There’s a good reason why a probation period exists for new hires. It acts as a ‘test run’ that is beneficial for both sides. During it, the employee can make sure that the company aligns with their goals and lives up to their expectations, while the employer reduces the risk of poor hires and ensures a good fit. Despite the mutual benefits, though, sometimes it happens that new hires are dismissed during the probation period, some even at record speeds, and for the most ridiculous reasons ever.
We gathered some of the fastest and craziest new hire firing instances from this popular thread below that are bound to make you feel better about your own performance at work. Scroll down to check them out for yourself, and don’t forget to upvote those dismissals that were totally deserved.
#1
Four or so hours. When I was 18 I got a job at a grocery store, along with three others. We all started training together. On the first day we were training in the evening, and one girl asked to go home, she said her head hurt. They said fine, she clocked out, went to grab a grocery cart and started filling it with beer and liquor. The store manager walked over, and asked her if she was having a party. She said yes. Didn’t even try to come up with an excuse. Just, “yeah, I am, so I needed to leave early on my first day.” basically. He fired her.
Image source: anon, Vitaly Gariev
#2
As a teenager, I worked at a bowling alley. Within an hour, a new girl was fired on the spot for dropping a ball on the foot of a complaining patron.
Image source: jeff_the_nurse, Curated Lifestyle
#3
Guy got hired, went through training and all that jazz. First day on the floor, he disappeared for 3 hours and then came back high as f**k on like m**h or something. A manager found him in the bathroom aisle, staring at himself in the mirror. Said manager looked at the cameras after firing him, the guy was there staring at himself for at least 30+ minutes.
Edit: edit to clear up some questions. I worked at Home Depot, he was in the aisle where we sell bathroom counter tops and medicine cabinets. We also have mirrors in this aisle and that’s where he was. Not in the bathroom haha.
Image source: anon, Adolfo Félix
#4
Worked in a grocery store for awhile: new guy took a lobster out of the tank and removed the elastic bands on its claws, then proceeded to put it back in the tank. The thing m******d all the other lobsters in the tank.
Image source: professorglock, Getty Images
#5
3 hours into the first shift. Guy lost it serving an annoying customer in a grocery shop, throw a cabbage at her. The manager came and told him to go home cause he finished there. He wasn’t surprised. I was standing next to him, it was an entertaining day.
Image source: Revolutionary_Oil897, Dixit Dhinakaran
#6
A man was hired to do stock at a tea store that sold lots of delicate China. Manager walked into the back on his like third day and saw him just throwing boxes of tea cups and teapots. Instantly fired.
Image source: 0bsolescencee, Yunus Tuğ
#7
I called a temp agency to get someone to help me count inventory. They sent a guy over with a cast on his arm…. That was my first wtf but I went with it because we were just counting parts. Then I came back from lunch and this dude was in my office chair zoned out and drooling on himself with a can of air duster in his lap. I kicked him awake and escorted him out of my warehouse. Never used that temp agency again.
Image source: grimcheesers, Getty Images
#8
Guy had been working a few days at a barn. Decided to smoke right by bales of hay. Manager saw him and fired him right on the spot. At farms, you don’t f**k around with fire.
Image source: The_Tell_Tale_Heart, Lluis Bazan
#9
He didn’t show up the first day, second day, or third day.
I had to work a double shift for three days straight. Not fun. I answered the phone when he finally ‘called in’ on the fourth day.
He said, “I’m going to be honest with you, I’ve been in Orlando. My parents paid for a small vacation as a reward for getting the job. Would it be okay to start next week instead of this week?”.
Image source: squeeeeenis, Curated Lifestyle
#10
Before their first day on orientation.
I got hired for a manufacturing job through Manpower (a temp agency). Me and a friend of my wife were both supposed to start on Monday at the plant for a week-long orientation.
She got into a fender bender on her way to orientation, and called them to say that she’d be a bit late, that she just needed to wait on the police to give a statement.
The manager told her not to bother ever coming in.
Girl was torn up. She took pictures and the police report in to the hiring manager, tried to explain things to the company HR managers, but no dice.
She was fired before ever clocking in.
Image source: DifficultMinute, Andy Vult
#11
I work construction. We had 2 new hires that were friends starting the same day. Boss told one take a coffee order and come back. Took everyone’s money and said he needed his friend to go with him cause it was a big order. They never came back.
Image source: anon, Allef Vinicius
#12
A 19 year old kid got hired to work the seafood counter. See him twice and then never again. Asked a coworker what happened.
He had closed seafood one night and was walking out of the store and the 5 pounds of crab legs he’d stuffed down the back of his pants fell out in front of the closing manager.
Edit: It was at a Publix. No, it was not Jameis Winston.
Image source: wanderin_fool, Frankie Latour
#13
New guy started on Monday and was gone by Friday.
The guy hit some racking in the warehouse with the forklift, boss saw him do it, and the guy decided to lie about it when asked if he knew what happened.
Image source: KnightofShaftsbury, Getty Images
#14
CoWorker. Smoked like every 40min for like 10min.
Then asked the Boss if he could leave an hour early because he didnt take his Lunch Break.
As my Boss said: “Sure you can, but you dont need to come back.”.
Image source: DantheAlcedo, Jack Baxter
#15
About 35 minutes
I hired a guy to work for me as quality inspector for merchandise headed to Walmart & Target. He bragged about everything he stole from his last job during training and how they paid him more than I did. Well, I’m not holding him back from all that money so I had some big guys escort him off the property.
Image source: Ed_Rock, Slavcho Malezan
#16
This was a while ago at my old job. New guy gets hired as a bus boy. He was super annoying and tried to insert himself into everyone’s conversation whether they wanted him there or not. It only took a couple of hours for the whole restaurant to hate him. I was working the bar and he kept eating the bar fruit. I personally didn’t care but the manager did. Manager comes over and tells him to stop eating the fruit. He looks the manager in the eye and eats another piece of fruit. Manager says “Really?” followed by “Come with me to the office”. New guy promptly replies with “Alright man, calm down. I can tell you got that big d**k energy for a good reason” followed with cliche wink and nudge from his elbow. In front of me and like 4 other employees. I wanted to slam my face into the ice bin, it was so cringey to witness.
