Some folks don’t realize that the way they parent their children massively affects the little ones. A loving mother and father can lead to a fulfilling childhood, but if they are violent, it can totally mess with the kid’s life and also impact them as an adult.
Just look at this woman, who was neglected as a child, and she did the same thing to her daughter. Her husband was tired of acting like a single parent while she was constantly busy with work. Scroll down to know about the massive fight that erupted between them and what happened after that!
More info: Reddit
Not all parents realize that the way they bring up their kids, in a toxic or a loving way, can have a deep impact on them
Image credits: alexkich / Freepik (not the actual photo)
The poster felt that his family was broken as his wife constantly prioritized work, making him take all the responsibilities of their 10-year-old daughter
Image credits: ThrowRARadLovefool
Image credits: DC Studio / Freepik (not the actual photo)
The daughter had also distanced herself from her mother, as the woman showed no interest in what she liked and never made time for her
Image credits: ThrowRARadLovefool
Image credits: EyeEm / Freepik (not the actual photo)
The poster was tired of handling everything, so he called out his wife for her lack of involvement in their child’s life, but it sparked a massive argument
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Image credits: ARTcreator_98 / Freepik (not the actual photo)
She felt that their daughter was only close to her husband and disrespected her, but the poster tried to reason that it was not the child’s fault at all
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Image credits: EyeEm / Freepik (not the actual photo)
After sitting and talking things out, the man realized that his wife’s behavior might be because of how toxic and violent her parents were to her
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Image credits: pvproductions / Freepik (not the actual photo)
The woman also realized that she really wanted things to work out between them, so after the poster convinced her, she finally agreed to go to therapy
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The poster was extremely glad that she agreed, and he also noticed that she had started taking more efforts to bond with their daughter
In today’s story, we dive into a couple’s conflict as the original poster (OP) tells us about his broken marriage. He was tired of being a single parent to their 10-year-old daughter, as his workaholic wife never prioritized them. He felt that they were no longer a team because he was managing everything for the kid on his own, which led to a massive fight between them.
His wife confessed that she had given up on their daughter as she couldn’t connect with her at all. However, the truth is that she was never present for the little girl, never took an interest in what she liked, and never took efforts to make time for her. Well, obviously, she must have been hurt by her mom’s absence, so she grew closer to her dad, who was always there for her.
OP’s wife interpreted this distance as her daughter not liking her and told him that it was tough to come home to a kid who disrespected her. Well, the poster tried to explain that it’s not the child’s fault, as the woman needs to step up and start getting involved in her life. Sadly, this just escalated their fight to the next level, and things got pretty tense between the two.
The poster updated that their daughter noticed the rift in the couple, which hurt him so much that he decided to work things out. The horrific part is that he realized that his wife’s behavior might be because of her toxic parents, who were very violent towards her during her childhood. “Using the belt” was their parenting style, and now she never even talks with them.
However, the couple sat down, had a proper conversation, and OP’s wife agreed to go to family therapy. The last time the poster updated, he was glad that they were considering this approach, and even noticed that his wife had also started taking efforts with their daughter.
Image credits: pressfoto / Freepik (not the actual photo)
Many people pointed out that his wife sounds broken because of what her parents did to her. To get deeper insights into the matter, Bored Panda reached out to Eden Lobo, a counselor and psychology professor. She claimed that when someone grows up feeling neglected or mistreated, it can mess with how they see love and connection, and old wounds can sneak into new relationships.
“As a kid, they learn that affection isn’t safe, so as adults they might either shut down, overwork, or struggle to connect, even with their own children. It’s not that they don’t care; it’s that they never really learned how to show care healthily. The scary part is that this can create a cycle: a hurt child grows up, becomes a parent, and repeats the same patterns,” she added.
Prof. Lobo also narrated that adults who had violent childhoods can also be afraid to be a parent, which might not help them properly bond with their kids. Having said all that, our expert claimed that such a situation can not only impact the daughter in the story, but also the husband. She explained that the parent who takes on all the burden is often overlooked.
“The imbalance in the relationship can lead to exhaustion, resentment, and loneliness. It’s not just about the chores. The emotional part, always being the one their child turns to, always being the bridge between mom and kid, that’s heavy. It can make him feel trapped between protecting the child’s feelings and defending his partner’s intentions,” Prof. Lobo narrated.
However, she strongly believes that getting support through therapy can actually help this couple, considering how both of them want things to work out. What about you? Do you think they will be able to make it through? We would love to hear your thoughts, so feel free to jot them down in the comments below!
Folks online were able to see the generational trauma that was being passed on in the story, but they were glad that the couple tried to resolve things
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