Our actions have consequences, and not just for us but for everyone they touch. So, in order to get a better understanding of the scope of that impact, Reddit user Parazitu asked others on the platform to describe the things they did—whether on purpose or not—that ruined another person’s future.
The responses were brutally honest, ranging from small mistakes in personal relationships that slowly spiraled out of control to dirty business schemes that instantly fell apart. Together, they remind us that in life, unlike in a video game, we don’t have the option to “reload last checkpoint.”
#1
He claimed during the trial I had ruined his life. That I caused relationship problems with him and his girlfriend. That this was all so stressful, his grades were falling. He said he wished he’d never met me. Because I ruined his life. Because somehow that was my fault. It was my fault he forced himself upon me and cheated on his girlfriend, with a girl who wasn’t consenting to any of it. I ruined his life. He won’t be able to work in certain places anymore. Because I pressed charges. I ruined his life.
Never once did he stop to think that maybe, just maybe, he ruined mine.
Edit- thanks for the gold, stranger.
Edit 2- out of sheer coincidence I found out the verdict of the trial today. They concluded that there was not enough evidence to convict him, although they wish they could.
Edit 3- again, thanks to the people gilding this. I am sad that so many people can identify with my post and the experience I went through. Even though I can’t reply to them all, I’m reading everyone’s responses. You are such lovely people.
Image source: sugarminttwist, EyeEm / freepik (not the actual photo)
#2
Met a girl in university and we started messing around. Just a casual situation once or twice a week if one of us needed some relief kind of thing. Maybe two months in or so and I got a call from the girl’s SO. Apparently she was engaged. He was not a happy man. I guess it was really her fault, but I was part of the mess. Turned out her SO and I had some friends in common and I heard his life fell apart for a few years. He’s married and has a family now. Still not a fan of mine though.
Image source: anon, Getty Images / unsplash (not the actual photo)
#3
I explained to a militant vegan of 5 years that Laksa Thai soup has milk-product in it. She’d eaten it for breakfast every morning for all of those 5 years. She wouldn’t stop crying after I told her.
Edit: It was Laksa Cup of Soups that did indeed have milk-products in them. Calm your teats.
Also I posted in this thread very early on, expecting my comment to get buried. I didn’t realize the tone of other people’s confessions would be so dark. Please stop commenting “Well this is hardly life ruining hurr durr”.
Image source: anon, Andrej Lišakov / unsplash (not the actual photo)
#4
In college, I had a roomie with a full ride plus about 4k a semester extra in scholarships. He had a 4.0. Then I introduced him to EverQuest. Every semester after that moment, he had a 0 GPA. Full Fs in every class. Lost everything. Went home to bag groceries. I still think about him. He was a great guy.
Image source: rodgercattelli, Jonny Gios / unsplash (not the actual photo)
#5
I was at a 17th birthday party, it was late and we were all pretty drunk, myself and a mate headed across the road to get some food at a chipper. We were attempting to chat up the girl behind the counter and offering her a swig from our bottle of vodka. This older man comes in and is in general good spirits so we offer him a drink, he declines, we offer him again, once again declines but we are drunk and persistent and dont let up. Eventually after a good 2 or 3 mins of us badgering him he gives in, swamps the rest of the bottle and leaves without ordering anything. The girl behind the counter tells us that he is a recovering alcoholic. We feel [awful] but were drunk so it dosent last to long, we go on with our night and think nothing more of it. Fast forward a week and the man we met in the chipper is passed out at 9 in the morning covered in vomit outside a shop by our school. Then it dawns on us that we are the cause of this, we gave him the vodka and knocked him off the wagon. 5 years on and I still feel [awful] over this. I like to believe that he did get his act together in the end but I dont think thats the case. That’s my story.
Image source: simplybusiness, dmytro_sidelnikov / freepik (not the actual photo)
#6
I know a girl who got drunk for the first time.
Made out with a person in the grade above her.
It was her first kiss and she was pissed so she reported him for harassment.
He got deported to a military school.
I don’t quite know how she lives with herself although i’m sure she feels she is self justified…
Image source: ADP_God, Arturo Esparza / unsplash (not the actual photo)
#7
I was in a long term relationship with a girl that suffered from depression. Other than fairly rare incidences of her breaking down in tears for no discernible reason, it didn’t really show itself much. She also had quite a bit of social anxiety.
Eventually our relationship faded and I made the decision to end it, which led to her behavior becoming increasingly bizarre (we shared a lease and foolishly attempted to live together for the last few months post-breakup), culminating in me finding her passed out on the living room floor with an empty wine bottle in one hand and a large kitchen knife in the other. I disarmed her, called her mother and demanded she drive 250 miles RIGHT NOW to collect her. Later I found out she tried to drive back to me while heavily medicated and had to be involuntarily committed.
Ten years later we finally spoke again through mutual friends, and eventually we grew comfortable enough to meet for a drink. She has never dated anyone else (I was her first relationship, first lover, etc.) and works 80+ hours a week. She makes quite a bit of money, drives a brand new luxury car, and owns a couple of nice properties. She has no friends and no social life, and her relentless work schedule has begun to take a serious toll on her health.
I was too young to understand what sort of toll depression can take on a person, and I always wonder if I could have helped her if I had stuck it out a little longer. She had come quite a long way towards being more comfortable in social situations in the time we were together. I know that’s not a good reason to continue a relationship, but dammit, when I met her I was partying my brains out every night, and dating her (a non-drinker) quite literally saved my life.
I wish I could have helped her the way she helped me.
Image source: anon, freepik (not the actual photo)
#8
When I was in 5th grade I didn’t really know where I fit in so I became a follower. In sunday school a boy started attending who was slightly mentally slow. Still very functional, but something was obviously wrong. Some boys made fun of him and I helped. I remember one sunday, his grandmother got in front of the congregation and told everyone how her grandson vowed to never go back to Church because of how mean we were. That’s the last I ever saw of Jeremy. This haunted me for years. Last year, I decided I needed to apologize to clear my conscience. It took me awhile to find him and talk to him. He is now married with a child and seems to be doing really well at life.
