When I was a child, I was given a lot of advice, both useful and not so, from parents and adult relatives. About how one should or shouldn’t behave in different life situations, about what would be right and what would be wrong, and even if some advice looked completely strange in my eyes, I trusted the life experience of adults. As it turns out, I trusted in vain.
Years and decades have passed, and now, looking back at everything I was told, I am well aware that many of these pieces of “worldly wisdom” were, in fact, either completely wrong or simply manipulative. However, as we can see from this list of ours, I was not the only one…
More info: Reddit
#1
My mom used to tell me, “when something bad happens that upsets you close your eyes and put it in a box and put that box in the top shelf of your mind and never open it again” lol lol.
Image source: Dr_nacho_, freepik
#2
I’ve always been chubby/fat. My best friends mom (who was a nurse) told me the best flavor to throw up was grape. Said if I ever had to throw up to have grape flavoring beforehand and it would taste better. Didn’t realize until recently she was trying to encourage bulimia. All of her kids look like skeletons.
Image source: Far-Fish-5519, razzakdesignworld
#3
When my brother would bully me, my parents always told me “well, don’t react to it and he won’t do it!!” And they wondered why I used to have anger issues.
Image source: HoppyRaven12, School friends bullying a sad boy in corridor wavebreakmedia_micro
#4
If a girl won’t go out with you, keep trying. I think that’s a huge part of why women are getting sick of men that won’t take no for an answer.
Image source: they_just_appear, prostooleh
#5
Eat everything on your plate because there’s starving children in Africa. Also had to sit at the table until everything was eaten off your plate.
#6
That my attitude was the reason my dad was dying.
I was 8.
He died earlier this year though so I guess I was being an awful child again. Oops.
Image source: sleepytiredpineapple, freepik
#7
“Be careful when you hit 35, that’s when your mom went mad. It ruined our whole family.” My dad even warned my husband about it. I was already diagnosed with MDD and now feared turning 35. Fast forward to me being unhappy in my marriage at age 37 and when I asked for a divorce my spouse said “your dad called it, you lost your mind just like your mom”.
Image source: CuteCanary, EyeEm
#8
“Girls aren’t usually good at this, but you’re special.”.
Image source: doublestitch, smokewree928
#9
Nobody likes a crybaby.
Okay I won’t cry. I’ll just have hangups about expressing emotions in front of others instead.
Image source: birthdaycheesecake9, volodymyr-t
#10
‘Boys are mean to you because they like you.’ Great, thanks for normalizing toxic relationships early.
Image source: uwuvxdh, freepik
#11
“If you tell anyone about what happens at home, they will take you away and you will have to live with strangers”
Edit: since this is blowing up I wanted to provide context. Alcoholic dad used a sharp weapon to almost end my mom. I remember slamming my head against the door multiple times at 8 years old to zone out the noise. For the next 25 years he continued this in different forms, enabling mom forced us to keep saving him every time. He had moments of good parenting, but couldn’t control his own demons.
Moved out and doing better now – but still dealing with the demons. Hoping to fix this trauma in me and change things for my children.
Image source: queeeeeeeeeen, yuriyrudy
#12
“Blood is thicker than water” or “be the bigger person” – as the oldest child, I was always told to be the bigger person even when my sister was doing crazy s**t like telling my parents I hit her when I didn’t, when she was stealing expensive stuff from me (like my camera in middle school) and they didn’t believe me for a while, and or just being a bully. Yes, I’m five years older and I shouldn’t stoop to a younger level. But it wasn’t like that – I was always being told to be the bigger person and meanwhile her therapist refused to see her anymore after her day-long psych test results were returned to the therapist and she wouldn’t disclose why. Obviously this wasn’t a normal situation. Family members seem to often tell someone to be the bigger person or let something go when the other family member in the dispute is so exhausting from ongoing problematic behaviors that no one seems to want to deal with them. It’s like it’s easier to not get into it with that person and therefore the strong recommendation to others is to be the bigger person… make it make sense!
Image source: PMAccountForWork, freepik
#13
My mom would tell me multiple times a day that “beauty is pain .” Making us pretty was her top priority, and the way she’d do my hair, the heels she’d put on my feet, being kept skinny, the tight little dresses and tights I couldnt play in, the way she’d put on mascara: all hurt. She wanted me to have her body dysmorphia so bad, she’d call me her barbie but I was never a doll, just a micromanaged child.
Image source: OmnipotentSwampWater, freepik
#14
Not really advice, but something “innocent” that I was told constantly. Parents used to say to me “it’s a good thing you’re pretty” as a joke whenever I did or said something stupid. I thought I was stupid for years, and hated only being seen as “the pretty one”.