He promptly walked out the front door 10 minutes later without his uniform on anymore. The worst thing about it was the manager was an insanely laid back guy. Hell, the whole restaurant was insanely laid back. You really had to try hard to get fired from this place. Had he not thrown in that big d**k line, I’m almost positive he would have just gotten a slap on the wrist and kept the job.
Image source: Slim_Thicc_Jesus, Andrew Leu
#17
This was just a summer job at a fast food place. We had a new girl start and within two days it was apparent she was an idiot and everyone knew that. You could already see the manager questioning his decision.
Then on her third day of work she said she couldn’t come in because her mom was in a car accident and in the hospital. Turns out that’s an easy thing to disprove in a relatively small town.
Image source: Hickspy, Curated Lifestyle
#18
Corporate chain restaurant
new server, aged mid 30s.
third day he was working we had to fire him mid shift. why? dude went in to the public rest rooms, with other guests clearly in there using the urinal, and started doing lines of blow off on the edge of the sink.
Image source: terenn_nash, Tim Mossholder
#19
I was fired on my second day as a line cook at a Mitzels Restaurant in Washington State back in the 90s. Turns out I was hired just to threaten the job security of a long-time line cook with an attitude problem; to keep him in line. He got the message and apologized to the manager, and I was fired for “breaking a yolk when flipping fried eggs” one time. I’d been a line cook for a few years by then and thought I was doing pretty good. I was taken out the back door and terminated on day 2.
Happened in Oak Harbor back in mid-1990s, so yes, I did find another job since then. I was pissed, but got over it quickly. Cooking for a living was hard work; standing in a hot kitchen for 10 hours at a time, going home splattered with grease, getting yelled at by waitstaff and management. I don’t do it anymore.
#20
First day of work, he walks in, says “what the f**k is up d*****s” to the guy that parked next to (didn’t touch) his new Camaro he bought since he got hired.
The guy was the CEO of the company I used to work for, on visit to our branch.
Literally ten minutes into his shift he was signing release papers.
Image source: NinthReever, Michael Kahn
#21
Coworker quit his job, great job, great pay, great benefits to work in a radio repair place. I mean, gotta do what you love and he was also a big radio enthusiast. Got fired the first day on the job for stealing parts for his own radios at home. Took him over a year to get back with us. Surprised they rehired him. He then got fired for being a security risk about a year or so later.
Image source: PresidentStone, Getty Images
#22
The IT crew at a large government office worked on a ticket system, meaning that the government workers submitted their problem online and one of the IT guys would pick it up on their end. The new guy just started his first day, logged into a computer at an empty office, and submitted a “reinstall entire OS” request so he could spend all day there. The manager decided to check in on him before lunch to see how he was doing, and he was completely asleep. Fired before they even finished his hiring paperwork.
Image source: UltimaCaitSith, Vitaly Gariev
#23
Guy got hired, while going through orientation realized that his ex gf worked there too, turned around and walked right out the front door.
Image source: Insectshelf3, Gursimrat Ganda
#24
Spent my summers in college working as a laborer for a construction company. Anyway, we were doing a bunch of renovation in an active hospital, so noise and dust were a huge concern. We were a small crew and just starting renovations on an area with a super tight schedule, so the company hired a subcontractor for some of the work.
Enter these two clowns who show up to do some demolition work. Foreman gives them the talk about how they may be used to doing things a certain way, but this is an active hospital so he’d rather the work take longer than for them to make a huge mess or a lot of noise. An hour later, we apparently got multiple complaints about the noise *and* the mess, so the foreman calls me up and says to go over there and clean up NOW, and that he’d be by shortly to see what the hell was going on.
These dudes had dust and broken wall *everywhere*. I could hear them half way down the hall, just smashing away without a care in the world. The foreman shows up and we walk into the room to witness this dude standing on a pile of rubble swinging a sledgehammer over his head at a brick wall that he’s removed the bottom from. Somehow the rest of this wall is still hanging from the ceiling, I have no idea how. Guy wasn’t even wearing a hard hat, apparently oblivious that at any moment that wall might give way and crush him.
The foreman lost his f*****g mind on these guys. Kicked them out immediately, and got on the phone with their company and told them he didn’t want to see these guys on site again. Lots of choice four letter words were used, even threatened to fire the subcontractor entirely and get someone else to do the work.
Image source: Davran, baikang yuan
#25
Heard this from a manager I worked with when I worked in fast food. There was this one kid who didn’t show up for work. He ditched work often, so the manager called around, couldn’t get anyone to fill in his shift, so she had to fill it for him.
A few hours into his shift, the dude ditching SHOWS UP, with his friends, and orders food from that manager. She fired him on the spot.
#26
Guy showed up to work on his first day with the smell of alcohol on his breath. (7am) when questioned he admitted to taking a couple swigs on the ways in to calm his first day nerves. Yeah, fired on the spot. Worked here less tha 20 minutes.
Image source: swix32
#27
New director starts, at lunchtime goes to cafeteria, pays for the first salad plate (by weight), then goes back twice for refills without paying. Cafeteria has cameras, cafeteria manager talks to the Partner in charge. New Director fired before the end of day.
Image source: lost_access
#28
First week, he’s called over to the unstaffed truffle counter by a customer. Hasn’t been trained in truffles, so he just grabs one from the display case and sells it to the customer. He doesn’t know the display “truffles” are made of plastic and the customer has already payed $90 for it when he realises. Still not sure if it was an honest mistake or if he was planning to pocket the money. Either way, fired.
Image source: sum_muthafuckn_where
#29
My sister was fired one day one. My dad had his own small medical practice and would hire me and my sisters as our “first job” to be his receptionist and file insurance claims, so we could get some workplace experience before we went job hunting in the larger world. My older sister worked for him in high school for a year. I worked for him for 2 years, then it came time for my younger sister to take over. I brought her to work to start training and said the number one rule in the office was, “At work he’s not dad, he’s the doctor and the boss.”
