When you’ve been dating someone for months, years or even decades, you become extremely in-tune with their behavior. If they’re having an off day, you’ll notice immediately. If they’re excited about something, they won’t be able to keep it a secret. And if they’re cheating on you, well, you might be able to pick up on that too.
Redditors have recently been discussing the first signs that people tend to notice when their partner is being unfaithful, so we’ve gathered their most accurate replies down below. From picking fights out of nowhere to suddenly needing to work overtime, these behaviors aren’t exactly proof, but they should raise some red flags. So be sure to upvote the things that you think everyone should be aware of in their relationships!
#1
Distance. Always distance. Emotionally, physically you can tell. It starts off with small things and then turns into complete disdain for you, when from your perspective, everything is going fine in the relationship. Always be cautious when they create distance out of nowhere.
Image source: Otherwise_Candy_8412, Alex Green
#2
Picking fights so they have an excuse to storm off and be somewhere for a while.
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#3
They’re suddenly working a lot of overtime with no money to show for it.
Image source: Writer_feetlover, cottonbro studio
#4
Suddenly acting like they hate you.
Image source: Maleficent-Figure141, Antoni Shkraba Studio
#5
Trust me when I say sometimes there is no sign, at all.
Image source: Illustrious-Land4404, Getty Images
#6
When the peace feels different.
Not the arguments – those come and go. It’s when the silence between you changes. They stop asking small questions, stop sharing pointless details, stop existing *with* you and start existing *next* to you.
You can feel the distance before you ever find the proof.
Image source: Dr-Figgleton, cottonbro studio
#7
They start accusing you of cheating. People usually project their fears onto other people.
Image source: GuyfromTrinidad99, Timur Weber
#8
The times my wife was cheating she would start to get mean and resentful towards me. There was always a component of her and her affair partners demonizing me.
Image source: grow_a_pear, Pavel Danilyuk
#9
If it’s a female , then sudden changes in grooming, in case of my wife , shaving frequently.
Image source: BenneIdli, Karola G
#10
A few would be suddenly dressing new and getting much mkre concerned about appearance. More than normal. Ultra secretive with their phone. My ex would stand outside the front door and delete messages before coming in. I was just looking through the peephole to time a surprise. After that I looked more often and every day she would stand there and delete messages. Good night measages also when we were in bed.
Then you get this feeling like they pick fights just to have an excuse to break up. The tone of the fights just seem different. Like they become bullies.
Then there is the night out with the friends. If I did get invited id always say I wouldnt go. Once I said id go and then the night out somehow got canceled. Didnt take a genius to figure it out.
Image source: visionsofcry, Ivan Samkov
#11
All of the sudden they have a “new friend” they want to show you and do things with all together…..
Yes sociopaths suck.
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#12
They start being distant, smile at their phone while texting someone without saying who, rarely call or text, or stop making plans.
Image source: MundaneWait9079, Andrea Piacquadio
#13
Change in behavior, going or staying out later than usual, Distancing themselves from me. The last straw for me is when they came back from grocery shopping, no groceries since “the lines were too long” and their hair was messy.
Image source: SavingsMuted3611, Michael Kucharski
#14
After an argument she leaves the apartment and returns two hours later in a much better mood and goes straight to the shower.
Image source: ProfessionalPin5993, cottonbro studio
#15
Telling stories about a “friend” or an “ex-coworker” a little too often.
Image source: shelli1206, Andres Ayrton
#16
My ex was turning his phone screen away, went out at night with vague excuses, came home with his vest pockets full of condoms (we didn’t use them) and had some lame excuse about it. Well he was cheating and she even moved in just 2 weeks after break up. He works in law now and makes a lot of money. Doesn’t surprise me, dude has no moral.
Image source: TanteTryntsje, MART PRODUCTION
#17
Overly protective of their phone.
Image source: Greeneyed_Wit, Budgeron Bach
#18
Sadly, they mention them in casual conversations.
Image source: tads73, charlesdeluvio
#19
Okay so one common thing I’ve noticed with my past experiences
Either they start love bombing and being more romantic (out of guilt)
Or they start distancing, being short fused, or start projecting.
I’m not saying all sweet ppl are cheaters I’m saying you know how your spouse usually is, even when they’re being sweet but you can tell when it’s a sweet moment out of love or guilt, you’ll just know.
Image source: glogir1, cottonbro studio
#20
Change your cell phone password and no longer allow you to know it.
Image source: Unlikely_West_4190, Jakub Zerdzicki
#21
Being irritated with you about everything.
Your very existence starts irritating them.
Image source: AdministrationIcy368, Alex Green
#22
They accuse you of it.
Image source: ZionOrion, Andrea Piacquadio
#23
My ex fiancé, 10 years together.
Spent the morning together watching our daughter at sports day.
30 minutes after leaving, she went to another man’s house, slept with him and carried on like normal.
No signs.
Image source: ghosthud1, A. C.
#24
Suddenly caring about the appearance of their teeth. Invisalign, veneers, etc. My friend is the town dentist and always knows.
