Some people collect stamps, some collect houseplants, and some apparently collect reasons to make their own lives dramatically more complicated. Breakups are rarely neat, but I find it deeply annoying when the person who caused the mess somehow ends up acting like the injured party.
That’s essentially what happened in this story. Years after a relationship ended because of infidelity, this Original Poster (OP) found herself being criticized, not for anything involving co-parenting, but simply because her new partner happened to be someone her ex knew well.
More info: Reddit
It’s a strange kind of contradiction when someone hurts another person, walks away, and then struggles to watch them rebuild their life without them
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The author’s relationship with her boyfriend ended after he revealed he was cheating on her, and the other woman was also pregnant with his child
Image credits: freepic.diller / Magnific (not the actual photo)
Years later, the ex-boyfriend and the other woman reunited, married, while she and the ex continued sharing 50/50 custody of their son
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She then started dating the ex’s longtime friend after some years, which caused conflict after the ex accused them of trying to make him jealous at his wedding
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Months later, the author’s boyfriend picked up the son during a custody exchange, and the ex became angry, claiming she was disrespecting him by involving his friend
The OP explained that she and her boyfriend had been together for two years and even had a son who was six months old at the time. However, the ex-boyfriend admitted he had been seeing another woman, who was also expecting his child. Both women ended their relationships with him at the time, although he eventually reconciled with the other woman, and the two later married.
Despite the painful breakup, the OP and the now ex-boyfriend settled into a shared custody arrangement for their son, splitting parenting responsibilities equally. This continued to work for them for years, Eventually, the OP unexpectedly reconnected with her ex’s longtime childhood friend after meeting him through work.
The two began dating, and because their relationship had become serious, they attended her ex’s wedding together. Since he was part of the wedding party and she was there with her son, they naturally spent much of the event together. Although the couple had already informed the ex-boyfriend they were dating, he later reacted angrily after returning from his honeymoon, insisting they had never mentioned it.
He accused the OP of trying to make him jealous and criticized his longtime friend for pursuing a relationship with her. Months after the wedding disagreement, the OP was busy with work one day, so her boyfriend offered to collect her son during the usual custody exchange so the child wouldn’t have to accompany her on errands afterward.
The arrangement seemed practical until her ex reacted with a string of angry messages. He argued that sending his friend to collect the child was disrespectful, particularly given their strained friendship, and claimed she was intentionally forcing the relationship into his face. His wife and sister also contacted her, asking that the boyfriend not handle future pickups to avoid further arguments at home.
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Successful co-parenting is not about former partners becoming friends but about creating a stable environment where children are protected from adult conflicts. Psychology Today emphasizes that separating personal frustrations from parenting decisions can help children feel more secure after a breakup.
However, the conflict also raises questions about why someone might react strongly to an ex-partner moving on. According to Truity, jealousy can continue long after a breakup, even when a person has entered a new relationship. These feelings are often less about romantic attachment and more connected to unresolved emotions, pride, insecurity, or the desire to maintain importance in an ex-partner’s life.
At the same time, the practical side of the situation appears to be relatively common in shared custody arrangements. Custody XChange notes that parents often rely on trusted relatives, friends, or romantic partners to help with custody exchanges when schedules become complicated. Unless a custody agreement or court order specifically prevents it, these arrangements are generally viewed as acceptable.
Netizens sided with the OP, arguing that the ex-boyfriend’s reaction was driven by jealousy rather than genuine concerns about co-parenting. They also pointed out the irony of him being upset about her relationship despite marrying the woman he cheated with. What do you think? Where do you think the line is between respecting an ex’s feelings and letting them control your life? Let’s know in the comments!
Netizens defended the boyfriend’s involvement, saying that having a partner help with child-related responsibilities is normal when handled responsibly
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