Let’s be real: mothers-in-law don’t have the best reputation. They have a tendency to cross all kinds of boundaries, thrust their advice into situations where it really isn’t appropriate, and just generally be difficult.
One woman turned to an online community to vent after her mother-in-law’s first meeting with her newborn granddaughter went way off the rails. After much shrieking and even a demand for a paternity test, the new parents were left speechless.
More info: Reddit
Mothers-in-law get a bad rap but, to be fair, sometimes they really do deserve it
Image credits: freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)
One couple’s hope for a happy first meeting between the husband’s Indian mom and their newborn daughter went south after the grandmother lost the plot
Image credits: freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)
According to her shrieks, the mixed-race baby was far too “pale” to be her son’s kid, and she left in a huff without even holding it
Image credits: freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)
Things got even more awkward after the old woman demanded a paternity test, despite her son’s assurances that the kid was definitely his
Image credits: The Yuri Arcurs Collection / Freepik (not the actual photo)
Stunned, the new mom’s dreams of her husband’s family forming a close bond with the newest addition to the family seemed to be in the gutter
Image credits: ASphotofamily / Freepik (not the actual photo)
Confused and deeply upset, the woman turned to netizens to ask if she and her husband should just cave and go through with the paternity test
Image credits: greygreythrowaway
Fortunately, her mother-in-law eventually came to her senses and apologized for her frankly outrageous behavior
When the original poster (OP) and her husband welcomed their first baby, they expected excitement, not chaos. OP, a white woman, and her Indian husband joked during the pregnancy that their daughter might appear very fair at first. And she did: pale skin, black hair, brown eyes, in short, an absolutely adorable combo. But when the mother-in-law arrived to meet her first grandchild, everything went wildly off script.
Instead of joy, she freaked out so badly that the baby burst into tears. Convinced the child couldn’t be her son’s because of its skin color, she shrieked accusations, ignored explanations, and stormed out before even holding the kid. For three painful weeks she refused to see OP or the baby unless she agreed to a paternity test.
OP felt shaken. Her own family lives ten hours away, and she’d hoped her mother-in-law would be a constant loving presence. Instead, she got insults screamed in Hindi and a total meltdown over genetics. Unsure whether to swallow her pride or protect her peace, she wondered if trust could ever be rebuilt after such an explosive first impression.
Then something unexpected happened: her mother-in-law called to apologize. Nervous but hopeful, the couple invited her over. She admitted she panicked when the baby looked “too white,” apologized sincerely, and confessed she felt hurt that her granddaughter wasn’t given an Indian name. The couple explained their shared reasons, and she finally listened.
OP accepted her apology but set firm boundaries. No solo visits for now, and trust must be earned back. Still, she offered a bridge: someday, if all goes well, grandma can teach her granddaughter about Indian culture and even take her to her temple. By the end, there were hugs, tears, and a promise for a do-over, one careful, hopeful step at a time.
Image credits: EyeEm / Freepik (not the actual photo)
Honestly, OP’s mother-in-law was way out of line, so you can’t really blame her for being gobsmacked. To suggest that OP had been unfaithful to her husband just because of their child’s skin color was ridiculous. At least she came around in the end and had the presence of mind to apologize. But it begs the question: why do some mothers-in-law think their opinion is the only one that matters? We went digging for clues.
The pros over at Access Therapy put it this way: a mother who has centered her identity around caregiving for decades might struggle to redefine her role when her children become independent adults. This shift can be particularly challenging when a child gets married, as it represents a definitive shift in family dynamics.
For many mothers, maternal influence is a core part of their identity and purpose. The introduction of a daughter-in-law can feel like a threat to this influence, triggering fears of being replaced or becoming irrelevant in their child’s life. What’s more, mother-in-law meddling can crop up in various ways, like offering unwanted advice, criticizing parenting, or trying to maintain traditions that no longer fit the new family.
Writing for Choosing Therapy, licensed clinical social worker, Tricia Johnson, suggests a bunch of useful tips for dealing with a toxic mother-in-law, including communicating openly with your partner, setting realistic expectations, not falling for the “victim” card, and setting clear boundaries with consequences you can follow through on.
We’d say OP and her husband did a good job putting on a united front and letting her mother-in-law know that they weren’t going to be pushed into a corner. Here’s hoping the family can get back to the bonding OP was hoping for.
What’s your take? Do you think OP was right to refuse the paternity test, or should she and her husband have caved to the old woman’s demands? Drop your thoughts in the comments!
In the comments, readers slammed some commenters for their racist remarks and defending the mother-in-law’s unhinged reaction
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