Gossip Girl 3.12 “The Debarted” Recap

The last Gossip Girl of 2009 had a lot of high notes, and one big low note. Compared to last week’s outing, tonight’s episode was great in the last 15-20 minutes, but the ghost of Bart Bass bit… Uhhh…

The Set Up

Serena and Trip are driving on a dark windy road, but the cold weather outside can’t top the chilly atmosphere inside the car. After arguing over the radio, Trip apologizes for something, but Serena says the damage is already done. Then as Trip tells Serena he loves her and wants to try again and make it up, he doesn’t pay attention to the road. There is a family of wolves in the middle of the road and Serena screams for Trip to watch out. He swerves out the way and rams the car into a road rail.

Whoa!

12 Hours Earlier…

Trip and Serena are shacking up at his private home. He gets a call from Barney Frank about a political proposition and Serena cheers for him. Trip mentions that he has to talk to Grandfather Vanderbilt about the things that are going to head his way now that he is divorcing Maureen. He then leaves for groceries, but calls someone and asks them to meet up. Hmmmm….

Lily tears her closet up looking for the letter from Serena’s father, but she is SOL. Rufus notices something strange, but Lily feigns otherwise. She asks if he can attend a luncheon in her place and he reluctantly accepts.

Jenny has a never released handbag, but one of her minions, Sawyer, shows up with the same bag. So Jenny meanly tells the poor girl to get lost since Sawyer won’t get rid of her bag and let Jenny’s shine. The other two minions, Jane and Carmen, chose to go with Jenny’s bag and admire it out of fear of being outsed as well. But Sawyer is working for Eric and Kira to bring down Jenny, promising Sawyer the crown of Queen Bee if they succeed. Um, Eric, what happened to getting rid of the hierarchy all together?

At the coffee shop, Dan tells Nate how Gabriela noticed how Dan is deeply in love with Vanessa, who has eyes for drama snob Paul Hoffman. Nate tells Dan that he needs to man up and fight for Vanessa’s affections or get over it with meaningless sex. Into the coffee shop walks Vanessa and Willa and it is apparent that Willa has a thing for Dan. Vanessa informs Dan that Willa has invited them to her parent’s house for the weekend and adds that Paul is coming as well. Dan turns it down, but Nate helps change Dan’s mind by making it seem that Dan wants to go.

Blair tries to give Chuck breakfast in bed, but he is already dressed, ready to go and sporting a real funky attitude. She decides to go with him to go see a building to purchase. Turns out the building is a homeless shelter, which Blair can’t believe that Chuck is about to buy and put homeless people on the street. Blair knows where Chuck’s mind is at and tells him to his face about it. It is the anniversary of Bart’s death and it is weighing on Chuck’s consciousness. Quite literally it seems as Chuck is apparently haunted by the ghost of Bart Bass.

Um, is that a shark fin heading for Gossip Girl?

What To Do If Your A Scorned Woman…

Serena chills at Trip’s place, literally, while she waits for him to return. There is no cable, no WiFi, and no food. Who the hell lives like that these days? Serena calls Trip and he still lies to her about his whereabouts, which is having a conversation with Maureen who doesn’t want to let the marriage go at all. She tells Trip that he can have his fling, but she still wants the marriage and all the perks that come with it. Maureen also adds that she knew Trip would come to his senses when it came to his career. Trip says that even though he cares about his career, he cares more about Serena, who Maureen thinks is just a fling. So to be even more wicked, Maureen tells Trip that she and Serena will have a woman to woman talk. That sooo won’t go well.

Meanwhile, Serena calls Nate out of boredom and to see how he is doing. Nate tries to amuse Serena by guiding her to his and Trip’s old marijuana stash hidden in a copy of The Old Man and The Sea. Nate asks about Trip’s whereabouts and Serena answers that Trip is with Grandfather Vanderbilt, which puts a stink up Nate’s nose. He knows something is up.

Later after Serena tries for the umpteenth time to call Trip, Maureen shows up with enough ammo to blow Serena into the middle of a whirlwind of scandal. Maureen says Serena can have Trip in private, but she will have him in public and needs Serena to be Marilyn, while she is Jackie O. BURN! Serena threatens to tell Trip, but Maureen reveals that Trip already knows and is down with the plan. She also adds that if Serena gets out of pocket, she will reveal the letter to Rufus. What’s in the letter, you ask? Well my money was on Serena not being a van der Woodsen, but that was a stupid guess and the actual contents of the letter are way better.

