Gossip Girl 3.16 “The Empire Strikes Jack” Recap

Gossip Girl 3.16 “The Empire Strikes Jack” Recap

Gossip Girl 3.16 “The Empire Strikes Jack” RecapSo Gossip Girl was horrifyingly crazy, but in a good way. Except for the whole Vanessa and Dan story line, which doesn’t need tampering with, especially with their “roadblock” of the week.

Chuck’s Family.

Chuck gets a rude wake up call when two hotel guards enter his suite to throw him out of his own hotel. On orders from Elizabeth, his mother! But Chuck wants to know what the deal is and gets the lowdown from the man himself: Jack Bass. After telling Chuck that he’s been had, it is Elizabeth who painfully asks for Chuck to leave. Later CB calls up the troops and he tells them that Jack must have something on Elizabeth for her to be a part of the ruse and he has to find out what it is.

Chuck confronts Elizabeth about her duplicity and what does Jack has on her. Elizabeth reveals that Jack has nothing on her. She loves him. Um… Come again??!! Chuck can’t believe his ears and feels that Elizabeth is on some heavy meth to think that Jack Bass even has a heart. He might not even know what that is! But Elizabeth stands firm that she loves Jack and cannot return the company.

Feeling like he has hit a snag, Chuck contacts Nate and Serena who think they have a plan to prove that Jack doesn’t know the concept of loving someone, especially Elizabeth. But the plan backfires when Jack catches onto them. Dammit…

Chuck eventually goes back to Elizabeth to plead with her one more time, but not only does Elizabeth drop one bombshell, she drops two. One being that when she said that she couldn’t give Chuck the hotel back, she literally meant that she couldn’t give it back. Why? Well she has already signed it over to Jack. Second bombshell? She’s not his real mother. That’s two counts of mean in the first degree in my book. Elizabeth also tells Chuck that she’s leaving and that she’s not coming back and that she hopes Jack comes with her.

But Jack just acquired a hotel and there is fun to be had. Elizabeth seems to have come to her senses and she tells Jack that he needs to kick rocks, but Jack chastises Elizabeth on that she has nowhere else to go and given that she ruined her only son’s life, she might be lonely as well. Damn…

Chuck later meets up with Blair and the two declare war on General Basstard himself and I cannot wait for them to take that son of a down.

Lil J Will Never Learn… God Help Us All…

After the disaster that was Damian has finally left Jenny’s system, Rufus finds it upon himself to reintroduce Jenny to her old true love: fashion. He gets Jenny a gig to work with Eleanor Waldorf on her next clothing line. Jenny easily gets back into the groove of things, especially after she and Eleanor smoothes out their ruffles from the last fiasco they had. But Jenny’s elated bliss is short lived when she finds out that she will be working with Agnes (Willa Holland), who I have affectionately dubbed “Lil Georgina”. The girls start off still bitter over their last squabble, but when Jenny calls a truce, Agnes accepts! Wait. What? I smell some divatastic ish is about to be served.

Later Eleanor gives good news to Jenny that she wants Jenny to have a permanent spot with her company. Wow, Jenny! Do NOT screw this up! Oh, damn. Agnes just gave the face of Satan, which means hell is not too far behind for Lil J. Damian texts Jenny asking for his stash, but she ignores the text, giving Agnes the full sordid history afterwards. Agnes has an idea. Depsite Jenny’s protests, Agness calls up Damian and sets a drop off location. She tells Jenny that she is only helping out her friend and that they should flush the drugs in front of Damian’s face when he arrives. Jenny relents and retrieves the drugs. Then when she isn’t looking, Agnes swipes the pills.

The fashion show is a success except that Jenny realizes that some of the models are high as a the prices the dresses on display will sell for. She confronts Agnes, who teases Jenny, but that doesn’t stop Jenny from trying to report everything to Eleanor. After Eleanor pretty much ignores Jenny’s pleas, because she is too busy praising Jenny, Agnes’s plan goes into action. Another model/helper gives Jenny a glass of wine as a symbol of Eleanor’s gratitude. Little does Jenny know that the drink is spiked with the narcotics stolen from Damian’s stash.

Thus begins Jenny’s drugged state and Agnes and friends drag the poor girl off to a club. But Nate, Gossip Girl’s Knight in Shining Armor, spots this and decides to tail the group. The girls reach a lounge and dump Jenny to be practically raped by some eager club dudes. Nate calls Jenny and she drunkenly tells him she has no clue where she is at. Nate eventually finds her and rescues her in the nick of time. Later, Nate gives Jenny a big brother talk after Jenny asks him what we have been asking since the season began, which is what’s wrong with her. Nate tells her that things will get better and they pretty much do when Eleanor texts Jenny, saying that the fashion prodigy is hired. Score for Jenny!

But Jenny seems to have grown a little attached to Mr. Archibald, which means that Jenny has not learned her lesson… Major deduction for Jenny.

Gossip Girl 3.16 “The Empire Strikes Jack” RecapBlair’s “Friends”

Eleanor has a dilemma. She needs ordinary girls to attend her fashion show since her aim her new line is for those who cannot afford high fashion and because the economy is in the crapper. Eleanor also has a client from a high end, but not costly store coming She enlists Blair in inviting as many of her friends possible. Um. What friends?

Blair freaks, because NYU practically doesn’t like her and the minions she do have might actually have brains and are not up for Blair’s crap. So what is a girl to do? Well, call up some old friends, of course! No, not Isabel, Hazel, or any of her high school lackeys. She decides to call up Brandyse the prostitute and company to pose as friends! Think this will end well? It actually does!

First, the client freaks out because the place is crawling with prostitutes and his business will not have his name attached to such filth. Blair takes this out on Brandyse, points out that the client meant that a male prostitute was in attendance, who just happens to be the client’s lover. The client is married with kids, supposedly. Blair? Work your magic, baby!!!

And she does, oh so well, until the client decides to get brand new and wants Eleanor to change the name of the clothing line and to lengthen the skirts and such. Before I can say “Sic him, Blair!”, Eleanor tells the client that he should kick rocks cause she is not selling out. After seeing her mom in action, Blair comes clean about everything, including her being friendless in NYC. Um, what about Serena, Nate, and Chuck? Later, Blair gets a surprise when three girls from Columbia are shocked to see that Blair is still alive and well since Gossip Girl hasn’t commented on her in ages. It is apparent that these girls worship Blair, which means that Columbia is looking mighty good right now for our girl Blair.

Vanessa and Dan Being “Vanessa and Dan”

While they prepare themselves to come out to their friends and family, Vanessa and Dan take a breather when they find out thatGossip Girl 3.16 “The Empire Strikes Jack” Recap the beans had already been spilled. Now they just have to deal right? Nope.

After Serena comments on how Vanessa and Dan are like she and Nate in the long-time friends who are now lovers department, she reveals to Vanessa how she and Nate keep things interesting. Vanessa gets some apprehension in her eyes and decide to take Serena’s advice up for consideration. She does some role playing for Dan, which falls flat, because Dan is clueless. Vanessa brings up the convo with Serena, but it again flies over Dan’s head. Later, Dan finally gets what Vanessa was talking about and tells her that their relationship pre dating is what made him fall for her in the first place. I might not have gotten that right, but it was in the ballpark of suckdom so there.

I actually love these two as a couple, but can we get them on some adventures or something?

See you guys next week!

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