Desperate Housewives 7.11 “Assassins” Review

Well, that was a twist. Sort of.

After a short hiatus, Desperate Housewives returned to answer the question left on the minds of fans after the conclusion of the last episode before the winter break: Who Shot Paul Young?

Did we find out who it was? Nope. Although, we were thrown a lot of red herrings and the semi-twist mentioned at the start of this review. Meanwhile, the five main ladies dealt with their own issues this week as Things of Old returned and bit each woman in the behind with the fervor of a rabid dog.

Red Herrings, Red Herrings Everywhere…

As mentioned above, Paul Young’s shooter was hinted at but eventually ended up being several red herrings by the end of the night with no culprit (savior?) in sight. At first glance, you thought it was Beth, who went to visit Felicia, thinking it was her behind the job. Felicia played dumb, but called her source on the street, who revealed themselves to be Mike Delfino. For the rest of the hour, it looked as if Mike was the man who pulled the trigger – but he wasn’t. So, we are still left without an answer to who shot Paul Young, but that could be a good thing. The ‘Who Shot J.R.?’ mystery of Dallas wasn’t immediately solved right away, playing for several weeks until the perp was revealed. Maybe DH will do the same thing, but to do so they must be pretty crafty with it and not turn it into a bore.

Meanwhile, the two latest unlucky detectives assigned to Paul’s case have a lot on their hands. After realizing that all of the neighbors on the lane have a motive (in a pretty well-structured montage scene), the two detectives pick up on Beth’s quirkiness when asked if she knew about anyone with ill intent to harm Paul. After some digging into Beth’s past (which wasn’t hidden well), Paul is informed of the connection between Beth and Felicia Tillman. With this revelation out in the open, one must wonder which will be put into motion first: the reveal of Paul’s shooter or Paul’s attempt to kill off Beth?

Everything’s Out in the Open

Lynette finally learned of Tom and Renee’s fling, while we found out it took place while Lynette went out of town to visit her mother all those years ago. Turns out that Renee was pretty much rebound sex after Tom and Lynette called it quits for a brief period during their engagement period. As if that made it okay. The more shocking aspect out of the entire debacle is how Lynette took the news. Despite an epic brawl in the restaurant with Renee, Lynette took the quiet but deadly approach, asking Renee not to reveal to Tom that she knows. Here’s hoping that Lynette does more than burn Tom’s tongue a few times to get him to talk.

Madness Ascends

Gaby is being beaten up from all cylinders this year to the point that it’s getting close to calling it blatant abuse. Juanita is traumatized and that is understandable, but Gaby is also a victim as well, which is something Carlos seriously needs to get in his thickly moussed head. As for just casting off Grace as if she never existed, that’s something you can’t just do overnight. That’s your flesh and blood. Your seed. While that fact doesn’t mean Grace holds more water than Juanita does, it still means that Grace is family. Nobody asked for the storm that landed on their front porch, but they got to deal with it instead of sweeping it in the closet of ever-growing secrets. Because with all unhealthy secrets, they fester and becoming something even more monstrous than the seed that created it. In this case it is Gaby’s apparent, but slow, descent into madness as she purchases a doll to remind her of Grace. Be afraid. Be very afraid, people.

Sickness Strikes Another Housewife

Susan’s trampling from the riot has left her without a perfectly, good kidney. The other kidney is deformed and not healthy, which means Susan will have to go on dialysis. After a scary collapsing scene, Susan accepted her new treatment after contemplating going the alternative root with herbal treatment. It will be pretty interesting to see how this storyline goes, especially with Paul Young pretty much down the hall from Susan’s room.

The “Third and/or Fourth Wheel”

While the other ladies didn’t get any closure in storylines this week, Bree managed to get a happy ending despite the reappearance of Orson, who seemed pretty hellbent on winning Bree back. Despite Orson’s lying and jabs at Keith’s demeanor and personality, Bree still stuck by her new young guy and even got muddy to prove her point. While this is all fine and dandy, it doesn’t seems like Orson will lose that easily.

While the episode was titled “Assassins,” there was little to chew on concerning the new overall mystery of ‘Who Shot Paul Young?’ However, one could say the “assassins” in question could be metaphors for the Wisteria Lane residents’ past taking aim at their present and showing no mercy. While it was a pretty eventful episode by setting up the second half of the season, it will only hold water if the subsequent episodes improve upon it.

See you guys next week!

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