Every parent was once a kid themselves and grew up with all the rules that their parents taught them. Even though many people try to break the regressive patterns they grew up with, sometimes it can be really tough to do so, and it can spill over into the present.
That’s why one dad started getting irked by his 7-year-old son’s feminine hobbies and wanted him to become more manly. He even complimented the kid’s strength while working out, but refused to encourage his daughter when she did the same, which shocked his family.
More info: Reddit
Sometimes parents enforce gender roles on their children without even realizing the impact it can have
Image credits: Freepik / Magnific (not the actual photo)
The poster shared that he was concerned about his 7-year-old son’s effeminate behavior and wanted him to be more masculine in order to have a good father-son bond
Image credits: Jonathan Borba / Unsplash (not the actual photo)
When the man was working out, he encouraged his son to lift weights and complimented him on his strength, but didn’t do the same for his daughter
Image credits: bokodi / Magnific (not the actual photo)
The man’s family criticized him for enforcing gender roles, and he explained that his grandfather had done the same thing to his gay sibling when they were young
Image credits: supposedmisogynist
After the man realized his mistake, he decided to make it up to his kids by indulging in their interests as a way to bond, rather than forcing them to do what he wanted
Since the poster had two girls and one boy, he was concerned about his son, feeling that the little one was being too influenced by his sisters. He was also worried about the boy’s effeminate nature and feminine hobbies, so he wondered whether to get his son interested in more manly things.
Some parents might feel the pressure to steer their children toward activities that more traditionally fit their gender, but family experts explain that this can do more harm than good. This is because when kids are young, they might try many things to see what they like, and forcing them to conform to stereotypical ideas might just stifle their personalities.
Although the dad didn’t push his son too hard to become more manly, he encouraged him a lot when he decided to lift weights at the gym one day. Even though the poster was giving his son so many compliments on his strength, he didn’t do the same for his daughter when she lifted the same weights.
According to research, this kind of gender role-based encouragement can have unintended negative consequences on growing children because it might stop them from being truly themselves. Stereotypes like this can also make boys feel they need to hide their emotions and teach girls that physical strength is not important for them.
Image credits: Freepik / Magnific (not the actual photo)
Even though the man thought he was doing the right thing by pushing his son to be more masculine, he was shocked when his older daughter confronted him. She felt that he was forcing gender roles on the twins and being misogynistic by not encouraging the little girl the same way he did for the boy.
At first, the poster took time to reflect on his behavior, but he later realized that his daughter was absolutely right. He told netizens that he had picked up a lot of gender role-based behavior from his grandpa, who had done the same thing to his gay brother by making him feel bad about his femininity.
Most people don’t realize that many of the ideas they carry into adulthood are learned from their parents and other family members. That’s why it’s important to actually question such values or ideals and reflect on whether they still hold up in the present or need to be adapted.
Luckily, the OP took all the criticism to heart and decided to connect with his brother for advice on how to proceed. He also planned to better understand each of his children’s interests and enjoy those hobbies with them, rather than trying to get them to do what he felt they should.
Do you think it’s important for kids to break free from gender roles, or do you feel it’s something they should follow? We’d love to hear your thoughts on this matter.
Folks were shocked by the guy’s misogynistic beliefs, but were glad when he later decided to work on his way of thinking
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