Image source: anon, Richard Stachmann / unsplash (not the actual photo)
#9
In short; met a girl online from South America, started to chat loads. We got on really well but were both kind of poor at the time. We decide it’s a great idea for me to send her money and for her to buy and smuggle [illegal substances] into the UK. It wasn’t.
She was caught and sentenced to 8 years but served 3. I know that she was telling the truth as I have seen dozens of photos of her in jail. It breaks me to think about how badly I have messed up her life.
She now lives about an hour from me but I can’t face the thought of seeing her after what I put her through.
I was not a nice person at that time in my life.
I tried to be supportive and “be there for her” while she was in prison; turns out I’m a total [jerk] and started dating a girl from my town while this was going on. Fast forward 2 years and my (now) fiancé finds emails between the two of us signed off with “I love you” (I didn’t want to break the other girls heart while she was still in prison). That was a partial catalyst to that relationship breaking up so, at least karma came to mess with me a little to try and even things out! The other girl has now got a child and has been married a year, living in the UK and has a fairly successful career as a vocalist for some club nights here. I wish her all the best and would love to see her but I couldn’t bare to look her in the eye. I feel awful typing this out; as you can imagine, I don’t talk about it much.
Image source: Kai420, Erik Torres / unsplash (not the actual photo)
#10
I born in Maryland but moved with my parents to S. Korea (where they are originally from, they just wanted me to be a US Citizen). While going to school there, I had 1 best friend. In South Korea, the culture and mentality is entirely different than that of America. Pride and respect goes a long way. One day, my best friend suddenly started to back-stab me. I trusted him as a great friend and he took that trust and threw it down the drain when he decided to bully me and disrespect me in front of the student body. He used my life secrets against me… and that to me… is the ultimate disrespect coming from a so-called best friend.
So… one day I confronted him to fight him. (In S. Korea, fighting is very common; even males vs. females.) He spit in my face when I called him out so I tackled him to the floor and I begin to stomp on his legs. Non-stop stomping for all the pain and embarrassment my “best friend” started. A lot of this was fueled by anger.
*As a result*, he ended up with two broken legs and his parents confronted my parents and sued them. He got a settlement to pay for all medical damages and get paid up to 900,000 because he was not able to walk anymore. He is permanently in a wheelchair and cannot work a normal job. I was 12 at the time, and I did not know better.
To this day, I stand strong by my case that nobody should ever take advantage of another persons trust. But I am very sorry that his life is the way it is… My parents pushed me to live in America, away from S. Korea. I am basically on my own and my parents were so upset, they put all their time into focusing on my little brother (who is attending a famous music school in France). But it is okay, I deserved this and now I am doing the best I can in college and work. I really do feel like the lowest of the lowest when I think about what happened… this is my story.
Image source: anon, Getty Images / unsplash (not the actual photo)
#11
Flirting.
I was DJing a wedding. At this time I still had my piercings in. Started a friendly conversation with this hot girl over our piercings. Did not know she was married to one of the groomsmen. They got into a fight and left the hall.
This is what I got from other people at the party and the newspaper;
Down the road they stopped to continue fighting. This was out in the country so no street lights. Police come by and ask what is wrong…asks him to cross the road and wait while the police officer spoke to his wife. He calms down and come back on his own accord. Remember it’s a dark road with no street lights and he is in a black tux. He did not look both ways. He meet the front end of a semi going 80kph. Right in front of his wife at 10:30pm…90 mins before their 1st anniversary. His twin brother was another groomsmen and collapsed when he heard. The reception ended. Bride and Groom could not change their honeymoon plans as they were leaving the next day.
Image source: anon, EyeEm / freepik (not the actual photo)
#12
I work at for a medical insurance company. Destroying people’s lives is my profession.
Image source: conto, Getty Images / unsplash (not the actual photo)
#13
I flipped an ATV and paralyzed myself. No, I’m not talking about destroying my life. My injury destroyed my husband’s life. Poor guy. A disabled wife is not what he signed up for.
Image source: Kriket308, Getty Images / unsplash (not the actual photo)
#14
When I was in high school one of my best friends and 3-4 other kids would all go and ding dong ditch the same house nearly every weekend. We would stay the night at his house, then sneak out and hit the same house, over and over and over. The guy that lived there was this huge biker, like 6’5″ 300 lbs. bald head, tattoos, everything, but he was old maybe 50-60. We were looking for a rush so we hit his house, I don’t know why, but we did. This went on for a while, a month, maybe two. Almost every weekend we went rang his doorbell hid, watched him come out with a flashlight and look but he never saw us.
Eventually he sets up a camera and catches my best friend and another guy on camera, they were the only two that night. Turns out he has a son that goes to our high school, so he ID’d them. Well as it turns out one night when he walked out to look for us he stepped on a nail, but he has diabetes and somehow didn’t notice. He ended up losing his leg from the infection, and within a year he was gone.
Image source: Valley_Style, Amirhossein Hasani / unsplash (not the actual photo)
#15
My first gf cheated on me but still had feelings for me so a few years later i convinced her to leave her fiance…then *NEVER* spoke to her again.
Image source: anon, Curated Lifestyle / unsplash (not the actual photo)
#16
My wife and I were on the rocks, on again off again after her cheating. I met a girl during one of our “off” times and ended up introducing the two of them. The 3 of us went out drinking and dancing one night. I had a few (read 5) beers over the course of a few hours. We were driving back to my place when I blacked out and lost control of the car. Our mutual girlfriend lost her arm in the wreck.
She says she forgives me and she’s moved on with her life, she’s found a good man.
The ex and I split up, I’m now remarried to a good woman.
I caught a felony, 4 years of probation and learned a lot of hard lessons.
Rarely does a day go by that I don’t think about it though.
