Sometimes the most powerful moves in relationships aren’t loud and dramatic. And a story shared on r/PettyRevenge by Reddit user Dudesnation proves that you can make people stop walking all over you without making a scene.
This college student had a girlfriend, a steady part-time job, and everything seemed fine—until her best friend entered the picture.
She mocked his “cheap” life while simultaneously freeloading off him and even tried to shame him for not paying hundreds of dollars for a trip she and his girlfriend had secretly planned. But, as she soon found out, that was the last straw.
Although not without challenges, this guy was making ends meet
Image credits: Mike Jones / Pexels (not the actual photo)
But then, the girl he was seeing made a friend who turned out to be a freeloader
Image credits: Sam Lion / Pexels (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Liza Bakay / Pexels (not the actual photo)
Image credits: dudesnation
Image credits: Kaboompics.com / Pexels (not the actual photo)
People aren’t paying back their friends pretty often
Generally, people don’t like to talk about money, even with those closest to them. A recent survey found less than 2 in 5 (38 percent) Americans are comfortable discussing their bank account balances with family and close friends, a smaller percentage than those who would feel comfortable discussing details of their love life (47 percent), weight (71 percent), political views (78 percent), religious views (81 percent), or health (81 percent).
Which might be one of the reasons why so many end up in similar situations to our Redditor’s.
While lending money to a friend or covering a group purchase is generous, it can also have unintended consequences. People who have done so with the expectation of being paid back have lost money (42 percent), harmed the relationship with the person (24 percent), damaged their credit score (9 percent), and even gotten into a physical altercation (4 percent).
Compared to other generations, millennials (ages 28-43) are most likely to have been burned—nearly two-thirds (62 percent) who lent money and/or paid for a group expense with the expectation of being paid back experienced a negative outcome as a result. That’s more than 53 percent of Gen Zers (ages 18-27), 54 percent of Gen Xers (ages 28-43), and 51 percent of baby boomers (ages 60-78).
Harvard-trained etiquette expert Sara Jane Ho says, “If you want to confront a friend who never pays you back, you can … send them friendly reminders via email or in person, saying, ‘By the way, do you have the $100 that I lent you last week?'”
And if they continue to ignore your requests for months, it’s safe to say they aren’t planning to pay you back, and you’ll have to eat the cost. However, while you might have lost money, you hopefully gained some useful knowledge about this person going forward.
Because of this, Ho believes that we should only lend as much as we are willing to lose.
People were happy for him for finding the strength to set boundaries
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