She sassed him in front of a patient her first day, with all the venom and sarcasm a teenage girl can muster when dealing with a parent asking her to do something. He fired her on the spot and I had drag her out of there. Mom told her at least she’d get paid for the couple of hours she managed to be employed.
Edited: My first Wholesome Award! Thanks!
Image source: gambitgrl
#30
This is the opposite route here but I found it amusing. My boss was out of town and I managed a tea shop near a Starbucks years ago. This kid came in (foreign) and said he was supposed to start today. We were hiring and I trained him etc. My boss came back two days later and had no idea. The kid was in the wrong place but he stayed with us. Hired on the spot without even applying.
Image source: ninetiesluddite
#31
New guy drove a forklift into a fire hydrant, in front of a safety rep for the company. His supervisor was called over, and he immediately tells the supervisor that he won’t pass a p**s test, as he used his only bottle of clean p**s earlier that day when he hired in.
Everybody standing there immediately burst into laughter, which continued as security (also laughing) escorted him off site. Even the supervisor was all smiles…just gave him a pat on the back and wished him the best of luck. It was wild.
Image source: fast_hand84
#32
My document processing clerk was getting married and going on his honeymoon so I got a short-term temp. It wasn’t a temp-to-hire, everything was out in the open through a legit temp agency who generally did pretty good screening. The temp’s very first day, they show up with a box of things; photos, mugs, office equipment (pen cup, task light, etc.), stuff to decorate a cubicle with. I advised them not to unpack, we were getting right into training. Within two hours after I cut them loose on a computer with a “Let me know if you need anything or have any questions”, they said, “This mouse is hurting my wrist. It gave me carpal tunnel. I’m going to need worker’s comp paperwork.” I made an immediate call to the agency ending this contract, then told the temp, “Your paperwork is at the temp agency office, go ahead and go see your rep there.” They left their box of stuff behind; I had to have the temp agency come pick it up.
Image source: pienoceros
#33
This guy hadn’t even started yet and just had his introductory email sent out to the whole company which ended with incredibly explicit details about himself. He got fired before he even started.
Edit: wow this is blowing up. I don’t have a lot more context I can give as it all happened so fast. Somehow the company deleted the email from our cloud inboxes when this was sent but not before a colleague grabbed a screenshot of it first. He was going to be a tier 2 tech for the IT company I work at a couple years back. He supposedly apologized profusely saying his friend played a prank on him but the damage had already been done.
Image source: HerrMilkmann, Getty Images
#34
Day 1 of training. Within the 6th hour of a 8 hour shift.
Worked in a old crank handle service elevator at a private residential condominium ( for very very very wealthy people ).
We told him just shut up and stare straight ahead. Don’t speak unless spoken to. Cause old rich people are mean and dont care about you.
Well what’s the new guy do? Starts a conversation right away and asks the resident, ” how much money do you make “.
Edit: To be more clear, it was a 1920s skyscraper in downtowm.
Image source: giancarlox21, cottonbro studio
#35
5 days. My boss hired an “Executive Chef”.. dude didn’t even know how to make a quesadilla…
Image source: jbiggs107, unsplash.com
#36
I used to do a lot of field work on site investigation programs – basically we’d hang out on a drill rig while the drillers took rock cores. We’d log the cores, take photos, do some down-hole tests, etc.
New engineer gets sent to site and gets assigned the night shift (some people love night shift, but most people don’t… hence sticking the junior with night shift.) After 5 nights he calls the office and says he wants to come home because he’s freezing and he hates it and he can’t do it. Not clear to me if he quit or got fired, but it became plain pretty quickly that this job wasn’t for him.
I got pulled onto that program, and I asked the drillers what the guy’s deal was… they had a propane heater in the back of their van, and despite repeated invitations to sit in the back of the van, buddy just sat in his truck all night and shivered. In the middle of February.
Image source: Red_AtNight, Deny Hill
#37
Not sure if it counts as being fired, but a guy in our basic training threatened a drill sergeant with a bayonet.
No idea what happened after he went to the hospital, but I didn’t see him again.
Image source: shroom2021
#38
Couldn’t pass the simple tests given at the end of new hire orientation. Yelled at test facilitator when she wouldn’t just take the test for him.
Image source: pdxchris
#39
Didn’t like the boss and on the first day took a p**s in the gas tank of his jeep.
Bragged about it and It was recorded too.
Image source: datacollect_ct
#40
A week.
I worked in a bar and a new girl started. At work, she seemed a little rough but was fine.
One day she finished a shift, sat at the bar and ordered a red wine with lemonade and ice in it (not really relevant to the story; just shows she is clearly insane). Her boyfriend came in, they had a huge domestic in front of my manager and several customers and she threw her drink over her bf and dramatically stormed out.
Image source: lejolipamplemousse
#41
I got hired as a long-term temp with one other person to do some basic data entry work at a major brand pretty much everyone has heard of. And it was at their corporate headquarters so pretty prestigious. Anyway, we went through all of this onboarding stuff in the morning that required us to get photo IDs and figure out parking and all that stuff. Then after 2 or 3 hours we were introduced to one of the employees in our new department who began going over what we were going to be doing. None of it seemed overly difficult and I figured that while it was new system I had never used before I’d be able to work it out in a few days as long as I asked questions and took notes. And that was the thing that made me realize that the other person who got hired with me probably lied on her resume and was completely out of her depth. She didn’t take any notes and didn’t ask any questions. And whenever I glanced at her I could see flashes of panic on her face. Well, lunchtime came and when we came back she said that another company had called her and offered her a permanent position and she couldn’t work with us ay longer. Both me and the person training us knew what was going on but I’ll give the other lady credit for finding a way out without losing face too badly.
The takeaway here is: Yes, “Fake it Until You Make it” can and does work. But you gotta’ be able to fake it. You can’t fake faking it.
Image source: PunchBeard
#42
We used to bet on which new-hire would last longer than a week. Gets hired, celebrates new job, d**g tested, gone by lunch!!!!