Image source: MyDamnThrowAwayAccou, amir riazipour / unsplash (not the actual photo)
#17
So, when I met my current wife (of four and a half years), she was engaged to someone else. At the time, I thought she was off-limits, and maybe that made her more enticing. I don’t know. Well, we got to know each other pretty well, and I found out that her fiancee was a real [jerk], who didn’t appreciate her, and got drunk every night. Oh, and he had taken a job in another city (after getting her to move to the city WE were in just a year before) leaving her high and dry. There were no wedding plans – just a ring and a promise. When she stopped wearing the ring, I took it as a sign, and made my move. I hope she is happy – I work on that every day. However, he must have been miserable. I don’t know if he ever met anyone else, but I hope he treated her better, if he did. I like to think I ruined his life, but I made hers better.
Image source: Wargrog, mark2eko / freepik (not the actual photo)
#18
I broke off our engagment a few weeks before the wedding, when it was obvious we would never be happy, she was always mad at me for something or another. She was a few years older at the time and I was her second Fiance. She’s still single and given her age, she’s gonna be able to have any biological children soon. I felt guilty for a while, but I knew it was the right thing for us both. She sent me this letter a while later talking about how I ruined her life, wasted her time, etc. I guess I destroyed her life, by thinking of my own future, needs, etc.
Image source: anon, Dima Kapralov / unsplash (not the actual photo)
#19
Got her pregnant in high school. To be fair ruined mine too.
Image source: southseas111, Getty Images / unsplash (not the actual photo)
#20
I was a complete [jerk] to my younger brother growing up. Never physically a*****e, but always making sure that everyone knew that I was the best. Numero uno.
He pooped his pants until pretty late in life, which I was relentless about as a 10 year old (he was 6). I like to think that it didn’t last too long into my adolescence… but I honestly don’t remember. I think he really looked up to me and so when I made him feel stupid, he believed it.
Fast forward and I have now gotten my PhD from Harvard, and am a reasonably successful scientist. My brother has struggled for his entire adult life. He was kicked out of college after 2 semesters, became a born-again christian, married an absolutely awful woman that treats him like dirt (wonder where he learned to like that?), and hasn’t held down a decent job in a looong time. My mother and welfare have supported him, his wife, and his two children now into his 30s.
He’s back at college, but I don’t know if he has any self confidence at all. He’s doing better this time, but I can see it in his face sometimes that he hates himself. I know that I am not the only factor, however, as a scientist, I cannot dismiss or explain away the enormous role I played in demolishing his self worth at an early age.
If I ever have children, our family will only be allowed to compete against other families or groups. Within the family we will play cooperative games. I turned around in how I treated him before I could drive and have spent the 20 years since trying to help him get himself together, but it’s easier to get the toothpaste out of the tube than to get it back in.
Image source: badbrother9, Hunter Hares / unsplash (not the actual photo)
#21
After being abroad for a couple of years, I came back to my town and ran into a girl I once knew, and had previously dated one of my friends. We were getting pretty drunk, and it was winter in MN, so she came back to my place, which was very close to the bar. Middle of the night she comes into my room from the couch, and we proceed to do it to each other. I found out a couple of weeks later that while I’d been gone, she and my friend had gotten married, and after cheating with me, she told him she wanted a divorce.
I know it sounds like it was his life I ruined, but it was actually hers. Apparently, she had been planning to move out for a while, and was intending to share a room with an ex of mine who had never really gotten over me leaving the country for 2 years. When my ex found out that my friend’s wife had cheated with me, my ex told her to [get lost], leaving the girl nowhere else to go. She came to me, asking to stay, but I told her no (I wasn’t fully aware of the situation at the time) and sent her on her way. She ended up being forced to move back in with her parents at 27 in a different state. I was never really into her, but I still feel bad about [messing] up 3 people’s emotional states within 2 weeks of moving back. I’ve since left the country again, and am afraid to show my face around my hometown.
Image source: Gumshooo, Getty Images / unsplash (not the actual photo)
#22
I got a friend hooked on World of Warcraft.
Normally that’s not an awful life-ruining thing, but as it turns out, he has an extremely addictive personality. Before he started playing, he was in college making good grades, had a girlfriend, did a variety of things besides gaming, and so on. However, I convinced a group of us to start playing WoW when it came out 9ish years ago. That group played together for about 6 months on a regular basis, before we mostly went out separate ways.
However, he’s now the poster child that people use to demonstrate the effects of “internet a*******n” and similar things (and he’s well aware of that fact. He jokes about it). Broke up with his girlfriend, and as far as I’m aware, hasn’t had one since. He dropped out of school a year before finishing his degree. He’s over 30 and still lives with his parents. He’s gained probably 150 lbs since then… and to this day, he still plays the game for most of his day.
I still play the game too, so I’m still friends with him. I play a lot more casually, so we run with different crowds in game, but I still have him on my friends list so I still talk to him from time to time.
Given the popularity of the game, he probably would have started on his own sooner or later. I mean, how many people that would call themselves “gamers” *haven’t* played it at this point? But I still wonder… if he hadn’t started playing with a group of friends for the first 6 months or so.
Image source: fredemu, Brock Wegner / unsplash (not the actual photo)
#23
Bad break up. She told me she would say I hit her and forced myself on her. I took the messages to the police and filed everything I could against her. We aren’t even out of high school and she already has 4 felonies because of me. Was it justified? You bet it was. Do I feel bad? You bet I do.
Edit: Felonies or misdemeanors. I know she has some felonies, I probably got confused with them. It happened a few years ago and I really don’t want to remember.
Edit 2: She was 14 and I was 15. She knew what she was doing and it isn’t uncommon for some kids that age to have felonies or misdemeanors.
Image source: anon, Vitaly Gariev / unsplash (not the actual photo)
#24
The only person’s life I’ve ever destroyed is my own.
Image source: kchampizzle, Josué Sánchez / unsplash (not the actual photo)
#25
My mum got pregnant at 15. She had me two months after her 16th birthday. She tried college and the teachers even allowed her to bring me into the common area (her friend watched me while she was in class) but she didn’t last longer than the first term.
She was attractive, sociable, intelligent, had aspirations. Her childhood was terrible and i’m sure she dreamed of escaping it. Instead she got stuck in the same small town with her own kid.
I didn’t exactly ruin her life but i’m the result of her life being ruined. Im 27 now and shes 43. Shes doing ok but money isn’t great. Although she loves me i cant imagine the ways she feels about it all sometimes.