Seems that Lily spent time with Serena’s dad in his hotel room while she was away taking care of CeCe. God knows what could’ve went down in there. And if Rufus finds out… Wooo Boy!

Serena, knowing that Maureen isn’t bluffing, calls Nate and tells him everything. Nate tells Serena that Trip is not with their grandfather, because their grandfather is in Bermuda. Serena is pissed and Nate orders his chauffeur to take him to Serena’s location.

Serena calls Lily, who is relieved to hear Serena is OK, but is dismayed to hear that Maureen has resorted to blackmail with the letter. She takes off to tend to Serena. Meanwhile, Trip returns and Serena gives him the third degree and asks him if everything Maureen said is true and if Nate isn’t lying out of jealousy. Trip comes clean and Serena has had it. But Trip asks to take Serena home so that they can talk.

We return to the scene of the crash and we find out that Trip came out unscathed. But when you think he is about to call the paramedics, he calls Maureen instead for help and leaves a bloody unconscious Serena in the car by herself.

Rufus and the Ladies Who Lunch

When Rufus arrives at the luncheon, one of the women, Holland Campbell, greets him and shares way too much info with him on her personal life. Rufus asks if the women ever met Bart and they say no and that since Rufus isn’t trying to maintain a Fortune 500 that they knew he would show up eventually. Hmm….

The Ghost of Bart Bass

I wish to God this had of been foreshadowed or at least taken place in flashbacks, because the whole Bart Bass haunting Chuck all of sudden doesn’t make sense to me. And it’s shark bait.

Chuck sits in his suite, while Bart pretty much berates his son for becoming too soft. He says that Blair is the cause of this and that despite all Chuck has done in the past year, he is still disappointed in him. Blair later shows up and notices that Chuck has been drinking rather heavily. He tells her to leave and doesn’t want to hear anything she has to say. He is buying the building, screw the homeless people in it and that’s the bottom line, because Stone Cold Bart says so. So sad. While Blair runs off, Bart tells Chuck that there is hope in him yet. Uh huh.

After Blair runs to Lily about Chuck’s cold shoulder and the fact that is it the anniversary of Bart’s death (which helps Lily ‘explain’ her weirdness to Rufus), Lily stops by with flowers and wants to visit Bart’s grave with Chuck. She gives Chuck a pep talk on how Bart was and how they need each other to bond over the loss of Bart. But Chuck says that he will honor his father by working. This is when Serena calls Lily and she leaves. Chuck angrily tosses out the flowers that Lily brought, because they weren’t yellow roses, his mother’s favorite.

To be continued…

Dan and Willa Make A Porno… Well Willa Does…

Dan stops by Willa’s dorm to meet up for the Trip, but Willa has other plans. She shows Dan an art video she made, which features her naked, and she and Dan get hot and heavy. That is until Dan can’t lie to himself any longer and stops them from going further.

Jenny vs. Eric: Round Two

Eric tries to convince Carmen and Jane of Jenny’s evilness, but he is one upped by Jenny as she has bought both girls the same purse that she has before the release date. The girls squeal in delight, while Eric seethes with anger. He asks Jenny how did she get the purses and thinks that she is using his mother’s money for popularity gain. Jenny ignores him and walks off with Jane and Carmen.

The Accident Repercussions…

– Nate shows up at the scene of the accident and sees the paramedics wheeling Serena from the driver’s side of the vehicle! Serena faintly asks where Trip is and she tells Nate that he was driving. Nate notices Serena’s head injury and the busted windshield on the passenger side. Nate gets pissed, calls Trip to tell him that he better show up at the hospital.

– Lily returns home to tell Rufus the truth, but is stopped by the call from the hospital.

– Dan is saved by the phone call from his parents, grabs Blair and Vanessa and heads for the hospital

– Blair calls Chuck, who was on his way to close the business deal. He tells the driver to go to the hospital that is holding Serena. Bart shows up to ask Chuck what is he doing. Chuck snaps and tells Bart to leave him alone. The driver notices, but Chuck tells the guy to stay focused on the road.