Pretty much the primary reason I decided to live my life putting my intelligence and personality first. Got two degrees, multiple professors called me brilliant. Almost went for a PhD but too much uncertainty in the job market around that. Have moved up quickly in my career after my degrees.
Still pretty, but f*****g smart too. Who would have thought?
Image source: GoatBlue03, EyeEm
#15
“Don’t talk back to adults” now I see how that conditioned me to accept authority without question, even when it was harmful.
Image source: clairbreeze91, peoplecreations
#16
Don’t engage with a bully. They’ll get bored and leave you alone. Oh, the hell they will.
Image source: Acrobatic_Carry7449, egoitz_bengoetxea
#17
As a teenager, I told my mom I was pretty sure I had an anxiety disorder, and she told me “let’s pray about it”. She didn’t reach out to my school counselor, or follow up with anything after.
Image source: deerjesus18, freepik
#18
“Girls don’t like that”. I didn’t realize my only purpose in life is being attractive to women. I guess I’ll just give up everything I enjoy until I find a mate and she approves it. .
Image source: Miserable-Carpet-669, EyeEm
#19
If something bad happens, just trust that it’s gods plan and be thankful it happened.
Image source: CL4P-L3K, freepik
#20
God and Jesus are in heaven and watching your every move and listening to your every thought. They are recording it and will play it back for you after you die. You will have to explain yourself or burn in HELL!
It was an attempt to control my behaviors, mostly it made me mad that they were spying!
Image source: cwsjr2323, jcomp
#21
That you must respect your parents no matter what and forgive them for what they’ve done.
I actually don’t owe anyone respect, and I don’t have to associate with people who don’t respect me. I also don’t have to forgive someone just because they’re family. That just leads to cycles letting someone talk down to you and put you down.
Image source: ICEProUS, freepik
#22
“Stop eating so much you’re gonna get fat, and boys don’t like fat girls.” “Put some make-up on. You look like a boy.” “Don’t ever cut your beautiful hair! Men don’t like short hair.”
Thanks for all the body dysmorphia and teaching me my body belongs to men, I guess?
PS, I’M NOT STRAIGHT.
Image source: Honey-Badger-90, freepik
#23
Ooohhhhhhhh… my time to shine….
1. Bully’s are jealous of you
2. Ignore the bully’s
3. Turn the other cheak
4. Only your mummy will ever really love you
5. Children should be sen and not heard
So much more.. all from a narcissistic mother. Father did nothing to defend and was horribly henpecked and manipulated himself.
F**k you Danuta.
Image source: insurancemanoz
#24
You have to forgive to move on.’ I tried, but some people don’t deserve forgiveness tbh.🥲.
Image source: misscexy
#25
“If a boy picks on you it means he likes you.”
Worst advice ever.
Image source: MeroCanuck, EyeEm
#26
Either
“If your mother won’t act like a mature adult, you need to.”
Or
“Take care of your mother!”.
Image source: Delicious_Actuary830, prostooleh
#27
We were never to call an ambulance. Lived 15 miles out of town, do not call for an ambulance. Had a 2nd degree burn freshman year of college and just suffered the night away in bed before I begged to be taken to urgent care. Doctor asked why I didn’t go to ER the night before and I said we are not allowed. My mother’s face FELL, she was so upset. She didn’t mean it like THAT. .
Image source: Joyjmb, hedgehog94
#28
‘I know you want to live with me now that I’ve left your dad, but he is sad and needs you to keep him happy’.
Image source: helenfuego, freepik
#29
Studying makes you rich and independent and successful though!
Image source: aesthetic_vibes18, freepik
#30
At a young age, I was very interested in being a lawyer. I don’t remember why anymore, but I remember that I thought I’d be really good at it and would pretend to be one from time to time. A close family member asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up and I told him. He leaned in close and said “lawyers have to read a lot, I mean REALLY a lot.” And then gave me such a discerning warning look that I then became sure I wasn’t cut out to be a lawyer. Even though I was very high in my reading scores at school.
It very likely changed the trajectory of my life. I’ve learned to never ever do that to any kid. If they tell you their dreams, tell them how awesome it’s going to be.
Image source: BionicHuckleberry, freepik
#31
“Don’t judge a book by its cover”
Why? You can tell a s**t ton about a book by its cover. You should just be open to having that judgment changed.
My parents suck at nuance though so I had to figure that out on my own.
Image source: Hunterofshadows, freepik
#32
No criticism to my mom, I still think it’s a silly bit in a lot of ways, but any time I’d get hurt and start crying she’d joke: “Do you need to go to the hospital? Do you need something amputated?” and it would get me to stop crying.
I think, among many other things, that helped teach me to really expertly suppress my emotions. Now, in my 30’s, I’m trying very hard to try to understand what I’m feeling and letting that exist so that I’m not just anxious and stressed every moment of the day.
Image source: dogssdogssdogss, freepik
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