Parents should work hard at choosing a name for their child. It can impact the baby’s life well into adulthood, too.
“There is a reason why baby name books are extremely popular,” said David Figlio, who at the time was the Orrington Lunt Professor and Dean of the School of Education and Social Policy at Northwestern University.
“We’re always trying to think about the first bit of a child’s identity and so if we as a society pay a lot of attention to names it makes a lot of sense that people’s names might influence how they think about themselves and the way in which people might think about them.”
But things don’t always go to plan. Researchers discovered that one in seven parents admit they made a “terrible mistake” with the name they chose for their child.
In an attempt to find out what they sound like, we discovered a thread on Reddit, started by a person who goes on the platform by the nickname PlsDontBanMe. They asked everyone “What name screams ‘my parents don’t like me?” and got over 4,000 answers.
#1
There was a girl in my high school named Chastity.
She didn’t even know why it was ironic when she got pregnant at 16.
Image source: OwlCoffee, Kelly Sikkema
#2
Met a girl called Constance Paine. Really had to wonder what her parents were thinking.
Image source: Tea-radactyl, Caleb Woods
#3
XæA-12
Image source: stmfetty44, grimes
#4
Phelonie – that poor child.
Image source: thewharfartscenter_, Alexander Dummer
#5
I know several.
Used to work in a jail and we had a regular inmate whose first and middle names, legally, were Baby Boy. Spring Green (first name, last name) also came in frequently.
My mom worked with a doctor…Doctor First…Doctor Safety First. But don’t worry, his parents didn’t just hate him – his sister was named Ladies.
Image source: Numerous-Mix-9775, Tima Miroshnichenko
#6
I had a neighbor with a little girl named Commodity. i dont think she disliked her kid, she was just really dumb.
Image source: quailfail666, Ben Mack
#7
Abcde-supposedly pronounced Absidy. Some might remember that this made the news a few years back.
Image source: Harleye, Brett Jordan
#8
I once met a little girl named Tilapia. I swear I’m not making this up.
Image source: manykeets, Codevasf
#9
i knew three guys from school and their parents were a******s. parents had klan stuff up in their living room on display and everything. they gave all of their kids names that started with A, and middle names that started with S, so their full initials would be A.S.S. they thought it would be hilarious, and proudly commented on this often. needless to say i felt bad for those kids. who gives all three of their kids those initials, let alone one of them?
Image source: mondayeyess, Charlein Gracia
#10
Thurman Murman
Image source: Grief-Inc, Francesco Alberti
#11
If their first name is the same as their last name.
William Williams, Michael Michaels, Daniel Daniels, Glen Glenn, John Johnson, etc.
Image source: circusmonkeybrain, Polina Zimmerman
#12
Velveeta
Image source: TurbulentStep4399, Mike Mozart
#13
Anything ending in -aiden, using an “X” in place of “cks” (Jaxon vs Jackson), intentional misspelling of names, forcing the kid into a life of correcting the pronunciation of a name that is easy to pronounce when spelled normally, and really just anything stupid that they named a kid because it’s “unique”.
Image source: Becky1111111
#14
Elon Musk’s kids’ names are a joke.
Image source: 303Pickles
#15
I am the third of four boys My mother really wanted a girl and when she was pregnant with me she pinned all her hopes on me being a girl. This is before sonograms were common. When I came out a boy she named me Curt. Not Curtis or Kurt, Curt. Which means rude.
Image source: theColonelsc2, Anna Shvets
#16
Gunner. Not Gunnar like the Scandinavian name, or Günther like the Germanic version, but Gunner like the English word for a person who is shooting at someone.
Image source: dixiedemocrat, cottonbro studio
#17
Nevaeh
Image source: Alice-Rabbithole, Ketut Subiyanto
#18
Newt Gingrich.
Imagine having a baby, looking down into its precious face, and saying deadpan to the nurse, “Newt Gingrich. Put that on the birth certificate.”
Image source: Tough_Stomach815
#19
Going with Chinese dialect of Hokkien here..
Someone named their child “Siew Kia” which isn’t a bad name or anything in the language/dialect.. but the family name was Yao (and in Chinese names, the family name comes first)
This made the poor sod “Yao Siew Kia” which meant “baby beast” (or small animal not in a good way and is used as a derogatory term and swear word in Hokkien)
Poor guy
Image source: bearyken, Monstera Production
#20
“First Name” Junior never felt right with me. Feels narcissistic to name your child the same as yourself. It’s like he’s never gonna carve his own identity he’s always gonna be known as an extension-sequel of you
Image source: Unamericandav, Federico Giampieri
#21
Renesmee. Coworker’s granddaughter was named that.
Image source: Stay_Over_There
#22
Mune
Image source: debtopramenschultz, Skyler Ewing
#23
Any name that’s written using their syllabic pronunciation. I know of a kid whose name is Kahydiynn. Like what the f**k?
Image source: DatsunTigger, Karolina Grabowska
#24
Used to know a kid in school named Richard Ryder (Rider?) Not sure how the last name was spelled
Image source: poweredbyford87, Leeloo Thefirst
#25
Brand names
Image source: Irrespond, Jueun Song
#26
A boy named Sue.
Image source: mtthwas, Monstera Production
#27
Satan, Beelzebub, Judas
Image source: buttfook, Francesco Alberti
#28
When the firstname/lastname combination does not work for a name.
Prime example– North West (Kim Kardashian and Kanye West’s daughter). She’s either named after a direction on a map or a defunct airline (as if Kimye would fly commercial).
Image source: crazycatlady331
#29
Joey Jo-Jo Junior Shabadoo
Image source: Cuish
#30
Mine. My first name has an “r” in it. Both of my patents needed speech therapy to say that letter. I COULDN’T SAY MY OWN F*****G NAME UNTIL F*****G HIGH SCHOOL!!! There’s a reason I use my middle name. I genuinely think it was spite because I was an oopsie baby. Bullied relentlessly for years, including by my first ex and a famous comedian’s nephew.
Image source: lizziewrites
#31
Any name that is an alternative spelling or fake-Gaelic name.
Like “Jaxon” or “Graclyn.”
Image source: DeeLite04
#32
Last name was Hunt, and they still named him Michael. The poor kid.
Image source: zandeen
#33
My aunt swears that at the hospital a woman named her child A*****e pronounced A-sho-lee
Image source: vlad_inhaler
#34
Any name intentionally given by parents that’s a character from entertainment. Your kid is not a pet, car, boat, or bong.
Image source: Hutterite_mile
#35
A first name that rhymes with your last name.
Image source: Marionberry-Superb
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