Legendary old Hollywood comedian Buster Keaton had a very specific type of persona – no matter what happened to his character during the film, no matter what ridiculous situations he got into, he always kept a “poker face” of a sort. Well, many of the characters in our selection today are somewhat similar to Buster Keaton…
Today we have the honor of presenting to you a list of three dozen stories that netizens witnessed when someone, while in public, behaved in a completely strange way. Strange – if not stupid. However, it is up to you to decide how stupid it was.
More info: Reddit
#1
I was working the front desk at a gym. An older guy swiped his card to check in at the same time as a decent-sized t**d slid out of his shorts and fell to the carpeted floor. He was about to go in to the locker room like nothing happened but I said “Sir?” and pointed at it in shock. He turned around, looked at it, picked it up in his bare hand and kept going in to the locker room like he had just picked up his keys or something.
I looked at the personal trainer next to me and we looked at each other like wtf?
Image source: BertholomewManning, The Yuri Arcurs Collection
#2
I worked at public libraries for many years and one of the most random things I’ve seen was turning a corner and seeing a woman hunched over cutting her hair onto the floor. Just…trimming her hair and letting it fall all over the library floor. Checking the ends to make sure they were good…then trimming some more.
All customer service training went out the window as I bellowed “What are you doing!?! NO! JUST…NO!” She had the grace to look ashamed and try and scoop up all her little hair pieces.
Image source: librarylivin42, EyeEm
#3
Dude went out of his way to hit my friend’s service dog with a cart at Costco. He then proceeded to follow them around the store because he thought it was funny how the dog would get visibly stressed out when he approached with the cart. Piece of s**t was wearing a “Back the Blue” shirt too of course, like sir are you aware you are committing a felony?
Image source: PeachyPupConn, prostooleh
#4
A guy used his car key to clean out his ear and then put it into his mouth. Walking out of walmart, naturally.
Image source: Strange-Waltz-8105, revac film’s&photography
#5
Threw mashed potatoes at the waitress because they had gravy on them.
Image source: Dead_Henry, timolina
#6
Had a lady light a cigarette in the bank the other day. This was after insisting that the gold $100 bill she tried to give me was real. The, she told my manager to f**k off and that she wasn’t the manager. She clearly wasn’t well, but it was all wild.
Image source: KTKannibal, pikisuperstar
#7
Knickers round one ankle, skirt hoiked up at the front, leg up on the sink for easy access hacking away at her pubes with a razor in a supermarket toilet.
We made direct eye contact. I walked right back out of there.
Image source: LAcasper, freepik
#8
A guy on the subway peeling and eating a whole raw onion like it was an apple, dead serious.
Image source: skyexoxoxx, freepik
#9
Eat a random pill they found on the floor of the bus. Then take out a beat up iPhone and try to identify what the pill was.
Image source: wolf_logic, The Yuri Arcurs Collection
#10
Saw a chick go into a sandwich shop while drunk with her friends, and instead of waiting to use the bathroom, just squatted over the mop bucket in the dining room and pissed like it was no big deal in front of a full crowd of strangers. Dinner theater.
Image source: kayvandutch, freepik
#11
A very professional looking woman (think skirt suit and matching shoes) was walking in front of us in Spain. Suddenly she slapped the absolute s**t out of her own face.
No stopping, no change in facial expression either. Smacked herself so hard I had secondhand sting.
Image source: HuuffingLavender, EyeEm
#12
I saw someone pick up dog poop with their bare hand at the dog park and then walk to throw it out in the trash can.
Most ironic part about the whole thing is that there were bags that they could have used right next to the trash can. I wonder about people sometimes.
Image source: 454ever, freepik
#13
Used to work in a pub. Had a crazy old lady ask for a half of bitter. Takes the glass, puts it in her handbag and walks out. I was about to go get the glass back when the manager stopped me and said “It’s probably not worth it…”.
Image source: deformedfishface, freepik
#14
I was tutoring a student at a public library in Orlando, and the student was unusually distracted, periodically glancing behind me over my shoulder.
Eventually I asked the student what was up and he told me that a man behind me was watching p**n on one of the library computers behind me. He was a college kid, so I didn’t figure that he could be that phased.
When I turned around, what I saw, with absolutely no effort to conceal it, was an old man watching naked, morbidly obese women being aggressively strangled.
Image source: gene_jackets, freepik
#15
I once saw a woman in a supermarket queue eating a whole stick of butter like it was an ice cream. I moved to the next queue. .
Image source: Equivalent-Garlic-88, stockking
#16
Watched someone on the bus eating ice cream bars, one after the other, out of a box. Finished one box, started another. About half way through that box they paused, rummaged around in their many bags, came out with a needle, and stabbed it into their thigh, and continued eating the ice cream.
Image source: PretendCamel3989, EyeEm
#17
Was on the subway and a lady across from me started brushing her teeth and spitting on the floor. She then washed her face with her water bottle.
