My favorite thoughts are the contradictory ones. Share your best ones here!
#1
My personal favorite is “If humans are 60% water, then is drinking water an act of cannibalism?”
Yeah, these are pretty dumb, but they’re FUNNY AND THATS ALL THAT MATTERS HERE
#2
Animals with wings, such as birds and bats, have four limbs – two legs and wings instead of arms.
But dragons, fairies and angels have wings in addition to arms, meaning they have six limbs.
So that means these creatures must be insects?
I spent a long time puzzling over this one once.
#3
Mine is “If you have sex with a vampire is it considered necrophilia?”
#4
If you can drink your drink then why can’t you food your food?
#5
Neil A backwards is Alien
#6
“oh my god the bee god was gay”
referring to a section of the poem “Eurydice” by Ocean Vuong, a prompt for my first prose competition ever held by the NEHS of my high school. I didn’t understand the perspective of the poem (assumedly the Bee God whose name i forgot, but was allegedly in love with Eurydice in the version of the myth i heard) for ages despite being part of the LGBTQ+ community as well, but when it clicked that the narrator was in love with Orpheus/at least vaguely jealous of their love, i could start writing and I won 3rd place :)
#7
I have so many really specific puns I could make that nobody would ever want to hear :(
#8
Shower question, more like… If you drink a whole bottle of food coloring, will your s**t be colored? I am in desperate need of an answer.
#9
Actual thought I had randomly in the shower:
“Mrs. Doubtfire, Mrs. Doubtfire, Mrs. Doubtfire, Mrs. Doubtfire, Mrs. Doubtfire…” (like, my thoughts were on an ENDLESS LOOP)
#10
Shower joint. Shower wine. Shower burrito. Natural eucalyptus hanging on the shower head wall. I’m a shower genius.
#11
Horror & Terror. Both dark/scary.
Horrible & Terrible. Same situation.
Horrific & Terrific. Suddenly meanings diverge.
#12
In “I Love Lucy” her husband’s name is Ricky Ricardo. As he is Cuban and Ricky is short for Ricardo; then his name would technically be Ricardo Ricardo.
#13
If ice cream is just frozen milk, why is melted ice cream not called milk? ALSO, ISN’T CHEESE JUST A LOAF OF MILK?! Now that I think about it, an omelet is a loaf of egg.
#14
Who was the first person to domesticate an animal? How did that happen? Did someone was like:
-“Hey, look at that bouncing boy on the top of the mountain. He’s got horns and hooves and can climb a rock wall…I am going to put him in a pen and take his wool”.
-“Hey, look at that apex predator! He’s got sharp teeth and can take down a moose with his friends! I am going to give him food and shelter, make him my best friend and make him help me hunt!
-Woah! Look at the miniature tiger! He is quick and agile and has razor sharp claws! I am going to let him into my cave and let him purr on my lap!
And then I hear a loud crash and have to step out of the shower to check what my cats have broken now…
#15
As I stood there waiting for the water to heat up. “What if instead of heating all the water in one place and piping it through the cold attic, we heat it where it is being used?”
#16
Tom Hardy
#17
Why didn’t Chuck Nolan played by Tom Hanks in Castaway just use the crystal face of the pocket watch Kelly (Helen Hunt) had given him to start a fire. Instead he spent an enormous amount of time and effort plus being injured before finally succeeding in “making fire?”
#18
Shower thoughts led me to realizing that I’m gay
#19
Hmm, what do you suppose this pulsating setting on my hand-held shower head is good for?
#20
you would give your guests cookies, but Chrome guest mode gives you no cookies
#21
1,000 dissertation ideas when my peers had none.
#22
this one happened the other day:
“how many bananas can someone eat before they die of radiation poisoning again?”
#23
If we continue counting until we have more numbers than there are atoms in the universe, how would we be able to record all those numbers?
#24
Why do we call it “rush hour” when nothing moves?
It’s like we’re all just standing still in our cars, contemplating life while pretending we’re in a race!
#25
One day, they’ll probably create a Harry Potter remake, and there’s nothing we can do to stop it.
#26
“what if I could make something that gives off illusions so I look like a boy?”
this was last month, and it has led to me drafting out an invention that you wear on your wrist that is controlled by a phone app that can give off an illusive appearance to give you things such as a beard, boobs, shorter hair etc, that is meant to help reduce dysphoria and boost euphoria in trans individuals
#27
How was Mr. Spock always able to calculate “the probability of success” for an event that was happening for the first time ever?
#28
How to defend myself should I be attacked by an intruder. I don’t like showers so this is in the bathtub (clearly I am in the vulnerable position easily could succumb to drowning or weapons). First I turn the shower nozzle facing the sink. Then I lift the little nozzle that will switch the water to the shower instead of faucet. Then I turn the water all the way to hot. Our water is scalding hot to the point of near boil. If a m**o tries to attack me 🥳 (that emoji is a typo but it feels appropriate so I will leave it) then I just pull the nozzle up and they get a face load of boiling water. Then I slip out of the tub and slide out the door like a walrus. There might be combat and I might get burned. Needless to say- bath time could be more relaxing and maybe I should try some new thoughts
#29
Why BP sold out ton reddit and instagram.
#30
“The water is too cold.”
#31
Why BP sold out to reddit and instagram.
#32
Why BP sold out to reddit and instagram.
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