Image source: compleo, Jose Losada / unsplash (not the actual photo)
#26
I really didn’t like a roommate of mine in college. He was about to graduate and basically faked and used people to get through school for 4 years. A company gave him a coding project to prove his worth. He paid me $20 to do it, while I knew full well he had no idea how to program. He got the job because the project was done well and got fired after 4 days. He moved across the country for the job.
Image source: ThePhuture, Vitaly Gariev / unsplash (not the actual photo)
#27
I wouldn’t say I *ruined* her life, but I sure as hell didn’t make it easy, and she’s still struggling a bit.
My first ever relationship ended with very little drama after a year and a half. She said she didn’t want to be in a relationship anymore, she needed some time to herself, she was still young, and so on. She had been struggling with some personal issues for a while, and needed some time to herself. Of course I said she should do what felt right, and I told her that I was there for her if she needed me. We then promised to remain friends.
We did remain friends, but I got a bit (very) depressed over the next few months, and ended up dropping out of school for a year. Not going to school, and not going out in the weekends, of course resulted in me seeing very little of that girl, and any of my other friends for that matter. In my mind, this was of course her fault, and I made sure to tell her that. This, strangely, did not make her come over to my house to see me, and so I did the only rational thing to me at the time, blamed her for all of my problems, said I was thinking of [taking my life], and that the only thing that could possibly stop me was if I could just see her again. So much for her getting some time to herself.
This went on for a year. It went on for a year, and I just got worse. Calling her useless, ruining her self esteem, just in general doing anything I could to try to break her. It reached the point where if we walked past each other in the street she would begin crying and running away.
8 months ago I stopped this. I was tired of her, and certain that the reason I felt so mad all the time was because she never answered my messages, of which I sent plenty. If I never saw her again, I would be so happy.
Over the next 6 or so months I realized what an idiot I was, and two months ago I hand wrote a 4 page letter, apologizing profusely, and trying to make everything right. Telling her she wasn’t useless, making sure it was clear that I regretted my actions, and wanted to take them all back.
She accepted my apology. By no right in hell do I ever deserve her forgiveness, but I got it. I actually ran into her at a party a few weeks ago. I was there with my current girlfriend, and she was there with her new boyfriend, whom I hope is a better person than I am. We had a few drinks and enjoyed herself. She mentioned she was still struggling with some issues. I have never been so genuinely sorry about something in my entire life. I hope she turns out great in the end, and I will make sure I never become such a tragic, sad, demented excuse for a man ever again.
**I am so, so, sorry.**.
Image source: 3500280611, Pablo Merchán Montes / unsplash (not the actual photo)
#28
Not proud of it but I was the reason an ex lost her well paying job her degree helped her get. I had a girl I had need dating for 10 months and starting to get comfortable with confess that she had slept with two other guys while we were dating. I broke it off right then and there, but deep inside it hurt pretty bad because I wasn’t ready to part ways. She starts dating one of the guys she cheated on me with which infuriated me to the max.
The office she worked at had a strict zero tolerance [illegal substances] policy. The guy she was now dating was a known pot dealer so I figured she was smoking with him since we had before. I got the balls to call her work two months after we broke up and made an anonymous “tip” by telling her supervisor I witnessed her smoking pot the night before and that I felt someone with her position shouldn’t be dabbling in such activities. They wound up giving a surprise employee [illegal substances] test that Friday, and she was terminated the following week.
Image source: hardshell1919, Kateryna Hliznitsova / unsplash (not the actual photo)
#29
Got divorced.
When we split up we had two cars. I had a Chevy Cobalt, and her a brand new Saturn Vue. I told her to take the Cobalt, and that’d I take the Vue, because the payments were hugely different.
She was being a huge [jerk] and said she wanted the newest vehicle just because. After a few back and forth arguments, I let it slide, and she took the Vue.
Fast forward a couple years. She has moved back to her parent’s home state and is living there. They are helping support her. She has a child by another man and is pregnant by someone else, because the first guy is in prison.
The bank who has the loan on the Vue starts calling and telling me they are going to tow the thing like TODAY because they haven’t gotten a payment on the vehicle in MONTHS, and that they will destroy my credit rating.
I call the ex and ask what’s going on… she says “I’m a single mom and you wouldn’t understand. I work at Walmart and can’t afford this car, but I need transportation because of my kids.”
So I call the bank back and pay off the overdue debt (4K out of pocket), and get the loan modified to send the payment notifications to my address instead of hers. We both signed on the loan, so I was screwed if she didn’t pay and the car got repo’d.
All that is done, the back loans are paid off, and she keeps calling me. I can’t have kids due to some birth defects I have, so this situation is rare for me.
I tell her I live in a small town now, she has kids, the father is in prison, etc, so this presents a great opportunity for us to start fresh. Me not being able to have kids was a big reason we split up in the first place, so this is a great opportunity…
So I’m telling her I’m interested in getting back together with her, interested in having a family (even though the children aren’t mine, etc), and looking for a way to fix everything we’ve been through.
She’s all about it. She’s excited. So I arrange a time for me to fly out to meet her and see her and find out how things are from there.
I fly out to her city. She meets me at the airport with her baby girl and my Vue… and we then go back to her place. She cooks me dinner, we watch a movie, then we proceed to [sleep together] numerous times. On her couch, her stairs, in bed, etc.
Once she fell asleep, I took the car keys off the end table next to the bed, jumped in the Vue, and drove back to Nebraska. It was like a 20 hour drive, but I had a grin on my face the whole time.
Two weeks later I traded both the Cobalt and the Vue in on a new car in only my name, so she is no longer in my life.
I have not talked to her since.
