It’s kind of an odd thing to say since many upon many men wouldn’t even think of trying to say that they fight with their wife and have a foolproof method for doing so, but when it comes to Tom Hanks and Rita Wilson, Hanks has actually figured out how to quell an argument by using something he learned from Mr. Rogers. Ron Dicker from Yahoo! News managed to write a quick blurb about this interesting bit and it’s the kind of thing that many people might stop and say “That’s SO Tom Hanks” if only because Hanks doesn’t seem like the kind of guy you’re going to read about in the headlines when it comes to domestic abuse or even something as simple as an argument in public. There’s no doubt that he and Rita have their moments when they’re not seeing eye to eye, this is pretty normal for many couples, but the way that he diffuses an argument is reminiscent of how Mr. Rogers would go about toning things down as he admits that it’s good to admit what you feel and that it’s good that they’re getting things laid out where they can see and examine them. So here’s what Hanks said:
“When my wife and I are going at it on those rare occasions, when she is letting me know that I’m not really listening to her and I’m trying to establish what the ground rules are [for the argument], when we’re going at it like that, one of us will say, ‘Well, you know what? You know what, honey? It’s good to talk. It’s good to say the things we feel.’ And I learned that from Mister Rogers.”
Arguing with your wife or significant other is a common occurrence between people and has been for a long, long time. Some people turn up the volume, others go ice cold to each other and don’t speak for a while, while some get downright violent since it seems to be the only thing they know how to do. When it comes to arguments between couples though one thing is abundantly clear, someone has to give. In order for an argument to actually end one side has to learn how to compromise and give in to reach a natural and calm resolution. It’s not easy and it’s not always fun since some people can’t ever seem to admit they’re wrong no matter how many times they end up getting in an argument over their viewpoints. But with Tom Hanks and Rita Wilson it would seem that they find a bit of common ground quite often and Hanks does this by giving in just a bit and finding a way to cool her jets by admitting that it’s a good thing for her to get her feelings out when she feels that he’s not listening. Too many men, yes it’s true, simply don’t want to listen since male ego is a very real thing and it sometimes gets in the way of progress and rationality. When this happens it tends to make any argument just get worse and worse without any end in sight and, unfortunately, it can exacerbate whatever issue started the argument in the first place. Chris Hallquist of Less Wrong has more to say about this.
Thankfully Hanks and Rita tend to talk their issues out whenever they have them and it sounds as though this has been working for them for quite a while since honestly they’ve been together for some time and haven’t had any major spats that people can recall. In Hollywood this is almost unheard of at times since celebrity couples have a bad reputation of splitting up after a few years and many people are usually there waiting for the implosion with limber fingers to report on it and cameras to capture every heart-rending moment. Tom and Rita are without a doubt an impressive couple for having stayed together for so long, and there are plenty of other couples that have achieved this as well throughout the history of Hollywood. One reason why we don’t always notice them is that the drama and news that comes from a breakup usually takes precedence along with the other foolish things that celebrities sometimes do. Maybe more of them need to take a lesson from Hank and Mr. Rogers.
It’s ironic in a big way that Hanks would learn so much from Mr. Rogers and is now playing the man in theaters, and is apparently related to him through a distant relative. Some might call this mere coincidence and not bother with fate and the many different discussions that might arise from it, but others would gladly think that this is something that was meant to be since it all seems to line up somehow. Scott Simon of NPR has his own opinion on the matter. It’s almost eerie when such a thing happens since it’s hardly ever expected and it’s bound to raise a few eyebrows in interest, but in this case it just seemed to click as things do sometimes and became a rather pleasant occurrence that has been a part of Hanks’ life for a while now it would seem. Many men would love to know the secret of winning an argument with their significant other, but the trick is usually not to win, but to reach a resolution by admitting that it’s good to get these things out in the open where they can be discussed.
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