Growing up and becoming a productive member of society can mean different things, but it usually involves learning a bunch of skills that make you more self-sufficient. And yet, despite your independence, society also puts a lot of pressure on you to conform and have specific ambitions. However, definitely not every goal is worth the time and effort.
In a very frank discussion on AskReddit, internet users shared what they believe are the most overrated adult goals that just aren’t worth it. Check out their insights. They’re a reminder to focus on what truly matters, not just what others convince you to do.
#1
Turning every single hobby into a ‘side hustle.’ The internet has convinced us that if you’re good at something, you *must* monetize it. No, Sarah, I don’t want to start an Etsy shop for my paintings. I just want to be mediocre at something for fun without checking my profit margins or SEO. Not everything needs to be a business.
Image source: JulMayoooo, Benoît Deschasaux
#2
Having everything “figured out” by a certain age. Life doesn’t work on a schedule, and chasing that illusion just creates unnecessary pressure and comparison.
Image source: Life-Contest-1590, Getty Images
#3
– The idea that you need to be passionate about your career and do what you love. Sometimes a job is just a paycheck that funds the life you actually want to live. There’s nothing wrong with being mediocre at work if you’re thriving elsewhere.
– Retirement at 60/65 – working until X age and then suddenly stopping is arbitrary. The traditional retirement script doesn’t fit everyone.
Image source: viedoklis, Getty Images
In terms of actual skills that you need as a grown-up, you can focus on everything and anything that increases your self-sufficiency. It’s important to be self-sufficient to the point that you can take care of (most) of your needs. That means learning how to cook, clean, do your taxes, apply for jobs, vote, do basic budgeting, etc.
However, when it comes to your ambitions, they are often very personal. While it’s useful to get other people’s input on your aspirations, their personal goals might not sync up with yours. Furthermore, reaching your goals can take vastly different amounts of time depending on your strategy, efforts, and even luck. One person’s timeline doesn’t mean everyone’s timeline.
#4
Being famous. It looks hellish to me. Even when I fantasise about winning the Euromillions, part of that daydream involves how to keep such a win anonymous as possible!
Image source: bytheoceansedge, Clem Onojeghuo
#5
Confusing being busy with being important.
Image source: skarface9, Getty Images
#6
“Keeping up with the Joneses” in.
Image source: bejusorixo, Fox 2000 Pictures
Finding the right balance between independence and conformity can be a messy challenge sometimes.
On the one hand, it’s great to be self-sufficient. You’re more proactive, able to help others, and you can rely on yourself when things get tough. But being hyper-independent to the point of pushing other people away just isn’t productive. Human beings need strong social connections to thrive, not just survive. Besides, we all need help from time to time, even though we don’t always want to admit it.
On the other hand, we’re hardwired for sociability, empathy, and living in a group. And that requires a significant amount of conformity. It would be exhausting if you constantly clashed with the other members of your social circle over everything. That being said, you’ll end up feeling frustrated and empty if you set your personality and uniqueness aside and only ever focus on the activities and goals that others convince you are important.
#7
Buying stuff to prove you’ve ‘made it’ while quietly burning out..
Image source: Separate-Simple-5101, Getty Images
#8
Having kids.
Image source: zewolfstone, Cassidy Rowell
#9
I am Almost 40, decently educated, work for myself as a consultant.
I don’t have a Girlfriend, haven’t had one for 7 years.
I am not Married. No kids.
The amount of Side Eyes and Comments I get is scary. Even from people my age or slightly Younger, not just the old “traditional” ones.
Everyone assumes I should have ” reached the Social Goal” of Married with 2.5 kids by now. Its like I am Green with a tail, from Neptune.
I have a Cat, who is my Best friend, I am quite happy, and it doesn’t bother me as much as it seems to bother everyone else.
Social standards have not evolved for the modern times.
Image source: orbit99za, Aakash Malik
We’d like to hear your thoughts in the comments, dear Pandas. What do you think are some popular grown-up goals that you believe are a complete waste of time? Why do you think that is?
What are some must-have skills for any adult to have? How do you find a good balance between independence and social conformity?
Tell us all about it!
#10
“Being your own boss”. People look at owners of already successful businesses and think that is what starting your own business i like.
Unless you are already rich and is able to just pay other people to do all the work, starting and owning your own business means you spend every waking hour working to keep your business afloat.