Image source: popesnutsack
#43
We had a new guy come in, go through all of the training on starting in our factory, lock out tag out and all of that stuff. Said he was an electrician. Then the very first job he was asked to do, he was found working on a machine with the power locked on. There are so many things wrong with that in an industrial setting, it’s unbelievable. My boss pulled him out of the machine, said “You’re too stupid to work here.” and walked him out of the building. I think he was an actual employee there for 3 days at that point and this was his first day actually on the production floor and not in training.
Bonus story because I apparently can’t read!
We had a guy go through the interview process, come in for his first day, take a tour of the plant and go to his car and go home.
It was a lime (no, not the fruit) processing plant. 2500F (1400C) kilns that turn limestone into activated lime. The whole place is filthy dirty all of the time, everything about that job sucked. I made it 4 months before the s**t management and s**t working conditions outweighed the pay. I am not surprised we had so many people quit within the first couple days or weeks of employment there, but this one guy was the fastest.
Edit: Sorry, I saw fired, but for some reason though “quit”.
Edit 2: For anyone confused about how he locked the power on. It was an electrical disconnect that mounts on the front of the electrical cabinet and has a [handle that has a loop you can put a lock through.](https://i.imgur.com/pMHRtrn.jpg) When it’s in the up and on position, you can put a lock through the loop, but it doesn’t do anything. This guy, after going through our worksite specific LOTO (Lock out tag out) course where they actually show you how to use these electrical disconnects, and someone who claims to be an electrician, put the lock on one of these in the on position and climbed into a machine. Not to mention that one of the steps of LOTO is to VERIFY that whatever you’ve locked out is off before stepping inside of it. Essentially, locking it in the on position wasn’t the only failure of procedure, but it was the dumbest one.
Image source: Buwaro
#44
Had a girl show up for her first day then no call no show for the next 3 days. Needless to say she was off the schedule by the 4th day.
Image source: anon
#45
This was a pizza place I worked at in college. New guy was started on Thursday. Fine worker we showed him the ropes. He was on subs which is the easiest job. The instructions are right in front of your face. Friday he no call no shows (it’s Friday. The busiest night of the week. And he and I were the only kitchen workers that weren’t also drivers). Monday a police officer shows up at the restaurant looking for him. No idea what happened as he wasn’t there. Tuesday the owner informed me he was let go.
Image source: anon
#46
During their onboarding training, they stole my bosses wallet on camera…. 1 hour in..
Image source: 123abdce
#47
I worked in a restaurant for my first job in high school. i was about 16 when we hired on my co worker/buddies little cousin. this kid was a year younger than me and a total s**t head, no one liked him because of his attitude and behavior issues.
anyways, kid gets hired and at first he’s chill. him and i both LOVED the same band so we had a mutual bond and common thing to talk about. other than that, couldn’t stand him much. but during his first week he starts to step on peoples toes quite easily because he notices some of us who are friends liked roasting each other and he thought he could join in but the comments he was making wasn’t silly banter, it was full blown rude comments that made some of us mad and get selective over when we’d joke back and forth with each other. we also started to notice this kid didn’t do his job properly either (he worked dish pit) when working alone, and his lack of proper cleaning of dishes, cutlery and etc. threw everyone behind on their closing tasks cause we’d have to ask him to re wash everything due to food chunks being all over things.
after two-three weeks a number of us complained to management, this kids older cousin even complained about him it got so bad. the last straw i think for him was taking this dishwasher sprayer and started to spray people as they walked into the kitchen, he got screamed at by a number of us and was fired a few days later when it was brought to management and noticed how angry all of us were with this kid.
Image source: urbanlulu
#48
I owned a construction business and we recently hired 3 new employees due to expansion. I didn’t get to meet them yet as my business partner was the one who interviewed them and watched them get started on the first day and would check in on them most mornings. Along with the new hired, we promoted one of our best workers to manager to oversee them.
So after a few days days I noticed that we were behind schedule on the job, this wasn’t all that surprising because we had the new hires but I decided its best to go in and check it out to make sure everything was going well. So I call up my manager and tell him to go to a different site (we did multiple sites each day) and that I will take over at the place with the new guys.
I arrive at the site half an hour late due to traffic and everyone is already hard at work, and in fact they are working efficiently and correctly on everything. I asked them a few questions about what they are doing and so on and get all the right answers. I figured the delay was just the first 2 days of learning and am very pleased that everything was picked up and seemed to go well. Now it is important that at this point I didn’t actually introduce myself and nobody asked who I was so it seems everyone just assumed that I was just another worker from the company they never met before.
So two hours before we are supposed to finish for the day, a guy comes over and says “Hey, just so you know, were all gonna head out now, but clock in that we worked the whole day. [manager] allows it, and the owners never notice.”
So that is the story of how I fired 3 new hires on the first day I met them… and also how I had to fire our best worker.
Image source: Broken_Castle
#49
New guy started at work (a bar). Seemed pretty cool. Three days later we were all sitting around having an end of shift drink when the manager calls the new guy into the office and fires him. New guy isn’t 21 yet. Why would you drink at work when the manager d**n well knows your age!?
Image source: 1000Mousefarts
#50
Not the funniest story but a few months before we all started working from home a new guy started and was fired within 1 day as we found out he has past convictions and had actually served part of his sentence in the prison he would be working in.
Didn’t find out until he started and someone recognised him. One of the vetting ladies was fired due to this as well, since she didn’t bother to do his checks properly before he started.
Image source: Lethal_bizzle94
#51
Where to begin.
One person didn’t show up for their second day citing culture shock and then spent at least an hour each day complaining about everything to HR. They were gone inside of a month.
Some other bloke refused to follow processes and called his manager “an irrelevant woman” in team meetings. Gone within a week.
My “favourite” was technically a new coworker from my perspective only as I’d only just become aware of their existence. They interpreted “we’re going to retire that server from production” as “we’re going to throw the hardware off of the roof into a skip” and proceeded to head down to the data centre, power the thing off in the middle of the day, drive to his friend’s office, plug the box in and deploy a bunch of IVR scripts he’d derived from our proprietary scripts so they could run a bunch of psychic and s*x hotlines.
He was gone within 10 minutes of getting that server back.