Nate waits outside the hospital for Trip to show up and when he does, he tells Trip how disappointed he is in him and what Trip has become. Trip asks about Serena and says that he did call the police, but that’s not enough for Nate, who promises to come clean when the police will ask what happened. Then Maureen enters and says that not only will she counter anyone else’s claim with a statement saying that she was with Trip the entire night, but that Grandfather Vanderbilt is behind this and can pretty much make the Sheriff of the region have the situation disappear. Maureen adds that with Serena’s background of drinking and drugs, the task isn’t so hard. Trip asks Nate if he can help him see Serena and Nate knocks Trip on his ass.

Serena and Lily talk in the hospital and Lily reveals that she didn’t have the chance to tell Rufus about the letter due to Serena’s accident. Lily leaves and Blair shows up looking like she stepped out the 1970s. Serena tells Blair that she was so right about this one and I have to agree.

Chuck shows up and he immediately flashes back to when Bart died. The pain hits him and he collapses and Blair is there to pick him up. He opens up and says how he has been pushing Blair away by trying to prove his father wrong. Blair tells Chuck that he didn’t run away from his father’s death bed because he couldn’t handle death, but because he couldn’t handle feelings and things are different now. She also reminds Chuck that he is a better man than his father ever was and this, people, is the Blair Waldorf I want to see on a regular basis: adult, sane, and hot. Blair then helps Chuck give his father a proper goodbye.

Jenny and Eric argue and then make up in all under thirty seconds. That’s it? Well, that was a letdown.

Rufus returns home and finds Maureen there with talk about not wanting anyone to suffer the same painful transgressions that she has with her marriage. She gives Rufus the letter and leaves, telling him to read it. That dirty wench!!!

As Vanessa thinks of all that could have happened to Serena, Dan stops her by saying he loves her. But Vanessa says a friendly “I Love You, Too”, but doesn’t get what Dan is saying at first. She thinks Dan didn’t mean it due to them both being under a lot of emotional distress and walks off to tend to Serena, leaving Dan dejected yet again…

Jay-Z’s duet with Alicia Keys, “Empire State of Mind”, plays over the closing moments which include:

– Lily returning home with the kids to find Rufus gone and the letter on the table.

– Rufus asks Holland for some advice.

– Dan returns to the flat alone, while Jenny sneaks out.

– Serena awakes to find Nate looking over her.

– Jenny meets up with Damian, who supplied the handbags for her. She thanks him and he says she earned them by helping him sell his product of Ecstasy on the streets, which seems like Jenny is becoming a pro at doing.

The final scene of Gossip Girl for 2009 ends with Chuck Bass driving to the graveyard to visit Bart’s grave, but finds a mysterious woman standing over the grave, sobbing. Chuck asks who is she and the woman only says in astonishment, “Charles?”, before running away. The woman had left yellow roses and a locket of Bart Bass.

Holy Mother of GOD! Chuck Bass’s mother is alive!!!!!

Text Messages!!!!

– Still do not like the whole Bart Bass haunting Chuck thing. Sure this was a send up of A Christmas Carol, but I would have rather that the writers went with flashbacks or intercuts like they did at the end of the episode. Having Chuck talking to his dead father/himself is like fodder for tabloids and other wolves in sheep clothing trying to get at Chuck’s fortune. Plus, it came out of left field since Chuck has been straight-laced since the season began and only had to worry about Blair’s childishness. I know that it is the anniversary of Bart’s death, but come on!

– Blair’s behavior tonight was what I have been asking for. Thank you, Gossip Girl, for an early Christmas gift!

– Maureen and Trip are complete idiots. 1) Serena and Trip were in Trip’s car. 2) there wasn’t any alcohol or drugs in Serena’s system. 3) Any damn tabloid can get toxicology reports if need be. I swear scheming in the Vanderbilt family is as second rate as The Hills: fake, bland, and pointless.

– Jenny and Eric. All of that for nothing. Don’t do that again, GG writers.

– Rufus and Lily better not go through another snag. I don’t think I can stand another snag.

See you guys in 2010!!!!