There is no “right” time to start dating after the loss of a loved one, and for Reddit user Throuoawayy, it took about 5 years to meet someone he was romantically interested in since the passing of his wife.
At first, things were going great. However, as the relationship progressed, the man started getting increasingly suspicious about his girlfriend’s behavior.
He couldn’t help but think that she was trying to turn herself into the woman he was married to, and this sent off all kinds of alarm bells in his head.
After years of grief, this widower started dating
Image credits: RDNE Stock project (not the actual photo)
But his new girlfriend began thinking he still wasn’t ready
Image credits: RDNE Stock project (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Dmitry Zvolskiy (not the actual photo)
Image credits: cottonbro studio (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Alena Darmel (not the actual photo)
Image credits: throuoawayy
Image credits: cottonbro studio (not the actual photo)
Licensed clinical social worker Jenni Jacobsen says that it’s possible to find love again after being widowed. “Grief takes time to heal, but many people eventually open their hearts to new relationships,” she writes.
“Love doesn’t replace the previous one; it’s a different chapter. People find companionship, support, and happiness in new connections. The timing varies for each individual, and some may never remarry. It’s a personal journey shaped by readiness, emotional healing, and the desire to share life with someone new.”
The key is that you want to be surrounding yourself with people who lift you up and understand you, and that includes the people you choose to date.
But it seems that the author of the story and his girlfriend just couldn’t fully empathize with each other.
Being the companion of a widower can be difficult. One may suspect that they’re valued mostly for their listening abilities and household organization skills.
Plus, the statistics aren’t very generous, either. The share of previously married adults ages 35 to 44 who had remarried dropped substantially from 76% to 57%.
So you can suspect that a widower’s response to their new partner’s sympathy doesn’t always mean he’s eager to tie the knot.
But a man who is ready to move on will signal if he wants a relationship that goes beyond appreciation of a tidy house, and it genuinely sounds that the Redditor was was trying to accept his girlfriend into his life.
People who read the story shared their thoughts on the difficult situation
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