Sometimes our family can be our closest friends. Other times, they can feel like our worst enemies. Sadly, this Redditor experienced the latter at the hands of her own mother.
After her grandmother passed, her mom repeatedly accused her of not visiting or supporting her enough, making the woman feel deeply guilty—despite the fact that she had visited every week. On top of that, her mother led her to believe that the grandmother hadn’t left her anything at all.
Then, months later, the truth came out. A letter revealed that she had actually been left a €15,000 inheritance all along. When she confronted her mom about it, she was met with yet another round of manipulation. Read on below to see how the story unfolded.
The woman believed her grandmother had left her nothing when she passed away
Image credits: Bizon / Freepik (not the actual photo)
Unaware that her mother had deliberately hidden the truth from her
Image credits: Pavel Danilyuk / Pexels (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Ron Lach / Pexels (not the actual photo)
Image credits: UnderstandingTop4357
Common toxic mom habits that leave a lasting impact
What a heartbreaking experience the woman at the center of this story went through. Not only did she have to mourn the loss of her grandmother, but she also had to endure months of guilt from her own mother. She was made to feel as though she had failed as a granddaughter, even though she showed up regularly.
On top of that, she was led to believe she had been left nothing behind. When the truth finally came out, it revealed that her mother had hidden a €15,000 inheritance from her and even tried to pressure her into giving it up.
When you grow up with a harmful parent, especially someone who has shaped your reality since childhood, it can be difficult to trust your own judgment. Even when something feels wrong, years of conditioning can make you question your reactions or keep seeking their approval. That is why it becomes so important to learn how to see things for what they really are and take situations at face value, even when the truth is uncomfortable.
According to Psychology Today writer Peg Streep, there are several common patterns that show up again and again in toxic maternal relationships. One of the most familiar is shaming and blaming. This often starts early, when small mistakes are turned into proof that something is wrong with the child’s character.
Over time, these messages become internalized and turn into constant self-criticism that can follow a person well into adulthood. Numerous studies have linked ongoing self-criticism to depression and anxiety.
Another common tactic is guilt-tripping. Here, the mother positions herself as the victim and reminds the child of everything she has ever done for them. This can become even more intense once the child is an adult and begins to set boundaries or pull back. The guilt is used as a way to regain control and discourage independence.
Favoritism also plays a major role in many families, but in unhealthy dynamics it is often used deliberately. Comparisons between siblings, cousins, or even strangers become a tool for control. Being told that someone else is smarter, more successful, or more lovable slowly chips away at a person’s confidence and creates lasting tension between family members.
Passive aggression is another pattern many people recognize only later in life. Instead of open confrontation, resentment is expressed through silence, sarcasm, or subtle hostility. Research has shown that growing up in environments filled with this kind of hidden conflict can lead to emotional and behavioral struggles that linger for years.
Gaslighting is especially damaging when it comes from a parent. Being told that events never happened or that your reactions are overblown can slowly disconnect you from your own sense of reality. Children are supposed to learn to trust their thoughts and feelings, but repeated denial of their experiences often replaces that trust with doubt and confusion.
Mocking and belittling are also common. Eye-rolling, laughing at emotions, or dismissing opinions teaches a child that their inner world does not matter. Even in adulthood, being treated as though your thoughts are foolish can deeply affect self-worth.
Scapegoating takes this one step further by making one person the permanent target for blame. This allows the rest of the family to avoid facing deeper problems while placing all responsibility on a single individual. Finally, stonewalling, or refusing to respond at all, is a powerful way of expressing contempt and control, especially when used by a parent.
Recognizing these patterns is often the first real step toward protecting yourself. Once you see them clearly, it becomes easier to understand that you are allowed to set limits, even with the people who raised you.
Readers felt the author should honor her grandmother’s wishes and keep the money
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