Image source: dchurch0
#30
We used to tease this kid on the way home from school everyday for some reason. At the time my father was TDY and our aunt came to stay with us to help out. His father used to regularly stop by the house to chat up my aunt. I was only 9 at the time and thought nothing of it. I made a remark to the kid that his father was always at our house cause he didn’t like him. Of course kid goes crying off and we laugh gleefully. Fast forward to three in the morning, my mother woke me up furiously asking what I told that boy. Turns out he and my Aunt were having an affair and it all came to light when I ran my mouth. Divorces, custody battles and and military discipline ensued. I still feel [awful] to this day…
Image source: hunchpunch1
#31
My friends and I made it public that a friend of our was bragging about supposedly carrying on a relationship with the fiancé of another friend deployed in the Army. I knew all three of them and that she wasn’t doing anything with him. But not everyone he told knew that.
Image source: The_Conkerer
#32
Okay. I know I’m gonna get downvoted to hell for this because I handled it so poorly, but I learned, so… yeah. There’s that.
When I was in college, one year I took a Radio class. The first day, I notice this kid who’s a year younger than me, because he’s wearing this T-shirt. I’d always wanted one, so I told him I liked the shirt. Mistake number one. He clearly thought this meant I was interested, though in my naivety I thought he was just being friendly. He sits next to me in class, we chat, he seems like a nice kid. After class we’re walking to our respective dorms, and I ask which building he lives in, because they’re at opposite ends of the campus. Surprise, we live in the same building! He tells me his floor, I tell him mine (again, just making friendly conversation). Mistake number two.
That night, he IMs me. I ask how he got my AIM screen name. Apparently a girl I was Facebook friends with happened to live on his floor. He went to her and she gave him my aim screen name and room number. LOVELY. Now I’m starting to get the hint.
He tells me he’s coming up to see me, and before I know it he’s there, sitting on my bed. I sat at my desk while my roommate and her boyfriend awkwardly do their own thing. Eventually they get up to leave, despite my desperate “please don’t leave me” looks. He starts trying to flirt with me, and I was no good in these situations so I stammer out something about having to take a shower. He asks if I want him to wait for me in my room. Um… nnnnno.
For the next few weeks I’m dealing with him following me around like a lost puppy – coming to my room all the time, bothering me online at all hours, etc. He won’t actually make a move, which prevents me from being able to turn him down bluntly (I’ve been in this situation before). Eventually my former RA catches wind of this, and how stressed out I am about it. He goes behind my back and confronts the kid. I have no idea what was said. All I know is, this kid will no longer even LOOK at me. He drops out of the class, avoids eye contact, walks the other way if he sees me, etc. I felt really bad, but at the same time it was a relief, so I thought nothing more of it.
I learned two years later that he’d spiraled into a horrible depression after that. He still kept tabs on me, but interpreted my every action and inaction as being motivated by my “disgust” for him. Example: a local band I liked was coming to our campus, and I was really excited to go. I had no idea this kid was going, or knew I was going. That weekend I caught a NASTY cold – the kind where you get dizzy just standing up, where all you want to do is sleep and your body won’t let you. So I stayed in. This kid interpreted it as me refusing to go because I knew he would be there.
Anyway, he ended up gaining a ton of weight, sneaking booze into the dorms all the time, and eventually dropped out. I don’t know what happened to him after that. I feel horribly because, while I wasn’t the one who confronted/scared him, I was the one who SHOULD have confronted and gently discouraged him. Back then I naively thought that hinting would do the trick. I think everyone in this story was wrong.
Image source: anon
#33
I got chatting to an ex last year through Facebook. Basically, she friended me, always initiated conversations, but I always responded. While we were seeing eachother, she was very manipulative in more ways than anyone needs to hear. Though our relationship wasn’t exactly serious, it wasn’t far off. This was all years ago, I suppose I’m still a little resentful, but she was a [jerk] and more.
Anyway, in the meantime she got with a guy and had a kid with him (A kid she often ran her mouth about, basically because he’s a boy, when she wanted a girl). We’d been talking a lot, lot’s of flirting and that and she told me on several occasions how she regretted not getting serious with, because I’d have “made a better dad” and how whoop-dee-doo I am. She was unhappy with her fella and wanted to leave, half of her conversations were how much of a [jerk] he is. I have no reason other than criticism from someone I know is a [jerk], so I doubt he’s nearly as bad as she made out.
Every time she whinged about him, I’d side with her and agree that leaving him would be best. A few times she commented that she’d like to “give it a go” with me. I never gave her any solid reason to believe that I might be interested in that too, but through a friend I helped her find a house and she moved out. Apparently there were a lot of fireworks when she left. The weekend after she left, she invited me to come stay for the weekend. I made excuses, I was genuinely busy that weekend.
In the year we’d been chit-chatting, not once did this self-centred cow think to ask if I was in a relationship – I’m married, VERY happily – My wife knew all about my history with this ex, she knows all about our flirty conversations, she doesn’t mind, not really that bothered (She’d have my balls if I ever did more than that, but there’s no way I would so my balls are safe). I’d often show my wife the messages, to show how much of a self-centred cow she was. However, a few times she suggested I visit her at her house, never “go for a drink” or anything like that and I avoided the invitation by just not acknowledging it.
A few months ago, it went down, she dropped me a message that she was shopping at this particular place and was at a coffee shop, I read it on my phone, because I also happened to be in exactly the same place too, miles from where either of us live – with my wife and daughter. I told my wife that “So-and-so” is here too. My wife was a little keen to meet her, so I looked around and there she was, over the other side of the coffee shop, she caught my eye and rushed over. As I introduced my wife *and my daughter*, she turned red, tripped over her words a bit and said “Nice seeing you”, then darted back to her table grabbed her son, dragging him out of the shop (poor little lad), clearly furious.
I got a torrent of messages about how much of a lying [jerk] I am, that she wouldn’t have left her ex if she knew there was no chance with me. Granted, I lied by omission, but I don’t feel bad for not dispelling whatever illusions she’d concocted. Oh, and “what hurt most, you have a daughter. You knew I always wanted a daughter”.
My brother is mates with her ex. Apparently she came “crawling back to him, begging him to let her move back in” and he told her to [get lost]. So, in some ways, some good came out of it. Let’s just hope he gets custody, before she [ruins] that little boys life up.
**TL:DR** – An ex left her baby’s daddy, with some hope that she might get together with me. I lied by omission that I was available and spoiled her day, when she found out I was a married father.
