Real maturity, emotional intelligence, and common sense—these are all incredibly useful and helpful things to have. Unfortunately, they’re often in short supply. What you often see is a lot of posturing: people with self-esteem issues create the illusion that they’re incredibly intelligent, experienced, and refined when they’re anything but.
Today, we’re looking at what some internet users think are the signs of fake maturity, as shared in one online thread. Scroll down for a crash course on how to recognize when someone’s pretending to be a far more confident and emotionally in control grownup than they really are. Spoiler warning: cynicism isn’t the same as maturity!
Bored Panda wanted to learn how we can all develop our emotional intelligence, as well as why some people might pretend to be more mature than they actually are. Integrative therapist Abby Rawlinson, who is a registered member of the British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy (BACP) and the author of Reclaiming You, was kind enough to answer our questions. You’ll find the insights she shared with us as you read on.
#1
Inability to acknowledge the imperfections you have. You can not grow as a person unless you accept that you still need to.
Image source: RafeReddits, Felicity Tai
#2
One I learned recently, in an apology if the person says “I’m sorry IF what I did hurt you.”
They are only apologizing for being caught, or that you were upset by the action/words. They aren’t actually owning up to their mistake.
Image source: editmycupcakez, Yaroslav Shuraev
#3
Unwillingness to enjoy things
Real maturity allows you to read the YA novel or dress up for Halloween or buy a balloon at the circus. False maturity refuses to have any fun.
Image source: unlovelyladybartleby, Brooke Cagle
#4
Faking your depression to post it on social media.
Image source: AlbiTuri05, mikoto.raw Photographer
#5
“I’m not yelling at you. I’m just raising my voice”.
Image source: wifeofundyne, Timur Weber
#6
Rushing to accomplish life goals.
Things like marriage or having children *are* accomplishments, but some people struggle with being patient for those things to come after reaching adulthood. Doing so can put themselves in a position where those life changes are not financially sound choices, or, in another way, it leaves a sort of vacancy of what to do in life after those things are done.
Image source: CrunchyKorm, Norbert Buduczki
#7
Talking about a subject with the most absolute confidence and if someone points out that you got something wrong, you then go and berate them and tell them that you can’t be wrong because you know you’re right.
Image source: OneSilentPerspective, drobotdean
#8
Constant bragging.
Image source: Internal_Dance_2993, Priscilla Du Preez
#9
Liking mature, dark shows for the sake of them being dark and mature whilst looking down on those who prefer something light-hearted.
Image source: Negirno, Mollie Sivaram
#10
After breaking up, blasting the other person on Reddit while refusing to take any responsibility and claiming your own superior “emotional maturity”.
Image source: hiswifenotyours, Getty Images
#11
Saying other people are “childish” for enjoying life or making mistakes.
Posting every emotional matter online.
Constantly trying to prove you have a “I don’t need anyone” mentality
Rushing, getting married or pregnant on purpose without much thought for finances or emotional ability to handle it in the long run.
Image source: cyclic-magnolia, Daiga Ellaby
#12
Trying to sound profound or clever.
Image source: deanfranz12, cottonbro studio
#13
Having an attitude that everything sucks.
Image source: BarcodeNinja, Adrian Swancar
#14
Buying expensive stuff. It’s easy to swipe a credit card, a whole different thing to actually pay for it.
Image source: silentpropanda, Getty Images
#15
If words don’t reflect actions. It’s easy to say something. Living by what you say is harder to do.
Image source: Slatedtoprone, DisobeyArtPh
#16
Complacency with authority.
Image source: Playingpokerwithgod, Yunus Tuğ
#17
Extreme polarity on views and leaving no room for empathy. Also, unwillingness to agree to disagree.
Image source: greenpalladiumpower, Timur Weber
#18
Swearing every other word.
Image source: -benpiano800-, Jed Villejo
#19
Being hypercritical, hypercynical, or excessively jaded about everything.
Image source: schnit123
#20
Inability to get along with, or respect people with different opinions. Especially political.
Part of maturity is being able to keep an open mind, and consider other perspectives.
Image source: RafeReddits, Budgeron Bach
#21
Raising your voice when your not in danger. Criticizing someone behind their back instead of talking directly to them. Talking a lot about what you know compared to asking questions and just listening.
Image source: Maddog_95
#22
Having a condescending, patronizing attitude by default when talking to people.
It basically says “I will assume that I am more mature than you, so I will talk to you like you are a child and I am a responsible adult.”.
Image source: PutYaGunsOn
#23
Trying to act like you have life experience from your mistakes without actually learning anything from those mistakes.
Image source: Smile-Fearless, Nini FromParis
#24
“I was born in the wrong generation”.
Image source: Zkenny13, Frank Flores
#25
Projection during arguments.
I.e. “I would never do that.”.
Image source: 25BicsOnMyBureau, Curated Lifestyle
#26
Doing things just to look cool and mature.
Like that colleague of mine who smokes cigars despite obviously not liking them.
Same guy once told me that I absolutely *have* to drink wine, because drinking wine is stylish.
Btw, he’s in his 40s….
Image source: Ok_Distance9511
#27
Literally stating that they’re “mature” now lmao.
Image source: Keone_710
#28
People getting offended by swearing. I’m 32 I had a man chastise me to talk like an adult yesterday. In a setting which wasn’t work but was clear I was the one “in charge”.
Image source: allentomes, tetyanaafshar
#29
Dating someone 35+ when you’re 19 and then defending it in relationship subreddits.
Image source: NoBussyHussy, Mindy Sabiston
#30
Maxed out credit cards while borrowing money.
Image source: celest_99
#31
People who rant about their partners lacking maturity are usually the least mature.
Like attracts like.
Image source: DisposableMale76
#32
I saw a few answers before this and none are wrong.
I’ll go with talk like a man of nobility from 1800 (I found 2 of those kind of guys).
Image source: MemoCremisi, freepik
#33
Laying about age.
Image source: Seeker_Of_Knowledge-
#34
Using uncommon words to communicate their message. I love words too, but many sentences do not need more exotic words to explain your point.
Image source: sane-ish, Antoni Shkraba
#35
Insisting on doing everything alone by yourself.
Image source: darth_nadoma, Meg Aghamyan
#36
Some girls hold their starbucks cup very intentionally strange like they want to show the world they are holding the cup and show they drink coffee and they act as if they are the busiest, most important person in the room.
I can’t really describe it perfectly, but it 100% is pretentiously fake-maturity. Usually young adults do that who still think being grown up is something interesting.
Image source: Princess–Azula
#37
Posting your success online.
Image source: babyydolllll
#38
Driving a vehicle. Just because you can drive, doesn’t mean you are mature.
Image source: anon
#39
Lacks humility and doesn’t like rock and roll.
Image source: Im-Responsible, Priscilla Du Preez 🇨🇦
#40
Anything cryptocurrency because they oughta know that it takes away the value from the American dollar.
Image source: anon
#41
Pretending to like olives.
Image source: imalasAsalami
Follow Us