Image source: UltimateArsehole
#52
Ten-ish years ago working at a well known italian chain restaurant in the states, new hire server was only a couple weeks in. Regional manager had come for a surprise visit and as he walked into the kitchen this server proceeded to loudly exclaim “n*gga! Come on!!!” to the line cook. Regional manager was African American, server was white, server clocked out immediately.
Image source: Joe1nTheBox
#53
A day.
She was a high school student, still in training, and the boss basically a****d her. He didn’t give her a break during her first shift, was constantly looking over her shoulder and criticising everything. “Too big! Too small! Too curved! Too straight!” That wears on a 15 year old. She was not allowed to sit down, use the bathroom or eat. At the end of the day, she had blisters all over her hands from working unprotectedly in 2°C with metal equipment. She was nearly crying when her boss scolded her for putting the whipped cream on the side (per costumer’s request) instead of on top.
She got fired when she arrived the day after for being “late”. She was an hour early.
She was sad but also glad she didn’t have to work in that ice cream salon anymore. Her hands took a week to heal.
Image source: Ceolach_Boghadair
#54
First day of work, a coworker asks for a short break and some space in a storage closet to put down his prayer rug. Was fired almost immediately.
About six months later we were all laid off when the company went bankrupt paying out his discrimination lawsuit.
Image source: sjbluebirds
#55
I had a guy walk out before lunch
We didn’t do anything to scare him off all the sudden like 2 and a half hours into the shift he was just like “I gotta go man!” And when we asked what was wrong he just ignored us and said “I just gotta go!”
Called my boss she called HR and never heard what the story was but it was super
weird
Another odd story about a year ago from the case where the company sucked
I worked for a document sorting and security company, they’d scan your hard copy files and stuff, I was just a temp hired for this “big project” Hiring a lot of folks then one day like two days before Halloween they go “yeah so we don’t know when the Project will get here so we don’t need you all so…just don’t come back unless we call you”
One guy who was probably like 20 had started THE DAY BEFORE and this trash pile company just laid us all off
When they called me after thanksgiving to come back I just lied and said I had a new job, f**k that place.
Image source: snakebit1995
#56
We got a new contract for two receptionists to sit at our front desk. The company did not send their sharpest knives in the drawer because it was a low-dollar contract for only one year. You could consider the positions temporary.
They sent a guy that my security manager called “Sticks”. He was incredibly malnourished and thin.
We had a front door that was double door paned glass. I always exited through the side door and would look in through the glass doors every day when I left for home.
On Sticks’s second day, I looked in through the glass at the dark reception area and saw one of the office chairs behind the reception counter as it slowly spinned.
I entered back in through the side door and came into the the back of reception.
I found Sticks laying on the floor with an ergonomic office chair that had fallen on top of him. His head was bleeding from where he struck the floor or some other object. Also, in my peripheral vision, I saw a can of compressed air (the type for cleaning keyboards).
Sticks said he was perfectly fine. I helped him up and sent him home.
Over the next few days, other admin folks reported to me that they kept finding Sticks collapsed in the reception area when no one had been around. I finally called his corporate supervisor to come take him away. When the supervisor arrived, Sticks had locked himself in the supply closet and refused to talk to me. I could hear him huffing air behind the door. The supervisor talked to him through the door and finally escorted him back to company headquarters.
They fired him.
I called the company, and I learned that Sticks was a former service member who had served in combat. Looking at his résumé, I knew he was also a former EOD team member. I suspected he had substance a***e problems stemming from PTSD and head trauma.
I still had his contact information, so I contacted him a week later. From then on, I coached him every day until I finally got him an appointment with a volunteer from AMVETS who got him and his family help and care.
Today, I wish I knew where he was (this was more than 5 years ago). I hope that he took advantage of the help offered to him.
Because of this thread, I am going to text him right now and see how he is doing.
EDIT: Texted him. He didn’t remember me at first because it was 6 years ago. Told me that because of me, he went and got help from the veteran volunteers: “I ended up in in Richmond, got my problems figured out and I am infinitely better now. Thanks again!”
EDIT2: Wow! Thank you for all the awards and heart-warming comments!!!
Image source: DanielleAntenucci
#57
He refused to shake our female boss’ hand.
Image source: iEatPlankton
#58
I had an internship in college at a government agency. Another intern was told they could no longer work there at 3PM his first day due to his parent being a higher up and HR instituting a no nepotism policy.
Image source: anon
#59
She was hired because the manager thought she was hot. Turned out she was 15 and unable to actually work there.
Image source: PmYourSexyFemaleBody
#60
This dood showed up to run food at the restaurant I work at, and he never read the ticket and didn’t make any salads. He dropped a platter of food, spent 70% of his time standing around doing nothing. He was the slowest dishwasher ever, he took a water break every 2 minutes. My friend and I tried to drop him off but he body slammed the door so hard the airbag sensor got disconnected. H ate the food my coworker made for me, and then stood around and laughed when I got pissed. He’s 6’4 btw. Also 14. Anyway, my friend told him to leave because he just wasn’t doing anything productive and he shouldn’t get paid for wasting space. He cried and then never came back. I felt bad, but not really.
Image source: eagengabriel
#61
Had a co-worker get fired halfway through his first day. Was a well-qualified rep, plenty of industry experience and seemed cordial enough.. He got fired on his lunch break when management and HR took him to lunch and he made racist jokes about several ethnicities. He was going to be the rep for our El Paso market, which is incredibly diverse, so he was told not to even bother coming back from his lunch break.
Image source: Hefeweizzard
#62
He was escorted out by security on his second day, and promptly delivered to waiting police officers – about five of them.
He’d apparently beaten his wife pretty severely and then just left for work like nbd. Never thought that they’d come looking for him.
Image source: WitherBones
#63
I worked for a small city in LA for many years. I was on the board that interviewed for a new intern for the recreation department. We went through the process, made our choice, made the job offer to a nice, smart girl fresh out of college, she was a little bit of a hippy, casual, relatable, it was fine, all accepted.
The girl showed up with her gigantic pet (anaconda) edited: PYTHON wrapped around her neck on the first day.
She took ‘casual’ to a whole new level, right back out the door. We hired candidate #2 instead.