Image source: anon
#34
There’s a professor in his late ‘50s who basically made his living by being political, and especially anti-Israel. Militantly so, he once said that Israel is a “state spawned from hell” and that the Arabs should destroy it. He’s always had a caustic personality, there’s a famous video of him on Youtube where he makes a girl cry for disagreeing with him. So his fellow pro-Palestinian and anti-Israel people loved him, even while his [jerk] nature got him fired from a university where he worked.
So last year he was interviewed by a student and asked about this group of pro-Palestinian activists. To the student’s surprise, he basically went off on them and ranted for 30 minutes about how they were doing the wrong thing and basically had their heads up their own asses. He called them a cult who cared more about themselves then about the Palestinian cause, who were too dishonest to come out and say what they wanted, which was to destroy Israel.
The student uploaded it onto Youtube, but then took it down within a couple of hours when he realized that it could cause a lot of damage not only to the professor himself but to the pro-Palestinian group he was complaining about. Unfortunately for them, I downloaded it first and immediately put it back up.
The video gathered around 24,000 views despite their attempts to remove it, and basically the pro-Palestinian forces around the country blacklisted this professor. I saw an interview with him where he said he went from seventy-five speaking engagements at various colleges around the country to zero. So having pissed off both the pro-Israel and anti-Israel forces of the world, he’s pretty much up the creek without a paddle.
TL:DR a [jerk] academic ruined his life, and I helped.
Image source: throwprof
#35
There was a girl me and my circle of friends used to bully in high school. We used to be friends but she did something to p**s us off and we turned a majority of the school against her. People would throw things at her, say mean things to her face, etc. It was really cruel, and for two years she came to school looking seriously sad and depressed.
I apologized to her when I first came to college. At the time I think I relished in the power of being able to turn a whole school against someone. Even though I genuinely apologized to her years later and she forgave me, I’m still waiting for karma to come back around. I saw her last summer for the first time in a while. She still looks like she’s a really sad and lonely person. Definitely not as happy as she looked when I first met her and she was relatively happy.
TL;DR I was a [jerk] in high school and got everyone to destroy this girl’s self esteem for no reason, it’s one of two things I would go back in time to change.
Image source: CountRatchula
#36
TL;DR: had my friends stepmom relapse, making them cancel a trip to china, along with losing her license and a lot of other problems
Back in high school I was at a friends house drinking when we ran out of alcohol. We went inside and asked his step mom to get us alcohol which she was more than happy to do (she really wanted my friend to like her). We all walked over to the liquor store and she got us some alcohol. When we got back we played beer pong and she watched and then asked to try, and we let her. She played with water then started to drink.
We ran out of alcohol shortly and she wanted to go get more. We did. On our walk back we see his dad driving around and we knew he was looking for us. We ran back in and his dad came back and told us to stay in the garage. We heard them fighting and decided to go in the hot tub and forget about it.
An hour later she opens her bedroom window and breaks the screen crawling out she runs over searching for the alcohol and screaming that she needs it. My friends dad runs out looking for her and brings her back in. It turn out she was a recovering alcoholic/d**g user. (Never would have assumed it because my friends dad was quite wealthy and she was an attractive young lady who seemed like she wouldn’t have those problems)
Turns out she started drinking again and caused her and her husband to have to cancel their two week trip to China they were going on the next week.
After this there were multiple times the cops had to be called and fighting happened frequently.
Image source: ralph122030
#37
I put up a ropeswing at a lake about 10 years ago. A teenager passed away on it and they took the tree down.
Image source: greenRiverThriller
#38
I cheated on a past girlfriend, felt [awful] for doing it and broke up with her without really telling her why (because I didn’t want her to know I cheated)…she immediately rebounded with a guy and got pregnant. He was a horrible guy, and I know she resents him and their baby…
I’m a lesbian, and when I broke up with her without a reasonable cause, she thought she wasn’t pretty enough for me, or something…so she slept with the first guy who gave her any attention…
Image source: Hunhund, Navid Sohrabi / unsplash (not the actual photo)
#39
I invited my first girlfriend to a metal show and on the way back we got into a car wreck. I have never forgiven myself.
Image source: JerkasaurousRexx
#40
He attacked me with an ice pick, I beat him until he quit moving. He ended up in the hospital with brain damage. The screwed up thing, is that I destroyed his pre-adult life. As an adult, he’s no longer a delinquent and he’s good to people. He’s happy and has a family, but he’s much less intelligent than he was.
Image source: anon
#41
In highschool a guy punched me in the face. It didn’t hurt much, guess he wasn’t very strong. Instead of hitting him back I told a teacher. He got suspended for a week, I got a pat on the back. The guy missed a week of exams (not sure how they let this happen), failed his classes, his parents kicked him out of the house, and he had to move to a different city to live with his grandparents. I think he gained like 100 lbs after that too. Poor guy, I probably deserved that punch back then.
Image source: justrelax2
#42
When I was a young teenager I completely rebelled against my mother. Racked up my phone bill to $500+ nearly every month and she had to pay it, drank drove and she had to pay my lawyer fees ($2000). I moved out of home at 15 and lost my job a month later, I couldn’t move out of my new house for reasons so mum was transferring me $200 weekly to pay for my rent and living expenses. Many more things and the debt my mother was in just kept piling up until it was thousands and thousands of dollars, she became depressed over it. Because of me. It [pained] me so I pulled my head right. Everything worked out in the end, her and my father ended up putting all their debts into one loan and bought an investment property which my husband, my daughter and I are renting off them to pay back their loan. They’re in a great place financially now but I will never stop feeling terrible about what I put them through. I guess I was just a little immature brat, I hate who I was as a teenager, but I’m glad I grew up and realised what I was doing to them. So much remorse :(.
Image source: raising_evie
#43
I thought I loved this gentleman once. I was young an naive and I wanted to feel loved. And he really loved me. However, after a few months, I realized I didn’t love him at all. I realized that even as a friend, he sort of annoyed me. I tried but I couldn’t feel it again. The more I learned about him, the more uncomfortable I was. The longer I waited, the more he talked about our future. He was already talking about our future children. He had moved into my mothers house, I got laid off, he went on tour with his band, and I just needed to change. I felt uncomfortable with our life together. So, I broke up with him. He was so hurt that I had to be brutally honest. He wouldn’t listen when I told him no. Eventually, I had to be forceful. I feel that I used his emotions selfishly. On a good note, he finally got on his feet and met a great girl.