Image source: Bright-Cartoonist-46, Arvind Philomin
#25
The biggest sign is your intuition — that quiet feeling that something just isn’t right. When your gut starts ringing alarm bells, don’t ignore it. That’s your first clue.
Cheating partners always have patterns, but they look different for everyone. Some might suddenly start doing more of something — being extra nice, dressing up, staying late at work — while others start doing less — showing less affection, less interest, less time together. Regardless of the details, your intuition will always be the number one sign that something’s off.
Image source: Bakwaas2000, Andrea Piacquadio
#26
More secretive. Less attention to you. Reduced interest in intimacy. Turns away when you try to kiss, or touch. Spending time texting, hiding the screen when you approach. Unaccounted for time away. Paying much more attention to their looks, and more primping, but not for time with you. If you do not share dwellings, their place is devoid of pictures of you, any indication that you exist.
Image source: AlternativeResult612, Getty Images
#27
For me is was an emotional distance forming followed by a severe defensiveness when I gently probed.
For example, I suspected she had feelings for her previous BF and when I talked to her she blew up at me. She was in a competitive graduate school program and what struck me as weird is she would go back home at times that didn’t match her school breaks, so she was missing easily +2 weeks or so each semester and that was keeping her back in her program. I realized she was cheating on me when I looked at the school schedule of her Ex and realized she was planning her trips home around _his_ schedule, not hers.
Image source: Firebolt164, Liza Summer
#28
Seeing “new text from *ex*” show up on the dash and they flinch and try to cancel it out as fast as possible. Never believe they are “just friends only” with their ex.
Image source: KitchenWitch021, Anna Shvets
#29
They ask you if you are cheating when you haven’t even thought of it.
Projection can be hard to control for the guilty.
Image source: Tr3sp4ss3r, Lia Bekyan
#30
Sudden obsession with a band/music that is way outside the boundaries of their usual taste. ie a punk girl demanding Mumford and sons. Or a hozier die hard getting her swiftie card.
Image source: ArmOk2463, Daniel J. Schwarz
#31
Slowly stops talking to you.
Image source: wetlettuce42, Ketut Subiyanto
#32
Getting annoyed easily.
Image source: Raymond7510, Andrea Piacquadio
#33
When you get that gut feeling many time’s I have ignored it and then been proved my initial gut feeling was spot on, trust your body.
Image source: Bazsticks, KATRIN BOLOVTSOVA
#34
Doesn’t come home at night.
Image source: ShamshuddinBadruddin
#35
They randomly start criticizing you for everything, stuff you wouldn’t even think of. It’s exhausting.
Image source: tinselt
#36
They stop trying. Completely. He was shut off, in his phone 24/7, worked “all this overtime” but also hid from me he had stopped paying rent entirely. Let it be a secret until he got us evicted. Gave me 3 weeks to pack up 8 years of my life with no help, no remorse, no anything, he sat there and watched me lose it, and then dropped me and my two daughters like we never mattered. Now he’s got a girlfriend 15 years younger. That doesn’t scream narcissist. Not at all. And he probably tells her I keep our daughter from him too. Knowing d**n well he hasn’t even text his own child in over a month now.
Image source: kaceysraceyy, Austin Guevara
#37
They’re pregnant.
Image source: Repulsive-Ratio-1778, Anastasiia Chepinska
#38
Mine always put his phone on do not disturb mode around me.
Image source: Ok_Ring_3421, Daniel Moises Magulado
#39
Secretive with their phones and they have places they need to go, usually to do with work, that you can’t go to. A sudden interest in their own appearance and looking better.
Image source: DecorumBlues, Andrea Piacquadio
#40
They get home and take a shower immediately.
Image source: Peas-Of-Wrath, Robbie
#41
Getting weird about their phone.
Mine is always available. My gf can grab it and make a call, check the weather, whatever
When people start getting weird about their phone there’s something going on .
Image source: Melcher, mikoto.raw Photographer
#42
The way they act with their phone.
Image source: IllustriousCod5957, ROMAN ODINTSOV
#43
Turning their phone away and taking it everywhere, including in the shower….
Image source: FlameBlossom7
#44
They treat you as less than human.
There’s a whole dehumanisation process that happens long before the cheating.
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#45
They start taking care of their personal appearance, all of a sudden.
Image source: Travelgrrl, MART PRODUCTION
#46
Protective of their phone, picking fights with you accusing YOU of cheating honeslty you feel it in your gut and soul I was having severe anxiety out of no where couldn’t figure it out and something just felt off every time I was around him.
Image source: Connect-Grade-904
#47
They start acting differently. Nicer, meaner, more distant, whatever. Vibe change.
Image source: csavastio
#48
One big thing: GASLIGHTING. 1) They try to accuse you of cheating/being interested in other people. 2). When you’re hanging out with friends they are constantly asking questions like “what’re you doing?” “who’s there?” and if you don’t respond quick enough for them they get suspicious.
Image source: mellowJello6
#49
When she says he’s just a friend.
Image source: chrisexv6
#50
I think the first thing you will notice is phone usage and phone protectiveness. People who don’t cheat are not scared to leave their phone lying about whilst they shower etc.
Image source: Elpdaaged
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