Image source: sacrodn, The Yuri Arcurs Collection
#18
Walking down the street in Barcelona and a guy takes his phone out and full on licks the screen to clean it. Whole tongue out using the entire surface, with force, for at least the 3 steps he walked by me !!
Image source: No_Mulberry731, freepik
#19
P**s in the middle of dollar tree
i didnt actually see the lady do it, a customer let me know about it, but the next day, my manager showed me and my coworkers the security camera footage. she legit just crouched down, pissed, and then got back up and walked away as if nothing happened.
Image source: _Error__404_, freepik
#20
Y’know those plastic dividers the cashiers at the supermarket use to divide your groceries from someone else’s? I saw a cashier at Safeway pick one of those up, insert it down inside his shirt to scratch his back, and then put it right back on the conveyor belt in between the groceries as if that was a perfectly normal thing to do. 🤢🤮
I went home and promptly called the manager to report it.
Image source: mom_with_an_attitude, drobotdean
#21
Some homeless woman cascade vomiting on the bus seat in front of her, then asking the bloke she barely missed to fish out her dentures and hand them back to her.
Edited; phrasing.
Image source: Grodslok, freepik
#22
To make a very, very long story short, I worked at a ski resort with company housing. I had a super creepy housemate who, over the course of the winter, went progressively more insane. One of the final straws leading up to his firing took place at the childrens bunny hill while I was taking a group of kids to their ski lesson.
I see him sitting outside the shack at the top of the lift, feet resting on the controls, wearing nothing but a speedo, and shaving his head with a pair of clippers.
It was the middle of february, well below freezing, and this man was sitting in a lawnchair in a speedo, shaving his head on the bunny hill.
I said, “jesus christ man! what are you doing!?”
And he calmy replied “well… there was an outlet up here.”
He gestured towards the outlet the clippers were plugged into.
The kids are looking at me like, “Who the hell is that guy?”
That was one of the thousands of insane things I saw that man do in public.
Image source: TastefulAssfuck, Samuel Walker
#23
Back in early pandemic times I was stuck in a long line at the grocery store and this couple in front of me was ignoring their child.
Everyone is masked up, a bunch of ppl had gloves.
This kid was stuffing cheesy puffs into the keyhole on the grocery cart and then sucking the cheese puff paste out of it. This went on for at least 30 minutes, cheese puff after cheese puff.
No one stopped him.
Image source: Miss-Kitt, azerbaijan_stockers
#24
At the gas station I saw a woman in a wheelchair insert her card into the reader with her mouth and used her tongue to press the number buttons. Initially I was saddened by this (in addition to being horrified), then I noticed that she was accompanied by an able-bodied man who stood and watched it happen.
Image source: violetchemistry11, freepik
#25
Watched a man peeling a banana on an early morning commuter public bus. As he peeled it, it broke, and most of it fell onto the floor. It even rolled. He looked around (didn’t see me watching him) and then picked it up and ate it. OFF THE FLOOR OF A BUS.
Image source: lil_poundcake, freepik
#26
Two people smacking each other with umbrellas in a fight. This happened at the university I used to attend.
At least I got morning entertainment before a dull lecture.
Image source: mariannevonedmund2, freepik
#27
I watched a woman walk completely naked down the street from a bus window. A moment later a cop car comes careening around the corner and the bus driver points and tells them the direction she went in. Apparently she wasn’t a first time offender.
Image source: Liapocalypse1, Dom J
#28
Clean her whole car with baby wipes in front of a Ross. Windshield, tires, everything. There was a car wash across the street.
Image source: No_Potential_7447
#29
I saw a guy try and return a pair of trousers in a shop that had s**t stains on the butt. The poor store clerk didnt know what to do. I suspect it was his kink or something.. maybe?
Image source: emmielou1983, senivpetro
#30
Sitting in the deli/bakery seating of a grocery store having a coffee and donut when a man sits next to us with a grocery bag and he takes out a giant steak still in the packaging that he clearly just bought, and pulls out a small bottle of seasoning salt from his coat pocket and proceeds to eat the whole raw steak with his hands making sure to salt every bite. It was absolutely foul.
Image source: rgk1012, bublikhaus
#31
Someone at the airport who looked not homeless grabbed an empty plastic bottle from the recycling bin, walked to the water fountain, filled it up and drank from it.
Image source: littlehawk88, freepik
#32
I was having a conversation with a homeless man when another homeless man walked up, didn’t say a single word, pulled a bottle of vodka out of his trench coat and handed it to the man I was speaking to. The man I was speaking to proceeded to open the bottle, start chugging it, choke, and spit it all over me. He gave me a “my bad” look and walked away. I stood there stunned and then a lady that watched the whole thing called the police and the guy got arrested. It was so strange and really gross.
Image source: SkiFastEatAss_6969, jcomp
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