Women will be scrutinized for anything on the internet. Whether it’s because of the way they talk or how they act, it really doesn’t take much for people to start criticizing them — that’s the price of online exposure.
But moms, especially mom influencers, have an even harder time with netizens. Everyone has different parenting styles, opinions, and advice, so when a mom on TikTok decided to share her kids’ summer schedules, she was shocked when people criticized her for… being involved in her kids’ lives and for giving them a routine. Shocker, we know.
Her name is Sally, and she lives with her husband, Kevin Butan, their four kids, and their dogs, in Palm Beach, Florida. She began sharing her life in a multicultural household on social media, as well as how she and her husband navigate raising four kids. But apparently, not everyone agreed with her “strict” ways. So, this is what happened.
Being a mom influencer is a good way to get some haters online, and it really doesn’t take much to get a train of negative comments
This time, it happened to TikTok ‘momfluencer’ Sally Butan, after she shared a specific video of her children
In the video, she showed her children’s summer schedule, in which she enforced some house rules to guarantee they’re well fed, healthy, and stimulated
rawpixel.com / Magnific (not the actual photo)
The rules included a two-hour workout routine every day, as well as a two-hour reading session
The kids’ snacks were also strictly fruits and vegetables, with, of course, the occasional ice cream break sneaking in
What also upset many netizens was the fact that the kids weren’t allowed to watch TV until after 3 PM, which many claimed to be child exploitation
Comments flooded in claiming her children would end up hating their parents and even put them in nursing homes in the future
fijulanam468 / Magnific (not the actual photo)
Following the backlash, the mom rebutted the claims by sharing her kids had plenty of fun in spite of this routine
ziaullah621 / Magnific (not the actual photo)
In a response video, she shared clips and pictures of her kids at several amusement parks, playing with each other and other people
She also shared that they go on several vacations, where they learn about animals and other cultures
Moreover, she also shared many of her kids’ accomplishments, including straight A’s, as well as the several awards they’d been receiving
Ultimately, the mother explains that she wishes her kids to “be great,” and she’s “putting in the hard work” to ensure they have a bright future
The influencer also mentioned that many of the critics came from people who want to have accomplished kids, but actually don’t want to do anything to ensure that future
Here’s the original video
While kids need unstructured play time, they also need routine and rules to thrive
So, there’s plenty to unravel here. Many netizens criticized the mom for exploiting her children, arguing that they weren’t having fun with such a strict routine. However, several child psychologists and experts have pointed out that having a routine, especially during times when children can’t rely on schoolwork, like summertime, is important for everyone — both parents and kids.
This is because establishing a routine around learning and movement not only encourages good habits but, as studies have shown time and again, also helps kids thrive on predictable expectations. Having a structured morning with clear expectations and fun activities — because yes, some kids do like to exercise and read — paired with a set time for leisure (3 PM), shows a desire to balance discipline with reward.
Researchers have long pointed out that keeping children away from screens until after a certain time can be incredibly important in preventing an overly sedentary lifestyle and overstimulation. Experts have also pointed out that dopamine, the chemical associated with anticipation and craving, can be rapidly triggered in the brain, especially in children. Even media designed for children, such as short-form videos, may trigger a dopamine spike and shorten their attention spans.
It essentially encourages kids not to check their devices in less visually stimulating environments, such as when they’re reading or working out. But Dr. Victoria Dunckley points out that even children’s television shows can cause sensory fatigue. This is due to constant visual and auditory overload, with highly saturated neon visuals that can force the brain into a state of continuous passive alertness.
pch.vector / Magnific (not the actual photo)
At the same time, humans are flawed, and no parenting strategy is absolutely free of consequences
While the kids are obviously incredibly hard-working and accomplished, with a mother who clearly cares and is intricately involved in their lives, it’s also important to note that there are downsides to every story. The American Academy of Pediatrics, or AAP, recommends 60 minutes of moderate-to-vigorous physical activity for children every day. However, two hours of structured exercise could leave the kids feeling burnt out, increase the risk of injury, and even create a negative association with fitness.
Instead of sticking to a strict two-hour rule, child development experts also suggest that kids’ movement should feel like play. So, instead of putting them in a sport, they can switch it up with biking, swimming, and even outdoor games that mimic the feeling of playing with friends outside. This helps develop their motor skills and supports their physical health and growth.
But then we have the problem many people have noticed: overscheduling. While children thrive on routine, several professionals have also advocated for unstructured play as an essential part of summer. This forces kids to actually manage their own boredom — a rare concept these days — self-regulate, and even learn to solve their own problems by developing creative outlets.
So, while she could always try to minimize the workouts or even give the kids a break from the routine every once in a while, the mom is clearly incredibly involved in parenting her children. Research also shows the very real concerns surrounding the literacy crisis in the US, and one thing’s for sure: her kids won’t have that problem.
With that said, what do you think, Pandas? Is the mother taking things a step too far and potentially creating resentment, or does she have the ideal parenting approach that’s been long forgotten nowadays?
Here are the opinions of those supporting this mom following the backlash
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