Image source: Miltonpepples
#44
Well I called the cops on my fighting neighbors last night and she came to my door crying about an hour ago. Her husband just got back from Afghanistan a week ago and already decided he wants a divorce. The cops just reaffirmed his decision.
Image source: suga_lumps
#45
Constant criticism and lack of affection.
it doesn’t matter how strong you are, it eventually gets to you.
Image source: day_break
#46
Not me – but happened to two people I know – lets call them John and Jane. John was a real [jerk] (didn’t know exactly how douchey until this incident) and started dating Jane when she was 14 and he was in his mid-20’s (I know, gross). Anyway, they had a very long (on and off), dysfunctional relationship for years. He was always in her life whether they were dating or not and was just horribly controlling and generally awful. That is the background of the relationship.
So one day, John decided to go to law school. Despite being a total jackbag, he was a really smart guy. Got himself through law school and passed the bar on the first try. Just like most sociopaths, John was very well-known and liked by his peers, had no criminal record, etc.
Anyway, after years, John finally pushed Jane over the edge. She found out he was cheating on her with some new 14-15 year old girls. I guess I should mention that he was in his mid-30’s by this time. So Jane took this information to the bar council and filed a complaint against him. When there is a complaint filed against an applicant in this jurisdiction, the applicant does not know the specifics unless enough evidence is found to confirm its legitimacy and a hearing is held. So basically he knew that he passed the bar exam but his character evaluation was being investigated. He didn’t know why or who made the complaint.
Eventually, enough evidence was gathered to make a case against his admission to the bar. That was when he found out it was Jane who went to bar council and what she told them. They had a hearing where the other girls who were involved testified and confirmed the accusations. John was permanently denied admission to the bar in that jurisdiction (and it would likely be difficult to get licensed in another jurisdiction).
Normally i’m not a fan of public shaming or life ruining, but in this case, I do feel like justice was served. John wasted a lot of time and money trying to become a lawyer and now he never can. But he deserved what he got.
**tl;dr:** girl causes ex to buy a very expensive piece of paper
Image source: alaskanfarmer
#47
Advised someone to go to law school.
Image source: Havins
#48
I introduced one of my friends to pot when we were 13. I stopped but he became a pot hungry stoner and from what i see on facebook now almost 10 years later its still just been going down hill. I always wonder if he would have maybe actually done something productive or something. I think about it a lot actually.
Image source: DankeyKong
#49
When I was younger I worked as a youth counselor at a scout camp, what we found out resulted in child services being called on the kids parents … And I think what he said may have been lies.
So me and some of my friends all worked at a Cub Scout camp when we were younger, it was an easy way to make a little cash before we could actually get a true job. There was one mom who ran a “pack” for the camp and would bring her two older sons to hang out since they didn’t want to stay home. They didn’t work the camp but would hang out an help us with some small stuff. On occasion they’d try extra hard to be cool and get attention, but nothing too weird.
They had made comments about their dad being a [jerk] and being mean and demanding through the first week, but that’s kid stuff. Nobody gets along with their parents. Then we started noticing some weird stuff, they always wore pants even though it would be in the 90s. They always seemed to be complaining of some pain etc. then one day one of the kids tells my friend that his father beats them. With enough details that the picture came complete.
Long story short we told the adults, they told their bosses and the decision to make the call was made. Kid was furious, turns out his mom works with kids for a living, yadayadayada. He started talking to us through AIM and after comparing conversations with the others it gave us enough to put the pieces together. Mom lost her job, child services found nothing wrong, he hate us all even though he never knew it was us.
I still think we did the right thing. And I’d make the same decision to inform someone if it came our way. But man, this kid’s lies(maybe) forced us into the situation. It wasn’t easy, I didn’t sleep the night before escalating it. We all knew the weight on out shoulders…. I’ll never forget it.
Image source: anon
#50
This is one of my only regrets in my short life full of highly questionable decisions.
In High school, I was kind of a guy who everyone liked. I played three varsity sports, so I was cool with the popular jocky kids, but at heart I was a huge nerd who’s closest friends hated sports, did well in school, and would rather get high and discuss politics than go be a social butterfly. One kid, who I’m going to call Oliver, was a really shy, reserved, anxious, person. He was on pretty much every anti anxiety med you could think of. He really liked me though, and I liked him. He was the most artsy, creative, and smart person I knew. He also loved rap/ hip hop. He got me into so much music I couldn’t even explain. We even went to a few shows that he would puke all the way to because he was so nervous.
Oliver really wanted to be more social, and he would often ask me advice on how to be more friendly. He even said he looked up to me, which was flattering. So I would always bring him along with me when I hung out with the “cool crowd”. I even managed to set him up with a few pretty good looking girls. He started to really come in to his own and it made me happy to see him overcome all his obstacles.
Fast forward to senior year, and we are all going on a school trip across the world. I was talking to him for about a month before not to let his anxiety get the best of him when he gets to airport and get scared to get on the plane. Going through security we get separated but I’m confident he’s got this. I get on the plane and a teacher told me he didn’t get on the plane. I was really pissed off cause I spent so much time with him about this issue.
He ends up getting on a different plane and meets us a week later, but I’m still pissed for some [dumb] reason. I ended up being a huge [jerk] to him the rest of trip. Mostly passive aggressive.
One night though I was sitting in the room of the place we were staying at it with him and two other roommates. Me and Oliver get in a heated argument about politics, and he gets pissed off and punches me right in the face. That was the nail in the coffin for me.
I immediately jumped up, grabbed his neck, and pinned him down with one hand, giving him Andre Johnson haymakers with the other. When we were finally separated, I didn’t talk to him the rest of the trip. He tried apologizing to me, even crying saying I was his only friend, but stupid high school me didn’t forgive him.