Image source: Wwwweeeeeeee
#64
Less than a week. Hired a new guy at the shop I worked at. When he got hired he did some side work at his house and claimed he did the work at said shop. He put a motor in a truck for some kid and the motor blew. Kids mom comes to the shop rasing hell over our s****y work. GM was out of town on a business trip so when he came back that Friday he fired him.
Image source: TheJazzyCatfish
#65
Day one, he hit a parked car in the parking lot, with the person still inside. When he was confronted he lost his mind and even used threats. The man he hit walked up to security and said “don’t let that man into my building. People like that don’t work for me”
He hit the directors Porsche..
Image source: anon
#66
Walks in 15 minutes late on his first day reeking of weed with bloodshot eyes. He didnt even get to clock in 😂.
Image source: AlwaysInTheFlowers
#67
I think 2 days. He destroyed some product but said he wasn’t, the Boss give him a order but he took a walk through the Warehouse, he got caught 2 times smoking outside (its not allowed we’re a food company and have a room for smoking) and He was suspected of stealing but there was no evidence. This all happened before our supervisor caught him the second time smoking outside and then fired him…
Image source: Shi5hunt3r
#68
On the first day, he showed up absolutely REEKING of pot and asked a bunch of people if they would buy him a burger. Later he started acting like we’d been best friends his whole life and told me to call him “snowman” said he could get me anything I wanted and asked if I did h****n smh, the hr lady was walking by and asked to see him in her office. Didn’t see him again.
Image source: Thathereredneck
#69
I dunno if this counts as fired or quitting, but I was working at a grocery store, and in the morning we have to unpack the stuff from the truck. Well, this girl was on her 2nd day, 1st time throwing truck, and she asked the manager to go out to her car to get something really quick. Long story short, she just drove off in the middle of her shift and never came back for another.
Image source: anon
#70
A shop I used to work at hired through a temporary agency,after a few months they either hired you full time or let you go.
They brought this one kid in,he worked good and they were going to hire him full time. The supervisor brought some paperwork for him to get hired on, he filled it out but forgot to sign something.
The supervisor brought the paper back to him to sign but couldn’t find him at first. She found him smoking during shift by by the emergency exit door. Had to fire him on the spot.
Image source: JoeBear1978
#71
Shortest ever was less than a half hour, including the HR “disciplinary”.
Guy arrived to start his first day in a fairly senior position. Part of the on-boarding process is the medical check, usually just eyesight, hearing, blood sugar, blood pressure. The nurse does his heart rate and its racing, blood pressure was all over the place, speech starts getting more slurred the longer he sits. Nurse asks him outright what he took, apparently he was nervous, so he decided to smoke a huge joint to calm his nerves.
HR came past and withdrew the offer of employment and he was out the door before 8:30. Tossed away a great job for a joint!!
Image source: jb123hpe
#72
Girl started working at my job , it was her first day and she said the n-word casually. As a young white lady on shift with my very take no s**t Black manager this was a killing blow and she was fired that day. My company has a zero tolerance policy on slurs, thank god.
She got maybe 3 hrs before she was fired 😂.
Image source: Alex_Wolfe00
#73
Backstory: I met a dude through another dude, and he and his pregnant girlfriend had no where to go. I had an insane amount of acreage and I felt bad for the guy, so I let him stay in his RV on my land, and I even hooked him up to running water and electricity, all of which I paid for. He had a part-time job delivering furniture and never made enough to pay me the paltry 100 bucks he promised to pay me every month for helping them out. When I’d confront him, he’d tell me he just never worked enough hours to provide for his girlfriend and pay me. I mean I’m sure the copious plumes of marijuana smoke coming from his RV, which was tiny, and contained his pregnant gf, didn’t help matters (I blaze too, this isn’t a judgement on tokin’, but a judgment on not paying your rent before toking). So, proactively I got him a job at the hardware store I was assistant manager at until I finished my degree. This was 11 years ago.
He came to work, and after 2 hours on his first day, just left. Like walked out, went back to the RV which was parked next to my house, and never said anything and never returned. Told me it was a b******t job that was beneath him. It seriously ruined my reputation at that store and luckily that wasn’t my career path or anything.
Image source: HauntofhighAFtower
#74
Incredibly strange office worker turned up each day with wet hair, wearing loose fitting pyjamas and shuffled around in her slippers.
Lasted about a week before she was let go.
Image source: astrokade
#75
This happened last week. New girl is hired and right off the bat starts telling me that she regrets taking this job (despite being unemployed for 4 months) because there are so many new people so it must be a bad job because high turnover. (Not really true. We just got bought by a large company and they are hiring more people because we have more business). She tells us all about how its her birthday and shes going drinking after work. Does a no call no show the next day which is her third day.
We all assume she quit. But the next day she comes in and starts just trying to work like nothing happened. The supervisor asked what happened and she said she got in a minor car accident. He asked why she didnt call and she said she doesn’t have a cell phone. Despite being on her cell phone constantly in the office. He decided to give ger one more chance but gave her a lecture about how she needs to communicate properly about missing work, and one more incident will be an automatic firing.
Next day no call no show.
Image source: advicemylifesux
#76
As a early 20 something i was a pizza delivery driver. this one girl had it out for me, she was a kiss-a*s to the manager and saw to it that i got fired. i got another job at another pizza place where i was on great terms with the manager. I came in after a day off and he told me that he had hired some girl and when he gave me her name, I said that was the b***h that got me fired from my last job.
he told me to send her into his office when she showed up.
she came in and recognized me as i told her the boss wanted to see her. she walked out of his office in a huff a minute or so later…. she never even got to clock in!
Image source: snotwimp
#77
He got caught using the Executive Lavatory.
It was off-limits to rank-and-file employees, but he did it anyway just to be daring.
Image source: anon
#78
Got a job doing light electrical assembly work, big three-phase cables, stripping wires and attaching a socket to one end, plug to the other. I was about 20, working my summers at uni. It was a sweet deal, they paid way above minimum wage for a dull f*****g job. They had a contract to make 1200 of these cables, and I could do about 30 a day by the time I left. They hired two of us on a 9 week contract or something.
