As children, we admire our parents and view them through rose-colored glasses. They’re the coolest, smartest and most amazing people on the planet! But as we get older, sometimes reality sets in, and we realize that Mom and Dad didn’t actually know everything. In fact, they may have even done some harm when raising us.
Redditors have been sharing things their parents taught them that they later realized weren’t healthy, so we’ve gathered some of their honest responses down below. Keep reading to also find a conversation with the user who sparked this discussion in the first place, and be sure to upvote the replies that make you want to be a better parent.
#1
“No kid should be on drugs” I was 11, diagnosed with ADHD by a psychologist back when that was pretty new…
Yeah… Every teacher stated some version of “if you weren’t so smart, I’d hold you back” and I barely graduated high school. Seriously thought I ‘couldn’t do math.’
Flash forward to 28. Get over the stigma… Take good meds – graduate cum laude with with degree in Finance at 32. Turns out I can do pretty heavy equations in my head when the hurricane isn’t spinning…
Image source: Quartz_Starbursts, cottonbro studio
#2
That you are at least partially to blame for ANYTHING bad that happens to you.
Get beat up by a bully? It’s at last partly your fault and you’re to be blamed and punished for it.
Get bit by a dog? It’s at last partly your fault and you’re to be blamed and punished for it.
Accidently step on a nail, cut yourself, fall, have an asthma attack? It’s at last partly your fault and you’re to be blamed and punished for it.
A few years ago my younger brother (we are in our 30s now) was out on the town at night and got mugged, I had to drive him to the hospital. I started blaming him for it and had to pause and ask myself WTF was I thinking and right then and there had an epiphany that the way we were raise was totally screwed up.
Image source: Millwrighttin
#3
If you’re sad that means the devil is inside you and you need to pray for forgiveness.
I was 6 and my cat had just died
Image source: AngstyRacc00n, cottonbro studio
#4
After arguing with a girlfriend and not speaking with her for a few days, BOTH my parents told me separately to hold onto my beef with her like a grudge and use it against her later.
I’ve been married to the girlfriend now 25 years this year, never once took my parents’ advice, and have NO IDEA how my parent’s marriage survived LOL
Image source: mcbrian67, Ketut Subiyanto
#5
Anytime I felt hurt by a conflict with a friend, my parents would tell me to never talk to them again because they aren’t real friends anyway.
I ghosted all of my best friends thinking it was the right thing to do.
Now, I know that real friends talk things out and it makes the friendships even stronger. A very painful realization. I never even considered my parents could have been wrong. :(
Image source: PegasaurusTrex, Christina Morillo
#6
“If you ignore bullies they will go away.”
Image source: 21stCenturyGW, Keira Burton
#7
Parents and other related adults would give me awful s**t any time I didn’t want to kiss/hug my male cousins and relatives or deal with them physically touching me to “wrestle” or “play,” saying that I was hurting their feelings. Basically just teaching me that my feelings didn’t matter about my own body.
Image source: Snuffcarcass, Monstera
#8
Do not ever be a bother to anyone. Solve all your problems by yourself.
Image source: Soobobaloula, Sofia Alejandra
#9
My dad was “teaching” me about credit cards and said you can just make the minimum payment every month. It blew my mind, made it seem like free money. Thank god I didn’t take that advice. I pay my credit card off every month and he’s drowning in credit card debt.
Image source: lilmrs-t, Mikhail Nilov
#10
Situation awareness, what seems odd or out of place. Felt like i was being trained by batman when I realized what he was doing… dads from a ruff part of mexico with a lot of Narco gang wars… so, he was just teaching me to read if a place or a situation was “out of the ordinary”.
Image source: Plane_Tomato369, JAGMEET SiNGH
#11
Let boys think they’re smarter than you. Nobody wants to go out with a smart girl.
Image source: MessyLina, Katerina Holmes
#12
Upon hearing stories of my childhood my husband had to break it to me that it was not in fact normal for moms to share their anti-psychotic meds (or “chill pills”, as she would call them) with their young children.