Image source: EnycmaPie, Andrej Lišakov
#11
Flying a lot for work.
Image source: Ok_Raspberry_seven, Getty Images
#12
Having a job that requires you to work a lot so you seem busy.
Image source: idamarie_r, Getty Images
#13
Working a full-time, Monday thru Friday, 8 to 5 job that confines you to an office for 40+ years.
Image source: SweetToothYandere, Vitaly Gariev
#14
Children.
It’s not overrated to those who want them, but I don’t get the obsession with pushing it on others.
Image source: lotusscrouse, Jessica Rockowitz
#15
Getting a six pack. Takes bloody ages, it’s difficult to maintain and does not make you happier.
Image source: Exotic_Apple_4517, Getty Images
#16
Dare I say getting married?
Image source: Manu_fermecatul, Victoria Priessnitz
#17
Spending a house down-payment on a single-day wedding. People go into debt just to impress relatives they don’t even like, instead of using that money to build a life together.
Image source: TechGeek_Amit, Omar Lopez
#18
Having a job with a lot of pressure and responsibility.
Image source: BallKey7607, Getty Images
#19
Achieving “success” in the traditional sense.
What’s cool about being an adult is getting to choose for yourself what success looks like. It doesn’t have to involve tons of money, or a prestigious career, or being surrounded by the most popular and beautiful people. .
Image source: Aus_with_the_Sauce, Getty Images
#20
Earning lots of money and becoming famous.
Image source: Looser17, en Iwara
#21
Prestige. It doesn’t matter. Fancy awards, fancy schools, fancy titles. None of that matters. Financial security, ethics, being happy in your own skin and what you do every day matters.
Image source: HoneybeeXYZ, Getty Images
#22
Buying a house. Would be nice if you can but it doesn’t make you a failure if you can’t. Especially in this economy.
Image source: ryanorion16, https://unsplash.com/photos/a-man-and-two-women-standing-in-an-empty-room-0eO2MSFuYws
#23
Being “happy” all the time. News flash – life is all ups and downs. There’s good and there’s bad, there are achievements and there are setbacks. And yeah, sometimes it’s depressing. This applies no matter who you are.
Image source: TooOldToBePunk, Lala Azizli
#24
I find that chasing after social status is pretty overrated. True fulfillment comes from personal growth, not what others think.
Image source: NightshadeNectars, Curated Lifestyle
#25
Home ownership.
People look at you cockeyed if you say you DGAF about buying a highly leveraged, illiquid, and undiverse asset that simultaneously acts as a lifestyle choice.
Image source: AmbitiousYam1047, Roger Starnes Sr
#26
Making adult friends. Maybe that’s the loser in me.
I like people. I like my coworkers, I get on well with most folks I meet. I don’t mind a chat or even having a weird bond.
But I don’t want to hang out with people like that, anymore. I have very few slots open in my precious little downtime and they are for groceries and naps.
Image source: littlewing2733, Getty Images
#27
Marriage and having kids. to the point where people are so desperate to just be with someone (even if they don’t love them) so they can achieve this goal.
Image source: noodlealr, Eugenia Pan’kiv
#28
Owning all the latest gadgets. Happiness doesn’t come in a new iPhone.
Image source: Unusual_Report4852
#29
Getting married, having children, having a mortgage, having a full-time job. All 4 of these are varying levels of traps that limit your freedom.
Image source: denkmusic
#30
New cars every few years.
Image source: integraled
#31
Buying a nice car.
They are a box with wheels that get you from A to B – it should be as cheap and practical as possible.
Image source: Peg_leg_J
#32
Traveling to other countries. It’s not for everyone and that’s okay.
But I’ve spoken to people and it’s clear they only travel because it’s what their peers do. Also to post on social media.
Image source: sodakittens
#33
Anything job or career oriented. If you get run over by a bus today, your job will be advertised tomorrow. You’ll be replaced within a week, and just a character in a couple of old stories within a few months. You really, truly, don’t matter to your employer. You matter to your family and friends.
Image source: leviathan0999
#34
Moving to the suburbs.
Image source: notPabst404
#35
People making their career their whole identity. Im not saying don’t enjoy your work but there was a time I got laid off where I learned to value other things while searching for a job that aligned with my skills.
Image source: thegabster2000
#36
Getting PhDs and Doctorate degree.
Image source: IceSeeker
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