually improved after this wisdom 😂.
Image source: Hanfkuh, Kateryna Hliznitsova
#17
My Calculus professor was writing on the board when a student sneezed.
Without missing a beat, he said,
“Are you allergic to my class?”
I couldn’t stop laughing.
Image source: New-Dot1579
#18
Biology teacher: ‘Hey (classmate) put your phone away before I take it.’
Classmate: ‘I don’t have my phone miss’
Teacher: I observed chimpansees for 3 months in order to graduate, I know when you are using your phone’.
Image source: Fast-Albatross-9413
#19
Me: “Sorry for being late.”
Teacher: “No worries, sorry for starting on time.”
Image source: morrsken
#20
‘Write what you’re thinking. Don’t think about what to write.’ —English teacher from 20 years ago.
Image source: CashFlowOrBust
#21
“Think about being 40. All of the things you would be at this age. The jobs you’d have. The places you’d been. The sights you’ve seen. The accomplishments you made.
Now, understand the difference between you and me in this situation. You have to imagine it. I remember it.”
– My 8th grade Literature teacher, for some reason.
Image source: A_Very_Brave_Taco
#22
“An apology has three parts. “I’m sorry”, “It was my fault”, and “How can I fix it?” Anything less and they are full of bologna.”.
Image source: ApprehensiveWar6046
#23
It wasn’t me, and I don’t even remember the question, but my HS Earth Science teacher asked a question to the kid in the back who clearly wasn’t paying attention and he responded: “uhh, 7”
And my teacher was like: “Hmmm a NUMERICAL response . Interesting— but the answer is Sedimentary”
Still cracks me up randomly.
Image source: Mlabonte21
#24
I had a teacher in high school named Mr Pregenzer that also played for the SF Giants in the 60’s. He once said to me with his loud booming voice, “Moore, if you were as smart as you are loud you’d be the biggest genius in the room!”.
Image source: Bhagwan9797
#25
High school physics teacher like to scream: “This isn’t Burger King math, you can’t have it your way!!!”.
Image source: StLguy25
#26
My 3rd grade teacher told me that my clay vase was terrible, so now I’m a professional artist. Never underestimate the power of spite.
Image source: NoNipNicCage
#27
My old physics teacher took me into an empty room once, held up two blank sheets of paper and said: “this one on the left is the girlfriend you’ll get if you put more effort in, and on the right is the girlfriend you’ll get if you don’t. You get what I’m saying?” No sir, I still don’t to this day.
Image source: largepoggage
#28
My AP English teacher told me “you grow flowers on your bullshit” after reading one of my essays. I think it was the first time a teacher used the “s-word” in front of me.
It’s still one of my favorite compliments.
Image source: zardozLateFee
#29
“if anyone of you have any comments, write it on a price of paper and put it in the suggestion box” while pointing at the recycling bin
Image source: FlyingVMoth
#30
‘Nothing gets by me. I can hear the grass grow.’ —Random substitute teacher.
Image source: Even-Design5983
#31
‘Put it in your brain and remember it.’
Image source: tampaginga
#32
‘Sarcasm doesn’t suit you.’ That shut me up for the rest of the class and I still remember it to this day.
Image source: El_Wreino
#33
My government teacher said, ‘If you make the rules, then you will always win.’ Oof.
Image source: Dirukari3
#34
My french teacher asking me to see her after class just to ask “are you dyslexic?”… I’m not, french is just a difficult language.
Also had a substitute teacher say “it’s not illegal if you don’t get caught”, which is just beautiful advice to live by.
Image source: CoolAddition8679
#35
“Does anyone know the answer? Anyone? Anyone, but Important Tomato? Anyone? No?… Sigh. Ok. Important Tomato?…. Ya, that’s right.”
I was *that* student.
Image source: Important-Tomato2306
#36
“everything is either Gas, Liquid, or Solid . . .”
*Puts hand up* “but Miss, what’s fire?”
“Shut up and don’t ask stupid questions”
That put an end to me engaging in science lessons for 2 years, and honestly, now I look back I think she responded like that because she didn’t actually know because the textbook for year 7 didn’t tell her . . .
Image source: KamakaziDemiGod
#37
“Clear as mud, but it covers the ground”. I say that in my head whenever someone explains something that I don’t quite get, but I have a general idea of.
Image source: tickingkitty
#38
Math teacher at start of class: Okay quick question. True or false? If a function approaches infinity when approaching zero from the positive side and negative infinity when approaching zero from the negative side, then the limit is zero.
Me: True!
Math teacher: No, but good guess.
Image source: sorenlarrington
#39
First grade spelling bee. The word was star and I said, “S T A R” and my teacher kept looking at me like she was waiting for me to finish. So I looked at her and said “E?”. She then said “that’s incorrect. It’s S T A R.” And I
Don’t think I will ever forget that.
Next would have to be my senior year English teacher when she found out who I was bringing to prom. “[my name], that is so stupid and you are smarter than that”. To give her credit she was definitely correct. Last time I saw her was at the grocery store and we laughed till we cried. Two weeks later she was in the hospital due to complications from Covid and passed shortly after that.
Image source: BossAvery2
#40
High school language arts teacher giving us a lecture on grammar: “there is a big difference between a man who is hung and a man who is hanged”.
Image source: Bless-this-mess-
#41
“Never pray for patience” is seared into my brain for some unknown reason. I didn’t fully understand that as a kid, but now I am a very patient person, and I agree 100%. There is only 1 way to develop patience – long-suffering. What is long-suffering? It’s exactly what it says on the tin.
Image source: Available_Type1514
#42
Me: *raises my hand at a question*
Physics teacher: “Oh, I know you know it, , give a chance to the rest too.”.
Image source: creeper6530
#43
When talking about cultures and psychology: “There is no such thing as weird, only different”.
Image source: laosuna
#44
Third grade, my teacher was over the school yearbook. She was putting it together one day in class and she let us all stand around her desk to watch. I saw a picture of myself and said “there I go!” excitedly. She rudely said “where are you going?”. I get that she was trying to correct my grammar but the way she said it, embarrassed me in front of the class. I was no longer excited and stayed quiet the rest of the day. This was like 1980 and I still think about that day.
Image source: MitaJoey20
#45
A journalism professor: You are obviously from a blue-collar background as you don’t know what words mean. Subscribe to the New York Times, circle words you don’t know and look them up.
I did. Worked as a journalist for 25 years.
Image source: cleverdabber
#46
In response to me cursing, he said try to find words that equally express your frustration.
Image source: Silient_Qiller
#47
‘Don’t be sorry. Be different.’
Image source: Luucccc
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