Image source: TysenTrainz, Michelle Leman
#13
That there was nothing that could be done about my superheavy periods, that it ran in the family and that was it. Found out when I was thirty that there are literal doctors for that and got on birth control and just like that, normal periods. I had missed so much school and work and suffered in pain and nausea since I was 12 for nothing. Thanks, Mom.
Image source: NeitherSparky
#14
That anytime something bad happened, it was just a dream and if I talked about it, then I was just seeking attention and no one would believe me. It wasn’t until I was in my 20’s when my brother brought up some of the terrible things that happened to me that I realized I wasn’t going crazy.
Image source: Abberzz
#15
1. Mental illness is not real. You are just thinking of it, and you dont pray enough.
2. Being gay is wrong.
Image source: michael0103, Darina Belonogova
#16
“If a boy is mean to you, that means he likes you!”
Took me a while to learn what a healthy relationship was when I hit adulthood.
Image source: SuitableNegotiation5
#17
That every interaction with other people is transactional in some way. Nobody ever wants to be around you just because they like you.
Image source: darklightdiana, Mental Health America (MHA)
#18
My parents told me that I had a limited number of words and when I got to that limit I would die. I guess it was an easy way to make me shut up.
Image source: aganalf, Oleksandr Pidvalnyi
#19
How to lie or avoid situations where truthful responses would get me in trouble.
Anytime I spoke up about anything really id be ridiculed and put down by my mother so I stopped talking. If I told her something good happened at school she’d ask why I was still getting such bad grades.
So I just stopped talking.
Image source: splintersmaster, RDNE Stock project
#20
That having and expressing emotions was shameful. Thats some b******t.
Image source: KungFuAllOvaU, Pixabay
#21
My dad instilled crippling perfectionism in me, which I realized was insane when I got older and people told me to just “do my best.”
When I was in grade school, I would come to my dad with A’s all super excited. But, if it was anything less than a 100%, he would ask for the missing percentage. So, when I had a 98%, he’d say “well where’s the 2%?” And now, if I do anything less than perfect, I beat myself up
Image source: Gremlin-o-Chaos, August de Richelieu
#22
My mom taught me that when you have bug bites, you should scratch them until they bleed, and then rub salt on them to make them stop itching.
It wasn’t until I was 23 and passed that “home remedy” on to a friend and they immediately told me how masochistic it was that I realized something was weird about it.
Image source: HorseGirl666, James West
#23
My Dad told me he could drink beer in the car if he drank it while the car was stopped. It’s only drinking and driving if the car is in motion. I was like makes sense. I was around 4.
Image source: Diggler149, energepic.com
#24
Apparently healthy conflict resolution doesn’t involve complete avoidance in the form of locking yourself in the bedroom for days on end.
Image source: TheBiggestWOMP, cottonbro studio
#25
“Only TV families resolve their problems and apologize after a big fight. Real families just act like it never happened.”
Image source: 3thantrapb3rry, Annushka Ahuja
#26
That if you’re not bleeding, vomiting, or broken, you don’t get to cry about it
Image source: TheDeathOfAKing
#27
“If someone ever touches you hit them back and don’t stop hitting until they stop moving”
-> my dad who is facing his third attempted [criminal] charge.
Image source: ppppppppppython, cottonbro studio
#28
Definitely not as bad as a lot of these other ones, and I know it wasn’t done on purpose to be malicious, but to eat when I was sad or upset. It’s easier and faster to tell a kid to go eat something as a distraction than it is to sit down and deal with it – especially if said kid is upset a lot due to living in abusive environments, getting bullied at school, etc. It definitely really f****d up my relationship with food, leading to emotional eating, overweight turning into obesity, even more bullying, disordered eating and other mental health issues. I realized probably 15 years ago that this was an issue/the cause of it but even though I know that, it’s still something I’m working on unlearning.
Image source: Punkrockit, cottonbro studio
#29
That parents are completely infallible. know exactly whats best for you, should never be questioned and you should do everything they ask you to do. Including being effectively a slave
Image source: Ciryl_Lynyard, Karolina Grabowska
#30
My mom told me that “you can fall in love with anyone.” The context was like go marry rich because you can fall in love with anyone. Terrible advice. I would tell my kids to find someone who is kind and makes them laugh.
Image source: fat-randin
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