We never spoke again and I found out that when we went away to college he tried to [end his life] twice. I found out that he is now in some mental institution/ rehab center in Houston. Hearing that he regressed so much, I couldn’t help but feel like me and my stupid stubbornness caused all of it. If I had forgiven him, apologized myself for being a [jerk], and moved on, everyone would be okay.
Image source: TheGreenBackPack, Panos Sakalakis / unsplash (not the actual photo)
#51
This kid in college liked my girlfriend (now my wife) after I started dating her. He tried everything to break us up, even after we all graduated, and then I destroyed his life when I married my girlfriend.
Image source: anon
#52
Had a friend get roughed up by her boyfriend, she came in my house one night with a broke nose, black eye, her arm so bruised she couldn’t lift it…I went and found him in a bar, beat him and 3 guys with him with various objects, got tossed out of the bar with them, tied him up to a tree in front of the police captains house with a note stapled to his head….turns out he had warrants. He got locked up, still in jail as far as I know.
Image source: GonzoMojo
#53
I convinced my now ex-wife to follow me out to Kansas and move away from her family, which in retrospect I now realize was a mistake.
It sounded like a good idea at the time, though.
Image source: seek3r_red
#54
I drink a [lot] and alienate everyone around me. So I guess I ruined my own. I don’t really care either.
Image source: anon
#55
I put some bacon in a “vegetable soup” and served it to a Muslim that annoyed me.
Image source: rbbrduckmn
#56
I down voted someone once. I don’t think they ever recovered…
Image source: Crayzinz
#57
I promised her everything, she changed her life to be with me. Then she grew to be paranoid of everything I said/did. Now she has nothing.
Image source: anon
#58
In high school it had a math teacher who got asked to describe me in one word in class, he said ‘failure’. I immediately announced that I hoped you got lupus…..2 years later; he’s diagnosed with a neuron disease closely related to lupus.
Image source: DinkMeekerjeesh
#59
In high school I was a bit of a bully, regret it now but what’s done is done. There was an entire lunch table of kids who were just awful looking. We had given them nicknames such as Shark Attack, Scruffy, Snuffleupagus, The Blob, and my personal favorite Duece McGoose (he had two bookbags instead of just using his locker!).
Anyway I used to verbally [harrass] these kids (again I feel terrible now). As it stands I am already upset when I think about it.
Image source: yourbestfwend
#60
Lead someone on. Lie to them. And then completely crush their emotions by going to someone else. Oh wait. That’s what happened to me.
Image source: darkra01
#61
I was born.
My parents were teens and stuff, so you could say that they did it, but if I wasn’t such a winner, I never would have gotten to the egg.
Image source: anon
#62
I introduced my friend to reddit during exam week…his studying didn’t go so well.
Image source: creeal0
#63
Pretty much destroyed an ex’s life for a good few years, didn’t mean to.
Dated a girl, she was my first girlfriend, first kiss, etc. We ended up breaking up because her parents forced her to break up with me, they would beat her. We stayed best friends for the next year and a half but it was always tense because we knew we really like each other. She dated other guys but I still always waited for her. She would drag me alone keeping me on the hook, saying she loved me then give all kinds of reasons for being with other guys. this went on for a good while and made me feel horrible. She would get hyper-possessive of me, she treated me like her boyfriend though I wasn’t. Eventually I got myself together and told her that I needed to be away from her cuz she was making me depressed.
She had a massive panic attack, freaked out and had repetitive panic attacks. She would sob all day in a corner in school, nothing anyone could do about it. Went on for like a month like that, then she got super vengeful and hateful and did everything she could to make me look like a [jerk] for not wanting to be dragged around. Most of my highschool to this day thinks I ditched her cuz she wouldn’t [sleep] with me, which had never once even crossed my mind. She still thinks she’s right and most people agree with her.
tl;dr Me like girl. Girl like me. Parents say no. Ultimate relationship drag-along. Break it off. Epic emotional collapse and rumors for next few years.
Image source: Trying_to_join_in
#64
Someone stole credit for my work, made me look like a fraud when i went to claim it. the professor didnt believe me when it was obvious. i got bullied hard by the morons that stole my work. no one did anything.
i didnt destroy a persons life but they def destroyed my college life and medical school chances.
Image source: long_nites
#65
I worked at a youth camp during a summer many years ago. I dared one of the girls to show her chest to one of the preteens who kept bugging us for $50. She did but was caught by a supervisor and was fired. This was also an internship and her parents found out.
Image source: jenn_the_great
#66
This girl that I used to be really good friends with lived with my family and I for about a year so that we could go to school together near my house. Her parents were really good friends with my parents. She eventually stopped going to school and was hanging out with a pretty rough crowd. I told her I didn’t think she should stay with us any longer. A few months later I found out she had been stealing money from my parents and took my school books and sold them. She also stole my dad’s wedding ring (it was too small and he left it in my parents room to eventually get it sized). She continues to get her mail delivered to my house, and there was an unmarked envelope addressed to her. I got nosey and was getting tired of seeing mail for her multiple times a week. It was her test results for chlamydia, positive. I put the paper in a new envelope and sent it to her dad. I’m not sure if it ruined her life, but I thought it was relevant.
tl;dr friend lived with me, was a huge [jerk], she had her positive chlamydia test sent to my house and I sent it to her dad.
Image source: itssophie_bitch
#67
Work in progress. My best friend cheated with my first proper girlfriend, knowing I’m autistic and that was almost a once-in-a-lifetime situation. Found out 3 months later when it turned out almost all my friends knew and didn’t tell me.
This is gonna be fun.
Image source: anon
#68
Not my story, but rather my friend.
He became my roommate his sophomore year of college but left behind his old dorm mate, Bruce. Bruce ended up getting a place far from campus where he had to drive to class and my buddy rarely saw him.
One day he has this extravagant plan to get wasted with Bruce. My friend convinces him to drive after they are well off and he gets a DWI, while my friend was ordered to walk away by the cops. To make matters worse, Bruce was underage and then had to walk 40 minutes to class because he couldn’t drive.
Image source: bigsausagepizzasven
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