We ran a little survey at the Bored Panda HQ, asking our colleagues what’s the one movie they couldn’t imagine Christmas without. Wanna guess which one was the unequivocal winner?
Yup, Home Alone. And seeing that we like it so much (so much, in fact, that some of the Pandas first came with a movie quote and then their answer!), we thought it was safe to presume that our readers also enjoy this movie and watch it over the holidays. And you know us, if we like stuff, we dedicate an article to it!
So, this is our selection of Home Alone quotes, which we are sure will bring you some awesome memories.
We’ve also always wondered what exactly makes this movie so legendary and came to a conclusion – Macaulay Culkin. Look, he was so genuinely adorable and witty, and he was just Macaulay in it that he became an unmatched legend of holiday movies.
Okay, also, the simple yet never-before-seen script helped a lot together with original jokes that have turned into famous quotes over time. Remember the one about washing your hands? If you do, you definitely know what to expect from these Home Alone movie quotes! And if you don’t remember it, know this – these funny quotes might just leave you laughing out loud.
We think that it’s right about time to ditch the introductions and skip to our selection of quotes from Home Alone. You know where to find them, right?
Once you’ve scrolled through them, be sure to show how much you liked these famous Home Alone quotes by giving them your vote by pressing that tiny little button under each submission. And lastly, don’t forget to share this article with your friends!
#1
“If you need somebody to trust, it can be me. I won’t forget to remember you.” — Kevin
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#2
“You can be too old for a lot of things, but you’re never too old to be afraid.” — Marley
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#3
“Will you please tell Santa that instead of presents this year, I just want my family back.” — Kevin
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#4
“I had a nice pair of rollerblades. I was afraid to wreck them, so I kept them in a box. Do you know what happened? I outgrew them. I never wore them outside. Only in my room a few times.” — Kevin
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#5
“I was afraid of getting my heart broken again. Sometimes you can trust a person, and then, when things are down, they forget about you.” — Bird Lady
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#6
“Keep the change, ya filthy animal.” — Gangster Johnny
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#7
“Your heart might still be broken, but it isn’t gone. If it was gone, you wouldn’t be so nice.” — Kevin
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#8
“Fuller, go easy on the Pepsi.” — Aunt Leslie
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#9
“You guys give up? Or are you thirsty for more?” — Kevin
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#10
“All the great ones leave their mark. We’re the Wet Bandits!” — Marv
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#11
“I’m 10 years old. TV is my life.” — Kevin
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#12
“This house is so full of people it makes me sick. When I grow up and get married, I’m living alone.” — Kevin
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#13
“This is my house. I have to defend it.” — Kevin
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#14
“He’s a kid. Kids are stupid. I know I was.” — Marv
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#15
“Don’t make promises you can’t keep.” — Bird Lady
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#16
“Here we are, Marv. New York City, the Land of Opportunity. Smell that?” — Harry
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#17
“You may have won the battle, little dude, but you lost the war.” — Marv
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#18
“You’re always welcome at church.” — Marley
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#19
“Buzz, your girlfriend. Woof!” — Kevin
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#20
“This is ridiculous. Only a wimp would be hiding under a bed. And I can’t be a wimp. I’m the man of the house.” — Kevin
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#21
“Kevin, you are such a disease.” — Jeff
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#22
“Buzz, I’m reading through all your private stuff, you better come out and pound me!” — Kevin
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#23
“This is Christmas. The season of perpetual hope. I don’t care if I have to get out on your runway and hitchhike! If it costs me everything I own, if I have to sell my soul to the devil himself, I am going to get home to my son.” — Kate
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#24
“You can mess with a lot of things. But you can’t mess with kids on Christmas.” — Kevin
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#25
“Guys, I’m eating junk and watching rubbish! You better come out and stop me!” — Kevin
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#26
“I don’t want to sleep on the hide-a-bed with Fuller. If he has something to drink, he’ll wet the bed.” — Kevin
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#27
“Hey, I’m gonna give you to the count of 10, to get your ugly, yella, no-good keister off my property, before I pump your guts full of lead! One, two, 10!” — Gangster Johnny
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#28
“Don’t you know a kid always wins against two idiots?” — Kevin
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#29
“How could you have Christmas without a Christmas tree, Mom?” — Kevin
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#30
“No offense, aren’t you too old to be afraid?” — Kevin
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#31
“Mom, does Santa Clause have to go through customs?” — Brook McCallister
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#32
“You can say ‘Hello’ when you see me. You don’t have to be afraid.” — Marley
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#33
“I made my family disappear.” — Kevin
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#34
“Bless this highly nutritious microwavable macaroni and cheese dinner and the people who sold it on sale. Amen.” — Kevin
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#35
“Has this toothbrush been approved by the American Dental Association?” — Kevin
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#36
“Damn. How can you give Kris Kringle a parking ticket on Christmas Eve? What’s next, rabies shots for the Easter Bunny?” — Santa Claus
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#37
“I wouldn’t let you sleep in my room if you were growing on my a**.” — Buzz
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#38
“The man I loved fell out of love with me. That broke my heart. When the chance to be loved came along again, I ran away from it. I stopped trusting people.” — Bird Lady
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#39
“I’m not apologizing to Buzz; I’d rather kiss a toilet seat!” — Kevin
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#40
“I know I don’t deserve a Christmas, even if I did do a good deed. I don’t want any presents. Instead, I want to take back every mean thing I ever said to my family. Even if they don’t take back the things they said to me. I don’t care. I love all of them… Including Buzz. I know it isn’t possible to see them all. Could I just see my mother? I’ll never want another thing as long as I live if I can just see my mother. I know I won’t see her tonight, but promise me I can see her again. Sometime. Any time. Even if it’s just once and only for a couple of minutes. I just need to tell her I’m sorry.” — Kevin
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#41
“Excuse me, but this is an emergency. What city is it out there?” — Kevin
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#42
“How you feel about your family is a complicated thing. Deep down, you’ll always love them. But you can forget that you love them, and you can hurt them and they can hurt you, and that’s not just because you’re young.” — Marley
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#43
“At least you’ll know. Then you could stop worrying about it. Then you won’t have to be afraid anymore. I don’t care how mad I was, I would talk to my dad. Especially around the holidays.” — Kevin
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#44
“I’m down here, you big horse’s a**! Come and get me before I call the police.” — Kevin
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#45
“He went shopping? He doesn’t know how to tie his shoe and he’s going shopping!” — Buzz
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#46
“I’m a criminal…” — Kevin after unintentionally stealing a toothbrush.