First guy lasted until lunch time.
Second guy lasted a week.
Third guy was a big ol’ racist and lasted a day.
Finally, I just got a mate of mine to join me, and he and I loved it, earning decent money for a boring job.
Image source: eddthered86
#79
Said coworker showed up high on speed on her first day. We work in a hospital during a global pandemic…
Image source: Youre_late_for_tea
#80
At first he looked normal. Then sometime around lunch time he suddenly screamed on top of his lungs (if the office). When people run to him to see what’s going on he told them -“I was trying to see how loud i can scream”. He was gone before his screams echos stopped.
Image source: LeftChoux
#81
One and a half hours into shift as an animal care worker, I was showing my trainee how to clean the kitten rooms and started him on the easiest cage. We’re talking neonatal, six day old bottle feeder kittens. I explained how to set up the kennel, clean them up, etc.
I turned around to grab some towels and a fresh hot water bottle when I heard a thump. And then another thump.
Turned around and he was tossing the kittens to the other side of the kennel to move them. Like, underhand lobbing a softball, just tossed three kittens out of his way.
I freaked out and yanked his a*s down to the supervisor’s office. His excuse was the kittens were ‘attacking’ him, and he felt threatened? So he threw them!!
No warnings, fired on the spot. (The kittens all were fine and got adopted out a few months later. :) ).
Image source: thefanfraldarius
#82
Here’s one where the new hire tried his best.
He’s about 80, really black, slender, tall, retired drill sergeant. He could and would do perfect Morgan Freeman impression. His impression of Home Colburn telling Miss Daisy he is not going to hold it is genius level.
The position he was hired for was medical courier. Physically easy, but sometimes you have to hustle a little.
Let’s call him Home, ok?
Hoke, he had impeccable manners, would greet pretty much everyone he passed by. Too often, this would lead to a conversation, a long conversation.
The boss , a young USAF veteran, really tried to make it work, but the labs have to get delivered on time. Also, Hoke just never got the hang of using a smartphone.
Sadly, the final straw was he lost his driver’s license.
He hit multiple cars at a mega mart, not on the job, in his personal car, a 1974 Lincoln that he bought new.
His wife called the police and apparently there’s a law that says an officer can suspend someone’s license and then you have to retake the behind the wheel driving rest.
But, he was fired before he could retake the test.
Really miss that old man.
Image source: anon
#83
Not my co-worker, but many years ago (like 7+?) here on reddit, a guy posted, “i am a newly hired google fiber(i think it was??) technician, i start next week, ask me anything!” and then the next day posted, “i was fired for my AMA”.
Image source: drawingxflies
#84
It’s my first day after my 2-day weekend (food service, so days off vary from person to person). A guy comes in. I’ve never seen him before, but by his direction and my coworkers’ reactions, I can tell he’s a new employee. He’s smelling of alcohol. He grabs some food, without putting in an order for it, right in front of everyone, including one manager. He asks one of the servers where the takeout silverware is. Server redirects him to me, the host, since takeout stuff is part of my duties, not the servers’. I show him the silverware, he starts grumbling, and then returns to the server and gets on their case about why the hell didn’t *they* tell him where it is. This escalates to a fight that cumulates in him getting tackled to the floor by the manager and the cops being called.
Turns out, that wasn’t the first time he’s shown that kind of behavior. The day before he mouthed off at the *General Manager* after she instructed him to take out the trash, insisting that it wasn’t part of his job (it was). He later said that he didn’t know she was the GM, despite her shiny, golden (as opposed to the normal white) name tag with “General Manager” written on it.
We never saw him again after the fight.
He had been there only 2-3 days at most, and was still *in training* for the position he was hired for.
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#85
We had a recent college grad that would use his corporate card for personal purchases. He figured that the company would just keep deducting from his payroll until it was paid off. He was fired after three months of constant reminders to stop doing it. I don’t think it qualifies as the fastest, because he lasted three months, but it was so idiotic.
Image source: CBus-Eagle
#86
Not the quickest, it was around a week, but definitely the most memorable.
Drunken Office Manager head butted an autistic IT Recruitment Consultant after an argument about Brexit and then being shunned when cigars were handed out.
Image source: KunninLynguist
#87
The one thing that gets me about the no call/no show firings is the lack of management to call and at least to find out what’s going on. I know someone who fell into this, but ended being serious injured on their way to work on the 1st day. They were in the hospital in a coma for a week. Management didnt blink an eye and still said no call/no show.
Edit: Saw all the replies. I guess it does depend on the state to keep it a no call/no show firing. In my state, PA, as long as they do not discriminate, they can fire you when ever they want. If they’re smart, they do not say why as they do not have to, just that your services are no longer needed.
Image source: anon
#88
Brand new VP of HR was hired and was introduced to the staff in the morning meeting.
He got up in front of everybody and said “to break the ice I think I’ll tell a little joke”.
And then he proceeds to tell a racist joke with Asians as the butt of it.
New VP of HR.
Needless to say everybody’s jaw hit the floor and there was dead silence in the room. Instead of picking up on the fact that he said something that horrified everybody, he says “I guess you didn’t get it let me tell it again”.
Before he got two sentences into the joke another VP got up and put his arm around him and walked him out of the room.
The guy was immediately fired and never seen again.
He was always thereafter jokingly referred to as Rincoln.
Image source: JewsEatFruit
#89
I worked at a high security workspace for a while. Under no circumstance could you take photographs anywhere inside the building and you were strongly discouraged to post on social media were you worked. (Something to do with the competition finding things out)
So this guy took a picture of his employee pass on his first day and posted it on his Facebook talking about how happy he was with his new job. Work found out (I think his FB wasn’t even set on private) He was gone quite quickly after that.
Image source: uitSCHOT
#90
I worked at a Doggie Day Care. For group play dogs were put in rooms according to size and we would rotate through the rooms during our shifts. They hired a new girl and on her first day she went into the big dog room and cried hysterically because she was afraid of them.
I don’t think she made it two hours.