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#47
“Turtle doves are a symbol of friendship and love. And as long as each of you has your turtle dove, you’ll be friends forever.” — Mr. Duncan
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#48
“Yep. There’s nobody dumb enough to knock off a toy store on Christmas Eve.” — Harry
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#49
“You’re what the French call ‘les incompetents.'” — Linnie
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#50
“I took a shower, washing every body part with actual soap — including all my major crevices, including in between my toes and in my belly button, which I never did before but sort of enjoyed.” — Kevin
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#51
“There are 15 people in this house and you’re the only one who has to make trouble.” — Kate
#52
“I’m traveling with my dad. He’s at a meeting. I hate meetings. Plus, I’m not allowed to go in. I can only sit in the lobby. That’s boring. So he dropped me off here. He gave me his credit card and told me to give this to whoever was welcoming people in so I won’t get into mischief. And ma’am, sometimes I do get into mischief. We all do!” — Kevin
#53
“Look what you did you little jerk.” — UncleFrank
#54
“A, I’m not that lucky. Two, we use smoke detectors, and D, we live on the most boring street in the whole United States of America, where nothing even remotely dangerous will happen. Period.” — Buzz
#55
“I got you milk, eggs, and fabric softener.” — Kevin
#56
“I hope I never see any of you jerks again!” — Kevin
#57
“KEVIN” — Kate
#58
“If you won’t use your heart, who cares if it gets broken? If you just keep it to yourself, maybe it’ll be like my rollerblades. When you do decide to try it, it won’t be any good. You should take a chance. Got nothing to lose.” — Kevin
#59
“It’s Christmas Eve. Good deeds count extra tonight. Think of an important thing you can do for others, and go do it. Just follow the star in your heart.” — Bird Lady
#60
“Howdy, do. This is Peter McCallister, the father. I’d like a hotel room please, with an extra large bed, a TV, and one of those little refrigerators you have to open with a key. Credit card? You got it.” — Kevin
#61
“My tie is in the bathroom and I can’t go in because UncleFrank is taking a shower. He says that if I walked in there and saw him naked, I’d grow up never feeling like a real man.” — Kevin
#62
“My family’s in Florida… I’m in… New York?” — Kevin
#63
“Fine, I don’t wanna be down there, anyway. I can’t trust anybody in this family. And you know what? If I had my own money, I’d go on my own vacation. *Alone*. Without any of you guys. And I’d have the most fun in my whole life.” — Kevin
#64
“You be positive. I’ll be realistic.” — UncleFrank
#65
“I’m gonna kill that kid!” — Marv
#66
“I have a friend who got nailed because there was a rumor he wore dinosaur pajamas.” — Kevin
#67
“American don’t fly to the promised land, little buddy.” — Marv
#68
“I hope your parents got you a tombstone for Christmas.” — Marv
#69
“You better say every prayer you ever heard, kid.” — Harry
#70
“Shut up, Marv! You got the right to remain silent, you know.” — Harry
#71
“May I do the thinking, please?” — Harry
#72
“Why the hell are you dressed like a chicken?” — Marv
#73
“Merry Christmas, little fella. We know that you’re in there and that you’re all alone.” — Harry
#74
“Why do I get treated like scum!” — Kevin
#75
“A lovely cheese pizza. Just for me.” — Kevin
#76
“Maybe they’re just too busy. Maybe they don’t forget about you, but they forget to remember you. People don’t mean to forget. My grandfather says if my head wasn’t screwed on, I’d leave it on the school bus.” — Kevin
#77
“I made myself go down to do some laundry, and I found out it’s not so bad. All this time I’ve been worried about it, but if you turn on the lights, it’s no big deal.” — Kevin about basement
#78
“I have been awake for almost 60 hours. I’m tired and I’m dirty. I have been from Chicago to Paris to Dallas to… where the hell am I?” — Kate
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