Image source: OrangeTree81
#91
Hired a helper on Monday… he doesn’t show on Wednesday…. claims police arrested him on suspicion of kidnapping his 17 1/2 year old girlfriend ( they both lived with her parents)….called the jail and they said he was never there… but was there three weeks earlier on suspicion of manufacturing e*****y… gave him a second chance… he doesn’t show….neighbors who’ve had some vandalism come to me and tell me there’s someone sneaking around the building… it was him.. he forgot the company name so was lurking to see the sign so he could figure out who to call in late to…
Image source: anon
#92
There was some news guy a couple years back, his first seconds on the air, unknown he was live, dropped the F bomb….he was fired that day. His news firing made it to the news.
Image source: ImInArea52
#93
I worked in the signage industry for many years. One day some guy walks in looking for work claiming to be a sign writer.
My boss asks him if he has brushes, he says absolutely.
So my boss says ok we need someone to go and paint a 5m logo on the wall at the gym. It’s basically a couple of circles with helvetica text in between and a stylized dancing man. Pretty basic stuff. We give him the layout and the paint and off the guy goes.
Four or five hours later we get a call from the owner of the gym. He tells my boss to come and fetch this guy before he has some kind of breakdown inside the gym.
We get there and he has literally got two tiny little artists brushes. A number 1 and a number 4 or something and he is trying to freehand this f*****g 5m circle with them. I almost c*****d a rib trying not to laugh at this guy. He was sweating bullets trying to get this done.
No mahl stick, no tape, no chalk line. Not even a normal 2 inch paintbrush. Just this little f*****g 4mm round paintbrush and he’s painting this 50mm thick circle by eye.
Holy s**t we laughed about that for days.
Image source: nartchie
#94
Call center job. Escalated customer service for a cell phone company.
Initial new employee training.
After the initial new hire paperwork was done, we were shown some of the various tasks we’d be doing.
One task involved customer bill complaints, that if a customer was being mis-billed, then we would need to correct their bill. They gave an example of the biggest case that that had ever hit the call center. Lufthansa, the German airline, apparently was exempt from certain taxes on their American cell phone accounts due to some treaty or something, but that hadn’t been implemented in our billing, so someone had to go through every account in their name and every bill, going ALL the way back to the creation of those accounts, and credit off tens of thousands of dollars worth of taxes.
This middle aged guy, who had already established himself to be snarky and bitter and sarcastic, makes some quip about:
“Oh great, our job is to give money back to the Nazis!”
The instructor spins around, stares straight at him and asks him to repeat what he said.
He sheepishly said it was nothing and he didn’t say anything of note.
The instructor just glared at him. For context, The instructor was a woman in some kind of conservative Islamic dress. I don’t know the proper term for it, but it wasn’t one of those full burqas. She was clearly very uptight and formal and proper. She didn’t like joking or cutting up in class, insisted on being addressed as Mrs. Mohammed instead of her first name, and was generally pretty stern.
We went on a scheduled break about a half-hour later. When he was walking back from the breakroom, he was intercepted by a security guard and someone that I would later learn was the General Manager of the whole site, and they took him to a side meeting room while the rest of us were filing into the training room. The guy was never seen again.
He worked for the company all of about 3 hours.
Image source: ProminentLocalPoster
#95
We hire through a temp agency with little background checks. I pretty much got a guy fired within (3?) days.
I am the only female on the shop floor and at the time the youngest team member by around 15/20 years.
At the time I was 19 and this guy who was 40 had just started. I instantly got a bad feeling when he just would not stop staring at me (several co-workers mentioned it to me). As well as asking personal questions within 10 minutes of meeting me.
Anyway, I could not get over this creepy vibe no matter what and it did not help that the guy kept screaming about conspiracy theories (did you know there is apparently an ice wall surrounding the flat earth and there are special “guards” with lasers that will shoot on site???).
Anyway, I had mentioned it to both my manager and my co workers that he absolutely terrified me with the vibes he was giving off. They agreed to keep an eye on me (we are a small team in a very old, large building with a LOT of hiding spaces and we our expected to do a lot of our work on an individual basis).
By the second day, the guy waited till we were alone and started saying “you’re not like other girls, you’re so nice and perfect and you would make an amazing wife” in a very creepy tone.
Cut to a few hours later the guy is shouting about how his current girlfriend is useless and a b***h and how much he hates her to the rest of the team on break.
By the third day, the guy starts screaming about his conspiracy theories again on break but starts acting aggressive towards those who question him. After break, another supervisor asks why I’m laughing and I quote what the guy said.
Long story short, the guy lasted another 3 hours before he was told he would not be coming back the next day.
Turns out the guy had also gone into the main offices and tried to convert people towards his branch of religion and would not stop the subject when asked by several staff members.
Image source: The-confused-alpaca
#96
Story time.
Some time around 2003, I was on a business trip and at the hotel the night before preparing for the client presentation.
7 of us that included me and a new sales director named Paul. We’re projecting the slide deck onto the wall using Paul’s laptop. Paul has to take another call so he leaves and we continue. Someone wants to add a slide with some of our company’s background so we open up a browser window to go to our company’s site and, of course, p**n opens up. The lady driving the laptop frantically tries to close the window but that just spawns 2 or 3 new windows with new p**n. She tried to stay ahead of it for like 10 seconds before just unplugging the laptop from the projector.
Dead silence for a few seconds. After the shock wears off, one of the women (60ish year old lady) stammers our “Ive never seen anything like that my entire life”
I’m the only guy in the room at the time and I’m getting strong “men are pigs” vibes from everyone else so I don’t say anything and try to look at small as possible.
Later, Paul rejoins is not knowing what had transpired. The most senior person in the room (a VP) asks everyone to step out and give her a min to speak with Paul. We come back like 30 mins later, Paul is understandably paler than he was earlier. No one mentions the p**n and we continue with prep and presentation the following day (using someone else’s laptop for the actual client meeting).
The following week, each of us are asked to HR to provide our summary. Paul sends out an apologies email saying his 14 year old son must have gotten on his cpu.
Anyway, Paul “resigned” before the end of the week and that was less than a month after he started.
Sorry Paul. The p**n really wasn’t that bad but you can’t do that s**t on a work laptop.
Image source: JK_NC
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